+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 41
  1. #11
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In the messy house, Brisbane
    Posts
    9,481
    Thanks
    2,180
    Thanked
    5,405
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Is she not getting financial assistance to care for the kids?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to SpecialPatrolGroup For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (30-05-2014)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,018
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    That's a difficult situation op. Personally I wouldn't loan her the money. I may sound harsh but a person in her situation will be back for more and more and it's not something I would want to get into with a friend. Can she go to centrelink for an emergency payment? As another said, is she on payments for the kids? There are heaps of welfare places that will help out with groceries/some bills etc so I would direct her to them. Why is she paying her sons rent? If he lost his job surely he would be on a centrelink payment too. I think it sounds a bit fishy to me personally. But I may be a bit too suspicious!!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to wannaBamumma For This Useful Post:

    peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,478
    Thanks
    179
    Thanked
    784
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'd be suss...if you'd like to help I'd be more inclined to buy her $50 worth of food, point her in the direction of services available to help and let her know that you can't afford future requests.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:

    mrswhitehouse  (30-05-2014),peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014),VicPark  (30-05-2014)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    937
    Thanks
    131
    Thanked
    407
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It's a tough one, I'm sorry you are put in this situation. It really depends on the person, I feel that you are probably the best person to make that choice.

    For example we know someone who never has any money (they constantly borrowed money off my hubby before I came along), yet they both smoke cigarettes, drink rum and smoke pot. Would I lend them $50? Hell no!

    We also know a single mum of 4 kids who really struggles when her bills come in. Would I lend her $50? Hell yes!

    It's not a nice situation to be put in and I really don't envy you. It will be hard to say no, but if it's an ongoing thing then it might be time to say no. It can be hard to determine whether they genuinely need it or whether they are just taking advantage of your generosity.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dee1 For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (30-05-2014),peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  9. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    1,450
    Thanks
    288
    Thanked
    361
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Atlantic Puffin View Post
    Tell her that. You have your own family to support and bills to pay. Give her some contact details for your local salvation army and even ring them and ask for a direct name/contact who she can call to avoid the chase around.... then kindly tell her that its a hard situation but you know she understands you cant afford to keep giving to her anymore.
    This is a great suggestion.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dancingbutterfly For This Useful Post:

    Atlantic Puffin  (30-05-2014),peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  11. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Sydney South
    Posts
    1,914
    Thanks
    1,226
    Thanked
    849
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    The fact that her 2 sons welch off her to the point that she has to beg for food makes me really sick.

    Can I ask are try the daughters kids and that's why she was helping her mum or are they one of the sons kids?

    Personally couldn't sleep at night knowing the children needed food but that's just me. I would go down to Aldi and stock up for her. Plenty of long life milk, fruits and veg and mince. I know it might seem degrading not letting her choose but she sounds like a bit of a push over and I would be worried she would give it to her son and try to borrow off someone else...if Aldi do vouchers that's even better. Coles/Myers you don't get the same amount of food....

    As pp had said since she has involved you in her finances maybe have a word about supporting the sons..especially the one she's paying rent for. I also agree I highly doubt docs will remove a child from family even if they are doing it tough. Try to get her to see centrelink to explain she has the care of these 2 kids and needs extra help.

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Meld85 For This Useful Post:

    AngelicHobgoblin  (30-05-2014),KaraB  (30-05-2014),peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  13. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    582
    Thanks
    117
    Thanked
    335
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Atlantic Puffin View Post
    Have you never heard the saying "borrow from peter to pay paul".... basically borrowing from one person to pay another (or pay for another)

    OP:..... you cant help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
    It would be different if she was waiting on centrelink to kick in, or if she desperately needed money to help her or her son get a job (ie bus fare money/ interview wear etc)..... but you cant support her as an ongoing thing and she cant just keep borrowing from friends. Its impossible to live like that. She needs to sort her stuff out.

    The govt will not take the kids. From my friend who used to work for child protective services, their NUMBER ONE goal is keeping kids with their family in a stable environment. So unless they are being severely and hugely neglected and abused, there is no chance they will be taken.
    Yes I know it's an expression, but it doesn't apply here. No-one is being 'robbed' to pay another. The expression specifically refers to a situation where you try to solve one problem, but create another in doing so, often through short-term planning.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TreeGirl For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (30-05-2014),just her chameleon  (30-05-2014)

  15. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    582
    Thanks
    117
    Thanked
    335
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    P.S sorry to derail the thread OP. it sounds like a difficult situation. I still believe if you can, help, without asking questions. If it becomes a repeated thing then by all means see what else is going on

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to TreeGirl For This Useful Post:

    peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  17. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    193
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    55
    Reviews
    0
    They're not going to take the kids.

    She needs to go to Centrelink and let them know she has two extra dependants that she needs assistance for, ASAP.

    IF she is willing to do that TODAY, then and only then would I loan her the money or as pp's have suggested go and drop round some basic groceries, with the disclaimer that you simply can't afford to do it again at all. Tell her you have your own debts and responsibilities and giving money to her is making it harder for you to make ends meet.

    Eta - totally agree she should be telling both of her sons to get on to the dole if they don't want to/can't find work. She can't be paying for two adult sons in her financial position! By including you in her finances, she has given you the right the comment.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to Tattereds For This Useful Post:

    peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)

  19. #20
    waitsee's Avatar
    waitsee is offline “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    927
    Thanks
    135
    Thanked
    68
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    If she is putting her sons rent $160 over food and care for the g rand children she is doing the wrong thing, he chose to move out, she has responsibility to the GC first. Basically she expects to ask for $50 from you and get it. Say no more, buy bread / milk / fruit & veg if it helps you feel better. But just like anyone else she cannot continue to live beyond her means and guilt others into helping her.

    Sent from my GT-P3110 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to waitsee For This Useful Post:

    peppertrees2014  (30-05-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Peter Pan....wait...what?!
    By Pusheen The Cat in forum General Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 24-01-2014, 08:59
  2. Friend asked me to pray about this man who has sought her out on the net
    By littlebopeep2013 in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 07-09-2013, 20:22
  3. Dr Peter Yong
    By muzzy in forum IVF
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-06-2013, 20:35

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
GymbaROO
GymbaROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. Classes are available Australia-wide. Enrol today & help your child to reach their full potential. Visit the website to find out more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!