She's totally gorgeous
She's totally gorgeous
Wow! I was just driving home from work thinking I might start a thread about secondary infertility. We have DS who is 2.5 and have been trying for 11 months. We were about up start iui next cycle but have decided to let things be for a bit. We are considering our life as just the 3 of us.
FWiw OP I'm trying to focus on what's right for us with just having 1 child, rather than focussing on what's disappointing about it. Over the past 5 days the idea is beginning to settle in with me. Tbh I'm seeing a psych about this and part of what he has asked me to do it talk to other people who have only one child or who have chosen to not have any children. Part of processing it for me has been about a mental shift of what "the plan" was or the constructed rules of what I thought my family was going to be and to explore another alternative - what opportunities does this open up? What might we do differently?
I'm sorry you're having a rotten time with it
I was looking at the possibility of just having DD and found it really hard to come to terms with it. Time was making it easier but it was still not easy (instead of being in hysterical tears multiple times a day every day, it was down to once a week/ fortnight).
I just wanted to say I was facing this prospect with DD at 4 years old and part of the grief was regretting not totally appreciating all the time I had with her already as I was always planning a second (why didn't I take more time off work, why did I return to full time work, why have I always spoken to her about having another baby, what time I have lost with her while I was going through grief and depression). At least knowing early you can make sure that every minute with your DD counts and plan your life as a family of 3.
I'm very lucky to now have a BFP (still early days but ) so it's now all a bit different for me but wanted to send my thoughts. After getting used to the prospect of us just being a family of 3 i have had such conflicted feelings about this pregnancy and how a sibling will detract my attention from DD. You just can't win.
What a chocolate covered beauty!
I am coming around to the idea that we may only have one child. I don't know when we will stop trying, it worries me. The last cycle really did my head in, it made me so unhappy, which is ridiculous seeing as I have everything, a loving partner and a gorgeous son. I don't know at what point to give up...... my 42nd birthday seems like a possible end point.
I hope things get easier for you @Zabella
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