May I ask, this is very naive as once again only began the long research into everything 2 weeks ago! In relation to government assistance what is there available? I know the baby bonus finishes in March, 2014. But is there anything else replacing it that assists families?
And after that you'reeligable for family payments depending on the income at the time
Doesn't mean I agree with how he's behaving in the slightest, but I don't think it's particularly helpful to challenge that.
I think right now you need to remove the pregnancy from your mind (just for a second) and try to think if it's good to stay with a man like this.
There are always warning signs, I think this is a huge one.
I understand when you say he is a caring, nice man... Every abusive man has those traits, it's how they get their hook in and can make you stay after hurling abuse at you, it's usually the traits they have before the 'I'm going to make you to sh!t scared to leave' stage.
Yes, he might not have shown this side in the past, but honey! That's only because he has always gotten his way.
You have a child with him now, or in another few years like he has "promised" and these traits he is showing now will just keep showing through more and more and you will find yourself terribly unhappy.
DO NOT let his behavior slide because you feel you need this man in your life, you don't need him.
And if you keep this baby, never, ever get into the mind set that you need to stay with him because you are pregnant. just remember it's much harder to leave 3 or so years down the track when he then uses the child as a weapon against you. Trust me.
The fact he is threatening to leave because you won't go through with a medical procedure, that involves YOUR body, and is YOUR choice and YOUR baby is disgusting.
I feel like I want to give you a slap (a nice, well meaning slap ) to wake you up to what he is doing!!!
And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
This man doesn't care for you, your body or your decisions and that is a huge red flag.
I know you have lost your mum, I can't relate to that, I can relate to what your dad has done, mine did the same thing and cut me from his life and left a huge trail of destruction, emotionally and finically.
I half understand the feeling of not wanting to loose another person so close to you and the family and friends that come with it.
But I'm a mother, if my daughter was in your position I would be a bucket full of emotions! None of them nice ones.
If your mum was still here, what do you think she would say? What would her advise be?
You can stay with this man and feel alone for the rest of your life, or you can leave, build your own family and never have regret.
I can 100% guarantee you, as a mother of an unplanned child myself, you will never regret a child.
You might regret the circumstances around the child, but never the child.
From reading your posts, you don't want an abortion. I'm 100% pro choice, but what you have written here makes me feel like you would regret having an abortion.
What would your husband do if you turned the tables? If you said to him, "I'm leaving you if you don't let me keep this child" ?
Perhaps that's something you need to think more about.
My advise to you would be to tell your husband to F off, and focus on yourself.
But I understand it's not so black and white.
S try and do something daily that benefits you and your decisions and go from there.
Don't think of this as something new that's working against you and stuffing up plans and relationships in your life, see it as another hurdle that you will refuse to regret in the future when your life is in a happy place.
Either way OP you sound like you'll be an amazing mum and that's more than enough
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!