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  1. #1
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    Question What expectations do you have of you child?

    Morning

    Just wondering what expectations you have of your child school work wise? This is mainly for children in later primary school e.g year 4.

    I am just wondering if I don't expect enough I guess. I have always been conscious about not putting pressure on DD, but now I am wondering if I haven't been expecting enough.

    Any thoughts, ideas, opinions?


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    Hmmm I generally just go by how the teacher is feeling, if my son is keeping up with his work well, and completing assigned homework, and the teacher is happy, well I'm fine with that.

    Can you be any more specific?

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    DD struggles with maths and has been putting a lot of effort into doing extra maths at home with me. Her teacher is really, really happy with her progress in maths.

    But.....I am wondering if it is coming at a cost to other things. I think DD is starting to the just the minimum with other areas of school, and that minimum isn't even her best e.g messy spelling and handwriting.

    I guess I am worried that she is not putting in 100% effort in some areas of her schooling.

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    Do you mean school work or homework? If it's homework then I would probably take a little step back on the maths and make sure all work is given enough time to be to a decent standard/effort.
    If it's work at school, I'd maybe talk to the teacher about it.

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    My children are only in reception and year 1. My expectations are more then all the other parents i have found. My children do all their spelling and readers every night so that they get the repetition for the end of the week at least 3 times with each concept and word. We also do extra activities which i print off if i see they are struggling in any areas. My children are the only children in their classes who even do the minimum homework set but i am setting them up with a good base for further years of schooling.

    We also have academic incentives set up. When my children learn all their times tables up to 12x12, they receive $50. When they reach level 10 readers, they get their first comic book. ect

    At school, I will not settle if they do not put in their own personal best. My son as learning difficulties due to Autism but as long as he is working to the best of his ability, that is all i can hope for.
    Last edited by Maxwell's Silver Hammer; 26-05-2014 at 12:46.

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    It's tricky terrain. I have fairly high expectations I guess but I keep them realistic. Like most parents I like to think my wee ones are clever little soles with lots of potential. I want them to have fulfilling lives and there is an expectation that they should go to University when they finish school. I suppose this expectation was also a part of my childhood. However I certainly never felt pressured.

    Like Cherlee both my DD's have struggled with maths. I have my theories as to why this is the case ie lack of explicit instruction and spiral maths as opposed to mastery. I took them to Kumon for several months (had to leave as couldn't afford when hubby lost job) and now I tutor them myself at home. My once failing eldest is now one of the top of her class! So I suppose I don't really except a fail or D mark on the report. Anything C and above is fine. If they are failing then something is wrong. Since the school did nothing to help I took the bulls by the horns.

    I think having high expectations are a good thing. Your kids will realise that you value education and you believe that with effort they can succeed. If you consistently tell them it doesn't matter how you do at school then this gives them a message that you don't care one way or the other. However, I don't think you should push and push and make their whole world centre around academics. I take a keen interest in their school day and I'll intervene if they are having trouble in a particular area. They are so proud of themselves when they do well and that is a good thing...

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    I am going to come back and reply lol busy times at the moment.

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    Cheerilee I can not say definitely what is going on with your daughter with maths however if she does not have a learning disability and is consistently doing poorly, doesn't know her addition/subtraction or her times tables I blame that on the teaching methods of the school and a thing called spiral maths where a concept is introduced briefly but never given time for consolidation. Also are the teachers at your school using explicit/direct instruction? The trend at most schools for decades now has been away from the teacher teaching and expecting the students to "find" answers using different strategies. Often this can be very confusing for those who are already a bit anxious about maths. Back in grade 2 my youngest DD got so confused she couldn't add one plus one. In other words they try to introduce to much material to quickly and to many strategies and don't check for understanding or mastery.

    Can I recommend a mastery program. I took my daughter's back 2 years and started from scratch. What they really needed anddidn't have was automaticity in relation to maths basics. Kumon does this or you can buy Kumon books or other mastery books.

    I used to worry too as to the extra work the girls were doing that was taking them away from play time. But it is only 1/2 hr per day and the pay off is worth it. My DD's used to be afraid of maths and dread maths class. Not anymore. Now they can relax somewhat. You are doing the right thing by tutoring your daughter. She may hate it now but hopeful will thank you in the future. My DD's now say "I hated Kumom but I'm so glad you made us do it."

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    Quote Originally Posted by heated View Post
    I think having high expectations are a good thing. Your kids will realise that you ... believe that with effort they can succeed. They are so proud of themselves when they do well and that is a good thing...
    I really strongly agree with this philosophy, both for the development of kids and adults. My kids are little, so I don't have experience of school yet, but my background is HR, and I've done a lot of work on adult Learning and Development in the workplace. (Since having kids, I've realised that kids and adults are not so different in many ways!)

    Expectations (without too much pressure) send the message, "I know you can do it!" which I think we all need to hear sometimes. It really can be a vote of confidence more than a criticism, especially because your kids know that you love them and don't intend to put them down.

    I really think you're on the right track encouraging your kids to be the best they can be.

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    My expectations are high but not unattainable. I know what DS's strengths and weaknesses are. He is grade 2.

    I set him extra work at home. I ask questions about what he is doing and we go to the library once a week as well as do homework together so I can do mock tests (similar to the ones they do each week in class) and challenge him a bit more. His homework is way too easy and when DS can race through 4days of homework in less than 20 min. It's clearly not challenging enough for him.

    He has always been bright and interested in school. But if there are areas that need work, we do so. He complains sometimes as to why I give him more than the other kids do. But I explain that if he wants to be an archeologist (his choice) that he needs to be one step ahead and do the hard work now so he can succeed later. Plus what's the harm in being good at something you put the effort into?

    I don't push, it's obvious when he isn't interested. He does just enough to be getting mid-high grades and I definitely don't get disappointed if he doesn't ace a test. We encourage and support him without criticism.


 

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