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  1. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    @hollygolighty81, that is really sad and I am sorry. I am glad to hear you are in a much better place and things have worked for you and your family. Can I ask a question (no judgement, just cuurious) did you want to terminate your first pregnancy or was it because your dh wanted you to, and do you have any regrets?
    No problem, I am in a much better place with our decision and I don't mind talking about it. It was my decision, I don't know if I necessarily feel he pressured me, but he let me know he didn't want it and didn't really understand why I was so upset about it all so he wasn't very sensitive. I think to a young guy, they don't really understand how emotional and hard it is for us, especially if they don't feel it is a life yet. It's hard for them to see why it's not an easy decision. Our circumstances were different, we were living overseas and had only been dating a few months. I'm from the states and he's Australian. He had already used his work visa for the states (how we met) so wouldn't have been eligible to move back there again and I obviously would have gone home to have the baby so I assume we would have broken up just from those logistics not just the pressure of having a baby that he didn't want. There were other reasons I decided to terminate, I wasn't ready, I wanted to stay with him, etc. I was very much in love and knowing he didn't want it played a factor, of course it would. We were young, no money, etc.

    I do regret it but at the same time I don't. It's a weird feeling. I wasn't ready and so scared but obviously I carry a lot of guilt. It triggered major depression in me that I've battled. Our first baby was stillborn and I've struggled with thoughts that she died because I'm being punished. But it's only since having her and our baby boy that I've started to feel more at peace and feel it was the right decision, I am so grateful for my husband and our baby girl and boy and as I look down at my hilarious DS it's hard to regret something that made his life possible. So even though it was a very hard and painful decision and I'll always carry guilt, I do think it ended up being the right one.

    I'm not saying OP's husband isn't being a sh*thead and maybe it's a warning sign, but also maybe it's not. Maybe he is a great guy that just doesn't have the emotional maturity to handle this right now. Only OP knows.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 01-06-2014 at 16:20.

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    MilkingMaid  (01-06-2014),Mybabyjade  (06-09-2014)

  3. #242
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    Good luck tomorrow OP! I hope all is well with bub.

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  5. #243
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    Little update: Went and saw the counsellor today. Although it was nice to talk without being judged it didn't entirely help the situation. Don't think I really meshed with the counsellor, but she was very nice and helpful.

    I unfortunately got stuck in traffic and missed my appointment with the GP. I rang to change the appointment but they were full as she only works Monday and Thursday's till lunch. I however did receive a phone call from her on the way home (voice message) stating that she got my ultra-sound results back and she really needs to talk with me and I need to come in to discuss them. There was a decent amount of concern in her voice...so I was left quite panicked. I rang back up when I managed to pull over but she had already left the office. I have however booked in to see another GP at the same location today at 2:45, the receptionist said they can discuss the results regardless of Dr. I'll book in to see her on Thursday but I don't think I can function all that time without knowing.

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  7. #244
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    I hope everything is ok Brimm! Sending hugs x

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #245
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    Hopefully you're panicking about nothing and can breath a huge sigh of relief when you hear it. Doctors can be real twats about tests sometimes. Best of luck

    Sorry to hear you didn't click with the shrink. It can take a while to find one that you are comfortable with so don't give up hope. Try with someone else and you will find a world of difference when you do find one you feel you can really come out with.
    Last edited by Demonica; 02-06-2014 at 13:08.

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  10. #246
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    I agree, try another one. I met three and the one I stayed with felt like talking to the most amazing and wisest friend.

    Each session was so helpful (yet very hard sometimes).

    Good luck with the GP appointment and test results.

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    KaraB  (02-06-2014)

  12. #247
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    Oh Brimm surely you can see that based on your reaction to a potential problem that you really do already love and want your baby. I really hope everything is ok and that your next ultrasound shows a beautiful strong heartbeat. Crossing my fingers for you hon.

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    I hope your appointment goes well x

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    Doctors appointment went as planned. Results seemed normal for a 4 week pregnant woman, but when we sat down and ran dates it just didn't add up. As everyone has worked out I should be a minimum of 6 weeks...not 4! Doctor believes there is 95% chance it wasn't a viable pregnancy and that i'll miscarriage in the next few weeks.

    Went and got blood results to confirm which will come back tomorrow morning.

    If it does end up being that then I think I'll be okay. It's just natures way of saying its not the right time and I'm okay with that.

  15. #250
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    I'm sorry to hear that brimm x


 

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