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  1. #11
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    I feel like I'm missing something... They seem like pretty tame examples to end a friendship and dump somebody from bridesmaid duties. If they're the worst things she has done then at the very least you should give the friendship a chance to repair. Babies and weddings can do weird things to people. This week I've called DS several names and feral numerous times in his life, it can be tongue in cheek and maybe you're not in sync with her sense of humour.

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  3. #12
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    I don't know, if you're internally cringing about whether someone is not a very nice human, and you would rather them out of your wedding, I think trust your instincts and delete. Life is too short.

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  5. #13
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    I'm really sorry you feel this way, I have been in a similar situation. If you don't want to confront her, write her a letter. Tell her what you think, how you feel and why. Tell her you feel what she is doing is affecting your friendship and you want to be close with her including sharing your special day BUT her behaviour is impacting this. She will either see the point and reflect or think you are over reacting (In which case not a true friend/confidant and someone worth your trust and friendship). Be up front and then leave the ball in her court. True friends will want to sort things out, fairweather friends will blame you and move on. Goodluck x

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  7. #14
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    I also call my DD2 feral & mischief maker, I love her to absolute bits, she is just full of personality and isn't afraid to go after what she wants.

    I would hate to think my friends would judge me for this.

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    I'm really sorry you feel this way, I have been in a similar situation. If you don't want to confront her, write her a letter. Tell her what you think, how you feel and why. Tell her you feel what she is doing is affecting your friendship and you want to be close with her including sharing your special day BUT her behaviour is impacting this. She will either see the point and reflect or think you are over reacting (In which case not a true friend/confidant and someone worth your trust and friendship). Be up front and then leave the ball in her court. True friends will want to sort things out, fairweather friends will blame you and move on. Goodluck x
    Just be careful if you approach her that you don't go the attack route. Use "I" statements. Eg instead if saying "you are mean to your kid when you say XYZ..." Try saying "when I hear XYZ being said to a child I feel really uncomfortable... Like I want to distance myself from it "

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  11. #16
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    Because of the husbands I would either suck it up and have her in the wedding but slowly distance myself from her. Or as someone else suggested I would go with no wedding party at all.

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  13. #17
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    What does your partner think?

  14. #18
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    I would discuss with your DF how he feels because it will impact him with her husband and see if he wants it confronted before or after the wedding.

    However it plays out I wouldn't allow her to be in control of my child at all. I also wouldn't be encouraging or participating I catch ups because the more I see issues the bigger they are the more I can't stand it. Perhaps some distance would do you some good to get clarity on what you ultimately would like from your friendship.

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  16. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smyles View Post
    I also call my DD2 feral & mischief maker, I love her to absolute bits, she is just full of personality and isn't afraid to go after what she wants.

    I would hate to think my friends would judge me for this.
    I guess it's how she says it. She gets really angry at him and calls him a feral, little **** head etc, and her tone makes it sound like she doesn't even like him IYKWIM. And not because he's naughty but because he woke her up early or he threw his food on the floor (he's 6 months old). He's been really sick lately and she gets ****ty with him for crying all the time, she even told him she couldn't wait for daycare the next day (great place for him to be when he's sick) poor little guy probably just wants a cuddle. It makes me so sad.

    Anyway, I think as suggested I will try to talk to my DF about it tonight and see what he thinks. I think he'll most likely want to avoid drama but I can't stand the thought of having her in all our wedding photos

  17. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Just be careful if you approach her that you don't go the attack route. Use "I" statements. Eg instead if saying "you are mean to your kid when you say XYZ..." Try saying "when I hear XYZ being said to a child I feel really uncomfortable... Like I want to distance myself from it "
    Exactly, not an accusation, but the way you feel about what is going on :-)

    I dont like it when you call your son a ***head, it makes *me feel* really sad for him, and uncomfortable. I would really like it if you didn't do that especially when I am around. I understand you might be frustrated, is there anything I can do to help?

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