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  1. #91
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    I haven't read any replies yet but here are my two cents.
    I am a huge believer in being financially ready for children, but honestly it is only money. I don't know how someone can disregard your feelings if you are feeling so uncomfortable with this decision. Is this man going to threaten to leave every time something gets tough? This has to be your decision and you need to 100% comfortable with it or it will haunt you.

  2. #92
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    (Text deleted by Moderator)

    The point of the post was never to upset anyone or make anyone think any less of the situation. If that was the case I apologies. I didn't re-read what I wrote and therefore most of what I said must have come across completely wrong.

    I never said I would do any of those things, I said that were the dreams of my husband and what he wanted.

    As also stated we were using adequate birth control, we aren't 16 and have always taken the correct measures in ensuring this never happened. Even the doctors are complexed at how this occurred, but I think that makes it even harder for me. Like I said losing my mum really put everything into a new perspective and when I found out I was pregnant the first thing I thought was "how?" Two things failed for this to occur and to me...I don't know, this may sounds completely out there, but maybe this was just mean't to happen, maybe its my mum trying to bring some light into our life. I don't know, all I know is the support I have received here has been the only real support I have had. You all have allowed me to open my mind and really assess my options rather than feel threaten and manipulated. I have stood up to my husband last night and ensured he knows my feelings on how he has spoken to me since he found out. He may have listened, he may not have...
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 29-05-2014 at 18:19. Reason: Ref to deleted post

  3. #93
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    Your husband will bankrupt you and you will be left with nothing and no baby. Please do what ever the hell you want and stuff him.

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  5. #94
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    If loosing your mum has put things in perspective I fail to see how you havent told your hubby to get stuffed?

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  7. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    If loosing your mum has put things in perspective I fail to see how you havent told your hubby to get stuffed?
    Fear of losing someone else ultimately. His family is really the only family (asides from my sister) that I currently have. Doesn't justify anything, I know. But it's just scary.

  8. #96
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    Huge huge hugs to you.
    I'm so sorry that you are put in this position at such a difficult time.
    I'm also sorry that your husband is not being supportive or helpful and that he is being such a bully.
    Regardless of what he says, you have all the power here. Allow yourself to have that power and to embrace it. Do not let him or anyone else bully you into something you don't want to do.
    I think that if you aren't absolutely 150% sure that you want to have an abortion, don't make the decision yet. You can't take it back if you go through with it.
    I am a firm believer of "things happen for a reason" and "what will be, will be".
    Please do not let money be the deciding factor. We were not in a financial position to have a second child but I decided that I wasn't going to let money (or lack thereof) get in the way of my perfect family. As fate would have it, I unexpectedly had twins. It is a massive struggle for us financially but I wouldn't change my kids for the world.
    There is nothing like the unconditional love between parent and child. If you believe in your heart that you can make it work (with or without your husband) then I think you should give this child a chance and you should give him/her all the love you can give and they will give it back to you ten fold.
    Remember, only YOU can make the final decision, and YOU need to be happy with your decision.

    *** "Daddy, toast, hat" ***

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  10. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by brimm View Post
    Fear of losing someone else ultimately. His family is really the only family (asides from my sister) that I currently have. Doesn't justify anything, I know. But it's just scary.
    It must be hard. I can only encourage you to listen to your heart and know what you and your bub will make a great team and you can do it without anybody else xxx

  11. #98
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Quote Originally Posted by misscheviuz View Post
    Huge huge hugs to you.
    I'm so sorry that you are put in this position at such a difficult time.
    I'm also sorry that your husband is not being supportive or helpful and that he is being such a bully.
    Regardless of what he says, you have all the power here. Allow yourself to have that power and to embrace it. Do not let him or anyone else bully you into something you don't want to do.
    I think that if you aren't absolutely 150% sure that you want to have an abortion, don't make the decision yet. You can't take it back if you go through with it.
    I am a firm believer of "things happen for a reason" and "what will be, will be".
    Please do not let money be the deciding factor. We were not in a financial position to have a second child but I decided that I wasn't going to let money (or lack thereof) get in the way of my perfect family. As fate would have it, I unexpectedly had twins. It is a massive struggle for us financially but I wouldn't change my kids for the world.
    There is nothing like the unconditional love between parent and child. If you believe in your heart that you can make it work (with or without your husband) then I think you should give this child a chance and you should give him/her all the love you can give and they will give it back to you ten fold.
    Remember, only YOU can make the final decision, and YOU need to be happy with your decision.

    *** "Daddy, toast, hat" ***
    1000% this!

    Especially:

    Regardless of what he says, you have all the power here. Allow yourself to have that power and to embrace it. Do not let him or anyone else bully you into something you don't want to do.
    I think that if you aren't absolutely 150% sure that you want to have an abortion, don't make the decision yet. You can't take it back if you go through with it.

    Remember, only YOU can make the final decision, and YOU need to be happy with your decision.

    My personal rule of thumb for any MAJOR decision is that unless I am 1000% sure of my decision, I do nothing until I AM 1000% sure, and the answer always comes, it can take a little bit of time, but it always comes eventually.


    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 29-05-2014 at 12:51.

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  13. #99
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    I remember what I was like before I had any kids, I was as materialistic and plan-filled as anyone, and MOST people are like that before they have kids, as they have no-one else to be responsible to.

    I can really clearly hear the mind whirlings going on for you, and it sounds very chaotic and scary.

    If you wanted to, you could try just finding a really quiet place, and steadying your breathing, close your eyes and just talk to this baby. Be there with this baby, as really, it is the two of you who are in this.

    See what drifts into your consciousness, just listen. Imagine, daydream, see how you feel without outside cacophony.

    Take care. You have all the answers.

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  15. #100
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    I'm so sorry you are in this situation. How horrible for you to have to decide between them (even if he does seem like a total *** to us)

    I hope you can work through this with him and that he comes around and can see how much he has been hurting you.

    Good luck


 

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