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  1. #11
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    She's totally gorgeous

  2. #12
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zabella View Post
    It was my little girls Birthday today. Apparently 1 is the magic age when people start asking when you will have another.
    Overall, had a great day. Attachment 55353
    such a cutie. Hope you enjoyed her birthday


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    Wow! I was just driving home from work thinking I might start a thread about secondary infertility. We have DS who is 2.5 and have been trying for 11 months. We were about up start iui next cycle but have decided to let things be for a bit. We are considering our life as just the 3 of us.

  4. #14
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    FWiw OP I'm trying to focus on what's right for us with just having 1 child, rather than focussing on what's disappointing about it. Over the past 5 days the idea is beginning to settle in with me. Tbh I'm seeing a psych about this and part of what he has asked me to do it talk to other people who have only one child or who have chosen to not have any children. Part of processing it for me has been about a mental shift of what "the plan" was or the constructed rules of what I thought my family was going to be and to explore another alternative - what opportunities does this open up? What might we do differently?

    I'm sorry you're having a rotten time with it

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    We are about to end our Ivf journey with one miracle baby. I expect it will get hard and get easy at times. In a way I think I would like somebody to tell me to stop so it wasn't my decision, but at the same time to have it taken from you would be hard. I keep looking at the positives of 1 child and try not to think about missing out on 2. Big hugs, glad you will be around for your dd and she won't risk loosing you for anything.
    I totally understand not wanting to make the decision. That's what I'm grappling with. How hard do you need to try to be ok with it..

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    I was looking at the possibility of just having DD and found it really hard to come to terms with it. Time was making it easier but it was still not easy (instead of being in hysterical tears multiple times a day every day, it was down to once a week/ fortnight).

    I just wanted to say I was facing this prospect with DD at 4 years old and part of the grief was regretting not totally appreciating all the time I had with her already as I was always planning a second (why didn't I take more time off work, why did I return to full time work, why have I always spoken to her about having another baby, what time I have lost with her while I was going through grief and depression). At least knowing early you can make sure that every minute with your DD counts and plan your life as a family of 3.

    I'm very lucky to now have a BFP (still early days but ) so it's now all a bit different for me but wanted to send my thoughts. After getting used to the prospect of us just being a family of 3 i have had such conflicted feelings about this pregnancy and how a sibling will detract my attention from DD. You just can't win.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I totally understand not wanting to make the decision. That's what I'm grappling with. How hard do you need to try to be ok with it..
    We have a plan. We have done 5 stims, changed to my younger sister for eggs and we will do 2 more stims, one with fresh sperm and one with frozen then I will be 40 and we really will have tried our hardest and I will be totally spent and ready to get on with life and reclaim my body back from 7 years of Ivf,

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    What a chocolate covered beauty!

    I am coming around to the idea that we may only have one child. I don't know when we will stop trying, it worries me. The last cycle really did my head in, it made me so unhappy, which is ridiculous seeing as I have everything, a loving partner and a gorgeous son. I don't know at what point to give up...... my 42nd birthday seems like a possible end point.

    I hope things get easier for you @Zabella


 

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