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  1. #311
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    He sounds like a total narcissist to me. I'm a strong woman too.... but at the same time I need a soft place to land. I cry to my husband, let out all my fears, my anger and hurt, and he is there for me.

    No matter how strong we are, everyone needs that soft place to land sometimes. Does he provide you that?
    At this point in time...NO. It's all about him and his own pity for his life. As his father said to me the other day "we have supported you but you have given us 0 support" I was so horrified at that comment that I stayed at my sisters house. The complete nonsense I have had to listen to from him and my husband over the investment properties, my dad and everything else. His dad tells me stuff about how I don't really know what my husband is going through and when I get upset and say "excuse me, he is my husband of course I know what is going on" he goes "you just really don't". His dad is lovely with a big heart but his is extremely opinionated and I cannot stand it. As you can imagine it's a bit of a toxic environment at the moment.

    He has bribed me with a new car, trip to Canada/America and several other things once the investment properties sell....he feels he can just do that to make it better.

  2. #312
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    At this point in time...NO. It's all about him and his own pity for his life.
    As I said, these are the moments that truly reveal what type of people we are. It's easy to be happy and supportive when everything is great, it's when the chips are down that are a test of our character. And he has failed dismally. From what you've said, this isn't the first time he's behaved like this. Each time he doesn't get his own way, he acts like a 5yo.

    I really feel for you. I could never look at my husband the same way again if he had acted like this. Humming away, acting all happy while he knows you may well be miscarrying. Revolting.

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  4. #313
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    It seems like your husbands family have raised a self centered, spolit, selfish brat who is used to getting his way. Their behaviour and comments seem to point to an unhealthy type of parenting with their son. It explains why he is such a selfish and controlling individual..mummy and daddy have treated him like a little prince that can do no wrong.

  5. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to hangingupsidedown For This Useful Post:

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  6. #314
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    Quote Originally Posted by hangingupsidedown View Post
    It seems like your husbands family have raised a self centered, spolit, selfish brat who is used to getting his way. Their behaviour and comments seem to point to an unhealthy type of parenting with their son. It explains why he is such a selfish and controlling individual..mummy and daddy have treated him like a little prince that can do no wrong.
    Yep, was thinking exactly the same thing.

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  8. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    As I said, these are the moments that truly reveal what type of people we are. It's easy to be happy and supportive when everything is great, it's when the chips are down that are a test of our character. And he has failed dismally. From what you've said, this isn't the first time he's behaved like this. Each time he doesn't get his own way, he acts like a 5yo.

    I really feel for you. I could never look at my husband the same way again if he had acted like this. Humming away, acting all happy while he knows you may well be miscarrying. Revolting.
    I think the thing is I am just so incredibly emotionally drained that I don't think I have the energy to even cry. When I mentioned this to him he said "and I'm not!" I understand he is going through a lot and I've tried to distance myself from the drama associated with the investment properties as I couldn't cope, particularly straight after mum passed away. The thing is though instead of understanding those feelings he has said that I don't care, that I don't show him any support. I got to the point last week where I told him I wanted to throw my business away as I've just had enough, I can't deal with it all anymore.

    I do apologies if none of this makes sense. I've been staring at a computer 3 days straight and my brain is 100% fried.

  9. #316
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    Quote Originally Posted by hangingupsidedown View Post
    It seems like your husbands family have raised a self centered, spolit, selfish brat who is used to getting his way. Their behaviour and comments seem to point to an unhealthy type of parenting with their son. It explains why he is such a selfish and controlling individual..mummy and daddy have treated him like a little prince that can do no wrong.
    Oh his dad treats him like he is 5 years old, it's kind of odd. His mum is much stricter. I certainly wouldn't say spoilt though, his dad is probably the most tight **** man going around! Wouldn't even pay for his sons birthday dinner the other night.

  10. #317
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    All I keep hearing brimm is that this man has zero empathy for you. I've not read a single comment from you where he's acknowledged your feelings without making the issue about himself. No matter what you say to him his response is all about himself and how he feels and what you've done to cause him to feel that way. You have every right to be furious and fed up. This man epitomises selfishness and as others have said, is a classic sign of emotional abuse. I'm so sorry you're living with this.

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  12. #318
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    Maybe I'm confused, but what is it exactly that's so hard for him to deal with at the moment? Selling a couple of properties? I know that can be stressful but it would pale in comparison to losing your mum and everything else you're dealing with at the moment! Taking care of the finances for a while seems like the least he should be doing!!

    What his father said to you was completely out of line. How dare he. It sounds like his parents are fueling your DHs poor behaviour and attitude.

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  14. #319
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    Oh his dad treats him like he is 5 years old, it's kind of odd. His mum is much stricter. I certainly wouldn't say spoilt though, his dad is probably the most tight **** man going around! Wouldn't even pay for his sons birthday dinner the other night.
    No surprises that his male role model is like this...explains a lot.

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  16. #320
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    I've lost 3 babies and it makes sense. I too, got to a place there were no tears left. It shouldn't matter he didn't want the baby, his wife is going through a terrible time and he should be there for you.

    To be frank, I think there is a whole lot more at play here than him not wanting this baby. There are far deeper issues. You shouldn't have to give up the business that is your dream. Bc it's YOUR dream. I've been with my DH nearly 20 years. I guarantee you there will be many more bumps in the road. Even the happiest marriages have them. And he will do this again and again.

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