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  1. #451
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    HES abused you. He's so good at his lies and manipulation that he's turned this around to shift the blame to you! You are not 100% to blame for this.
    You need to talk to someone to process it all. I suggest someone who specialises in domestic abuse. Not that you are thinking about a new relationship right now but if you don't sort it out then you'll continue to fall victim to low life scums who believe it's ok to abuse another human and it's ok to manipulate them into thinking that they are the victim and you are the aggressor http://m.whiteribbon.org.au/finding-help

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    mrswhitehouse  (06-09-2014)

  3. #452
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    So called verbal abuse aside can I ask did you hit your husband?
    If so thats not ok. Not for a man or a woman to do not ever. And if you did hit your husband you need help to sort yourself out so you dont do that in your next relationship.

    That aside he sounds like a d $/k from everything else you've written and I think he has been abusive to you. Its common for an abuser to lay blame on their victim unfortunately x
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  5. #453
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    Yes I hit him.....a lot. I told him id stop but never did. 2 months ago I finally got on top of it but it wax too late.

    Definitely no other woman.

    All he wanted from me was to be spoken too nicely and not be hit, it's my fault.

  6. #454
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    Brimm I've been reading along but never posted until now.

    Sounds like the relationship brought out the worst in both of you. No marriage should ever involve abuse on either side, regardless of circumstances. . You two were not good together. Time to move on. Good luck.

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  8. #455
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    Brimm I believe no one has the right to ever lay a hand on another person in anger ever, so you are definitely in the wrong there but I think the abuse went both ways. From everything you have said your husband sounds like a emotional abuser and would throw a tantrum and make you feel bad if he didn't get his own way. While I don't condone hitting I also don't think you can blame yourself for the breakdown of your marriage as it seems like maybe you just didn't bring out the best in each other. Take the time to reflect on both yours and his mistakes and get some help to deal with whatever issues you have that caused you to be violent.

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    Liddybugs  (05-09-2014)

  10. #456
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    Brimm, you sound like you're really not in a good place right now.

    Can I just ask a genuine question, given you're only now admitting to hitting him and verbally abusing him, I have to ask, are you making that up to shield yourself from the hurt your DH has caused you as you feel like you can get through it easier if you take blame and aren't in fact the victim, or have you withheld this part of the situation as you needed to deal with the sucky situation of an unwanted (by your DH) baby, without bringing in this other 'facet' of the situation.

    I think as little miss sunshine says, its time to move on either way, but I only ask this question so we can give you the best advice possible.

    Big hun. No matter what the situation, we are all still here for you.

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  12. #457
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    Your relationship was toxic.
    As hard as it is you both aren't good for each other and you will realise this one day.
    While violence is never acceptable there was much more then just physical violence in your relationship.
    It's no one persons fault you are breaking up you are both no good to each other and as hard as that is knowing that your mother witnessed your marriage believe me as a mother I wouldn't want my daughter in a relationship like yours. Did your mum know the truth like we do or did she have a different much nicer image of the two of you?
    Hugs Brimm

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    Didn't think it played a part in him not wanting the baby to be honest. I hadn't touched him like that for about 7 months.

    I know it's wrong and I've been getting counselling to help it. I am disgusted in myself.

  14. #459
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    Didn't think it played a part in him not wanting the baby to be honest. I hadn't touched him like that for about 7 months.

    I know it's wrong and I've been getting counselling to help it. I am disgusted in myself.
    Well I commend you for recognising its wrong and sorting it out. That is a big part of the battle.
    Not to make light of a serious situation but if he was my DH id have given him a smack too.
    I should add im a very petite person so not likely to do much damage😛

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    mrswhitehouse  (06-09-2014)

  16. #460
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    I don't know what to say... Come on...You went into extensive detail about your private life, hubby and marriage problems and left out the bit where you abuse your husband?. That's not how you peel an onion. I feel you have in a way wasted people's time as advice they have offered in this thread could be way off the mark since they were only given half the story.

    I hope you continue with the counselling. Good luck.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-09-2014 at 17:00.

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