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  1. #121
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    I also want to point out that I can imagine you having an abortion and it compounding your grief. What consolation will there be when your husband will be strutting around jubilant about the very thing you will be grieving over- your child? Can you imagine? Will you really feel glad to have kept your husband when it will now be based on the condition that you had an abortion you didn't even want to have? Who will be there for you at the end when you're bleeding and feeling empty? If the thought of abortion only fills you with dread and tears now it's only going to be worse afterwards. To me as an outsider there is more hope in the idea that you could keep your baby and find a way to make it work you know? I just had a baby myself and had similar pressure to abort. It's been up and down especially for the first few months of my pregnancy but over time those feelings became less and less and gave way to excitement. My baby is now 3 weeks old. His father is still an ******* who doesn't love me so no great loss there. I have not for a second regretted my decision to keep him. He's just the sweetest little baby His conception really shouldn't have been possible based on timing and I definitely took it as a sign that he was meant to be. His father has come around to a degree about wanting him but not enough for my liking. Either way even if he completely dissapeared and had no imput at all in our lives I'd still have chosen to keep him. No one here will give you a hard time if you have an abortion regardless of their personal beliefs including me I just feel like you want to keep your baby. Everyone has fears even in planned pregnancies it's not ness a sign that you can't do this either.

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  3. #122
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    This sounds so worrying. I can't imagine how you are feeling. You need to decide, in your heart of hears - whether if you did terminate because he wants you to - if you could ever really forgive him for that.

    I would like to point out, I am totally pro choice - but only because I believe in bodily autonomy - and someone forcing you to terminate is not bodily autonomy.

    Good luck OP, what an awful situation for him to put you in. There is never a perfect time for a baby, that is life.

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  5. #123
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    Do you have any close friends for support?

  6. #124
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    Brimm:

    Im not sure if you've cancelled your appointment tomorrow or not, but if youre looking for a sign or someone to tell you what to do, HERE IS YOUR SIGN. The fact you even came here to start with already answers your own question.
    Dont do something you will regret for the rest of your life.

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  8. #125
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    I'm sure the girls in the Due date January thread would love to have you if you decide to stick around and need some moral support

    http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?522244-Due-January-2015-Chat

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  10. #126
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    Yes @brimm if you decide to keep the baby come and join us in the due in Jan group. No pressure as decision is obviously yours.

  11. #127
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    Hi Brimm. Welcome to the forum.
    I'm sorry to hear you've had a very rough year with the loss of your mum and then the bad stuff that happened and still going on with your Dad and financial stuff being crappy.
    I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Once I read that you conceiving was so quick and not something that would've been easy, I knew it's a sign from your Mum. She's giving you a baby that will bring you so much love and light to your life. She is trying to fill the hole she left. As another pp said, there is NO other love like you have for your child. It is never ending and fully in supply!!

    Reading your words about your husband makes me so mad and sad. I hate hearing how selfish and immature he is being about it all. He has no empathy at all

    Whatever your decision make sure it's yours and only yours. Who knows what the future holds, life is there to live and make mistakes. And I feel if you terminate not fully thinking about it and doing it for other people and not good reasons, you're not going to be happy in the future. It is your body so it's YOUR choice ONLY!! Please don't make any decision as you're not ready to. Definitely seeing a counsellor is the next step to do.

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  13. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    May I ask is it wrong to have the feeling; "What will be will be". I said that to my sister and she got pretty angry, said it was no way of addressing a life. I just believe things happen for a reason, surely they have too? After everything I've been through and for the fact I am in no way a bad person, surely there has to be a reason why things occur?

    After I lost my mum I re-thought the saying: good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. My mum was the most generous, caring and giving person anyone could meet, she didn't deserve to die a painful death at 52. She gave to charities, was always there for her colleagues (sometimes coming home at 9pm having stayed back to help someone with work), she was loved by everyone yet this occurred to her. She's not the only one, there is always bad things happening to good people.

    Don't know if any of that makes sense!
    Not wrong at all honey. In fact it sounds like an accepting more peaceful way of responding to the unpredictability of life. I don't know what your sisters so angry about there's nothing wrong with that at all. I suppose you could decide to flap about and carry on any time things don't go according to plan but you'd be stressed out and frustrated much of the time. My god this is her niece or nephew potentially, you'd think she'd be a bit more supportive. Funny thing is that most of the people who aren't supportive now would take one look at your newborn baby and fall helplessly in love. It's strange how people can be so callous in these situations because they think of your pregnancy/baby as a hypothetical situation when it can still be terminated. But what they fail to truly see is that it's a reality and that makes it a different thing altogether.

  14. #129
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    I know a few others have mentioned 'everything happens for a reason' I agree 100% whether it be good bad or otherwise. There is a reason why your pregnant!

    One thing I try to remember is that there's 2 sides to every story, however the side I'm hearing your husband sounds like opinionated, arrogant horrible man!
    The way he's behaving and the things he has said sounds like the beginning of something.

    My mum has always said to me 'everything will be ok' during tough times. She is so right we manage to make things work!

    Brimm, this is not a nice situation to be in. Go with your heart and what feels right. YOU have a voice YOU can speak up! Do not let him bully you.

    Stay strong x

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