Brimm - we ALL have these dreams and plans for our kids, and they are being worked on, re-worked, discarded, realised every day. It simply isn't possible to have it all worked out before you have a baby (well unless you are uber rich or something) life is ALWAYS a work in progress, you just take it one day at a time, one challenge at a time.
The way I make it work is to only focus on the things that are right in front of me this moment, put all my energy into those, and let the rest of it work itself out. I definitely make plans for the future, but when those plans have been made, that's enough, detach from the outcome. Have some trust.
Life is an awesome adventure, and an ongoing experiment every day of our lives, embrace it. If you relax into the ride, it's pretty exhilarating
If you use all your energy up worrying, (about things that often never happen anyway) then you have a lot less energy to enjoy life.