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  1. #41
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    oh my goodness Brimm. I would RUN AND RUN FAR from this poor excuse of a man/husband. Anybody who would try and ''force'' me to do such a thing - I could not love or live with anymore.

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  3. #42
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    Keep the baby, get rid of the husband, what an a*se!!

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  5. #43
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    Sorry for the loss of your mum

    I agree with the previous responses, your husband is way out of line. I'm sorry but he is abusing you and trying to control you and seems to have no care for your feelings at all.
    I really hope that you can put the baby issue aside even and work out in your mind what is wrong with this picture. Because it won't just be about babies in future, it will be any thing you choose to do that he doesn't want.
    To me this is a red flag. Maybe he isn't who you thought he was or maybe this is just bringing things to a head.

    I'm pro life, so I can't be of much assistance with opinions there.
    I hope you are strong enough to make your own choices and some hard choices you may have to.
    Best of luck with it all

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  7. #44
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi brimm, to give you my short answer, I really believe this baby may put your financial plans back a couple of years at the most There should be no reason why you cant return work afterwards, and the situation with your investment properties will sort itself out. You have been given enough grief and heart break, please make some time to re-assess what you want for you and your future. Your husband is not thinking clearly, " life is what happens while we are busy making other plans". He needs to stop the bully attitude. hugs , Marie.

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  9. #45
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    This is all going to sound horribly cliche, but here it is.

    There is never really a good time to have a baby.

    Life is short, you cant please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

    A child needs only love, everything else is materialistic crap.

    You pursued a financial dream, has it made you happy? Would a baby make you happy? Broken dreams are one thing, but losing a child is quite another.

    Whether you realise it or not, you are a strong independent empowered woman. Be true to your authentic self And find your voice. Do not be pushed by how others would have you be. Whatever you want to do, you can do it, your way, in your time. Your decisions are yours and they are ok no matter what you decide. Own them. Take the power back.

    Don't conspire with others to allow yourself to become a victim of circumstance.

    There are those in this world that sink, and those that swim, no matter what the season.

    Believe whats in your heart and you will never go wrong. Sometimes this takes courage, be brave. Happiness is a form of courage.

    Strive to be happy.

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  11. #46
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    I think I struggle with the concept of losing him due to losing so much already. I had my whole life ripped into shreds last year, I told him that and why I am struggling so much to give up this baby. What if Brenton gets cancer, or I get sick or something happens or this is my only chance to get pregnant. There are so many "what ifs" and I'm under the believe (something that has been generated since the lost of my mum) that what will be will be. I'm not a religious person in the sense that I attend church but I did attend a religious school that helped shape the way I perceive the world.

    As one poster said what if this is how he will be when something doesn't go his way. It's true, this isn't the first time. This time last year before my mum was diagnosed our night time discussion surrounded his wish of me getting rid of my business because it didn't fit into his plan. It is sucking money into it at the moment as it is only 4 years old in a developing market. It is something I've dreamed of since I was an aspired ballerina with a dream to pass my knowledge onto others. Fights were met with him telling me to choose between him or the business, that I am killing us financially and only thinking about myself. I luckily had my mum there for guidance who said don't let anyone dictate your dreams. She knew how hard I had worked to get to where I was and was my biggest supporter of growing it. I have days where I question why I still have it, but you battle on and remember why you started it in the first place. He has come around a lot since then, mum talking to him helped. Many nights though I cried myself to sleep realising I'll probably end up working in an industry I'm not passionate about and I know what it is like to work a job you love.

    My business is once again in the firing line. It's one of the things he said he will back out assisting with if I have the baby.

  12. #47
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly39 View Post
    This is all going to sound horribly cliche, but here it is.

    There is never really a good time to have a baby.

    Life is short, you cant please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

    A child needs only love, everything else is materialistic crap.

    You pursued a financial dream, has it made you happy? Would a baby make you happy? Broken dreams are one thing, but losing a child is quite another.

    Whether you realise it or not, you are a strong independent empowered woman. Be true to your authentic self And find your voice. Do not be pushed by how others would have you be. Whatever you want to do, you can do it, your way, in your time. Your decisions are yours and they are ok no matter what you decide. Own them. Take the power back.

    Don't conspire with others to allow yourself to become a victim of circumstance.

    There are those in this world that sink, and those that swim, no matter what the season.

    Believe whats in your heart and you will never go wrong. Sometimes this takes courage, be brave. Happiness is a form of courage.

    Strive to be happy.
    I want to print this out and keep it in my pocket for reassurance when I'm feeling generally overwhelmed in life.
    Such fantastic advice, thanks for posting such wise words

    Sent from my GT-S7500T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  14. #48
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    OP would your marriage survive if you terminate (and it's not what YOU want to do)? Could you ever look at him the same way? Could you love him anymore?

  15. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    OP would your marriage survive if you terminate (and it's not what YOU want to do)? Could you ever look at him the same way? Could you love him anymore?
    I think it would due to me, simply because I don't want to lose anymore. Would I forgive him... No. But I would deal with it.

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    I have to say I'm with everyone else here, he is being very manipulative and bullying you which is not conducive to making such a life changing decision. I really think until he can listen to your feelings on this or other important matters then it is only going to breed resentment and be the downfall for your marriage.


 

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