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  1. #1
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    Default Unable to have another (2nd) child.

    It looks like I will be unable to have a second child. I was about to start a frozen IVF cycle next month (have 2 frozen embies) but Neurologist has said no. (What he actually said is that it would be Russian Roulette to get pregnant again, as I would be at severe risk of stroke) I am just a little heartbroken, and wondering how others came to grips with this.
    Trying just to focus on my beautiful DD and her 1st Birthday this week.

  2. #2
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    No advice, but so sorry to hear this.
    It would be a tough thing to hear.
    But also wonderful that you have Drs that can give you this warning; how devastating it would be for that gorgeous little girl (you profile pic!! What a cutie!!) to loose her mum.
    Take the time to grieve. Take care xx


    DH (34) Me (30)
    DS1 (8) * DS2 (4)
    ❤️ My Family ❤️

    Egg donor 2012

  3. #3
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
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    so many

    It is hard. I wont lie and say you get over it quickly, you dont.

    I was about to start IVF for no 2 when I was told I couldnt ... it was incredibly heartbreaking.

    Watching the other mums from playgroup etc having 2nd and 3rd babies was soooo incredibly hard. I just ached all over and cried so many tears for the sibling my DD will never have.

    BUT

    Its been 6 yrs now ... and it does get better. I appreciate her so much more - just cherish every minute. And I do appreciate the little things that we wouldnt be able to do with more kids.

    You do learn to live with it. It does get easier.


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    We are about to end our Ivf journey with one miracle baby. I expect it will get hard and get easy at times. In a way I think I would like somebody to tell me to stop so it wasn't my decision, but at the same time to have it taken from you would be hard. I keep looking at the positives of 1 child and try not to think about missing out on 2. Big hugs, glad you will be around for your dd and she won't risk loosing you for anything.

  5. #5
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    yep @lilypily I totally agree. The one thing I was glad of was that it wasnt our decision.

    There were no recriminations or blame ... no fights or 'should we do one more cycle', no resentment against each other. It simply wasnt possible ... and there was no hope. I could put that out of my mind and just move on.

    It sounds awful to say there being no hope is better - but it definitely was.

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    I would dearly love a sibling for DS but after 6 stim cycles it is just not happening for us. I would like one more go but DH doesn't want to put me through it all again. I'm absolutely heartbroken and worry so much for him. He has a very small family - no cousins, one Aunt/Uncle, one grandparent here in Australia and his other Grandparents in the UK. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks last June and I cry every day for that loss. We are looking into adoption but realistically I am not sure how I feel about it. I worry that I wouldn't love the child the same as I love DS.

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    Triffle if you want one more go then I think you should. It needs to be a decision you are happy with and can live with forever.

  8. #8
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    @Truffle

    I think that is why it was a bit easier for me (and zabella as well). We didnt have to make that decision.

    Its so hard

    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 26-05-2014 at 11:12.

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    @lilypily Finances are also an issue. After 6 stims the barrel is low. We decided that I was going to be a SAHM for DS as it took us so long to get him. I didn't want to miss a minute of him but it means we are not as financially solvent as we were.
    @KATIES MUM. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if our FS said not to bother. She kind of dies then says you just never know when you will find the good egg!

    It's so so hard. I don't wish this on anybody. It's heartbreakingly cruel.

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    It was my little girls Birthday today. Apparently 1 is the magic age when people start asking when you will have another.
    Overall, had a great day. ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1401266454.178175.jpg
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 28-05-2014 at 19:07. Reason: pressed edit instead of reply. sorry


 

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