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  1. #361
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    I'm sorry to hear you have miscarried brimm

    I think the way those around you have handled this situation is downright appalling. You need love, hugs, kind words - not being told you are being an inconvenience. My mind boggles at the selfishness and lack of compassion.

    This has been a very stressful life experience for you. Your husband has shown he cannot emotionally 'be there' for you, when you need him most. My heart really breaks for you.

    I would seriously recommend taking some time out for yourself to think about life and what you want for the future. You seem like a lovely person and you deserve to be happy.

    Don't be afraid to put your happiness first, because I sadly doubt your husband ever will

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  3. #362
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    Thank you everyone. I am doing okay actually, kind of wish I was working so I could keep myself distracted but at the same time in a bit of pain.

    These experiences I've had has made me question ALOT about my life. It's made me realise that life is so short so to make the most of it, ensure you live happy and not in regret. I will stay with my husband and see how things go once we move out of this toxic environment then I'll reassess if need be. I've already made him agree to go see a marriage counsellor as I will not continue living my life like this.

    I'm just really sick of being judged by him, my sister and his parents. The reason for this is I am the only person who doesn't ***** about my dad (yes I am angry and furious at how he has treated us) but I'm just over being angry, it's way too draining. So they all think I am 'siding' with him. It's not about taking sides it's about moving on and not allowing him to dictate your emotions and life. My husband says that because I don't ***** about him it means I don't care and that upsets him. I was so excited about selling the land last night, it was the 1st good news I've heard since mum passed away. He turned it into a negative experience by screaming and swearing the whole drive to the hospital.

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  5. #363
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    My husband agreed to come but complained the whole time about how he wasn't feeling 'good' and I am ruining his night.
    OMFG. I'm sorry, but this would have to be the most selfish thing I've ever heard! HE is not feeling good?!?! HIS night is being ruined?!? Wow, just wow.

    I am so sorry for all you've had to go through Brimm, I can imagine how heartwrenching the entire experience has been for you - I can not imagine for one moment going through it with a husband as selfish as that. His behaviour is just inexcusable. And carrying on all upset because he didn't get as much money as he wanted, but not giving a c@#p about his wife having a miscarriage?? I can not even get my head around it at all. You deserve so much more than that.

    As pp's have said, it's all very easy to be a positive and lovely man when everything's going your way - it's when life throws curve balls that we discover who people really are.

    I spent 15 years with a very selfish man, it was his selfishness that ultimately lead to me deciding to divorce him. It is no way to live. I am now married to the most unselfish man on the planet.
    Last edited by HillDweller; 11-06-2014 at 11:41. Reason: edited because I got mad and my spelling suffered

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  7. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    I was so excited about selling the land last night, it was the 1st good news I've heard since mum passed away. He turned it into a negative experience by screaming and swearing the whole drive to the hospital.
    The lack of empathy simply astounds me.
    Once again, acting like a spolit little turd when his focus should be on his wife...in pain..having a miscarriage... I have no words left that I can use to adequately sum up how I feel about this "man".
    Last edited by hangingupsidedown; 11-06-2014 at 12:14.

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  9. #365
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    I am so sorry for your loss Brimm.
    It's sad that it takes time like this to see the true colours of the people closest to you. You sound like a very forgiving person and that is a wonderful trait but not at the expense of people abusing this quality.
    Truthfully your husband seems to have a lot of issues but what stands out is how much stronger a person you are and he knows this but will never admit it he will try to bring you down by what he says and does to make him feel stronger but really it's just making him a weak man.
    I hope the councillng helps really I do good luck.

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  11. #366
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    Quote Originally Posted by chickenfoot83 View Post
    I am so sorry for your loss Brimm.
    It's sad that it takes time like this to see the true colours of the people closest to you. You sound like a very forgiving person and that is a wonderful trait but not at the expense of people abusing this quality.
    Truthfully your husband seems to have a lot of issues but what stands out is how much stronger a person you are and he knows this but will never admit it he will try to bring you down by what he says and does to make him feel stronger but really it's just making him a weak man.
    I hope the councillng helps really I do good luck.
    I completely agree with this. We never truly know what the people around us are made of until you face something like this. A person's true colours will always come through in difficult times. Unfortunately I think your husband's colours are clearly on display here.

    Big hugs, I'm so sad to hear you lost your bub. Your time will come xxx

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  13. #367
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    Brimm I am so sorry for your loss, what a terrible thing to go through xx

    I usually stick up for men in BH threads however I have to say the way your hubby acted when you needed to go to hospital was without a doubt bloody appalling. If you want to give him another chance when you move out on your own then that's your call. But please be crystal clear in your own mind that your hubby's behaviour while you are going through a miscarriage is not acceptable. Do not let him think that his behavior is anything less than disgraceful and in humane ... Otherwise he will continue to be a f'n @rsehole regardless of whether or not you are living with relatives or on your own.
    Last edited by VicPark; 11-06-2014 at 13:54.

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  15. #368
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    Brimm, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Your husband sounds like a self-obsessed douchebag. I hope that some of the comments on this thread help you realise that the way he treats you is not ok & not the acts of a caring, loving partner. I think you deserve much better.

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  17. #369
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    You talked a while back about believing that things happen for a reason. While I don't 100% believe in this, however I read a quote once, I don't know the exact wording, about each opportunity usually comes gift-wrapped in a problem.
    I know that one too, it's something I keep in mind when things aren't going as planned.

    “What life tends to do is hide its greatest gifts and present them as your worst nightmare.”

    Brimm, I'm sorry you married a horrible self-centered man.
    I cannot understand your sister's behavior either.
    BUT, please don't go blindly into the future with this man.
    Please learn something from these past few weeks and RUN!

  18. #370
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    Going through all of this has definitely made me reassess a lot of things. I also think this last year has made me grow up and mature a lot quicker. I've begun to realise how short life is and to ensure you make the most of it and most importantly don't ever live in regret. I regret not saying lots of things to my mum and I never want to feel like that again.

    In reassessing everything thats going on I've begun to look at my life in a different prospective. My business, my career and everything else that comes along with it. There are times I've questioned just giving my business up as its a huge added stress but letting go of a dream that I still hold onto is very difficult. I'm also very driven to go back to University and study Physiotherapy but once again the unknown is scary.

    I've realised that those who aren't your true friends aren't worth the effort. If they aren't willing to make time for you then they shouldn't be your friend. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see the best in them, it's stung me on several occasions.


 

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