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  1. #1
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Default Supporting a child in grief

    My mil is sick in hospital and whilst she could rally, she is in such a bad way I'm not sure she will make it. This is my dd's only grandparent. She is 4.

    Tell me how to help her through this. Please.

    At the moment she only knows nanna is in hospital and not doing very well and the doctors and nurses are giving her extra special help.

    Any pointers appreciated. Dd has never had someone die before, not even a gold fish. I wish we had had a gold fish.

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    I haven't experienced this myself and I'm so sorry to hear your MIL is not doing well. Your poor DD.

    My uncle is only a few years older than my eldest brother. His son was 5 when our grandmother died. They were very close. My uncle was completely honest with my nephew and just helped him through his grief.

    They built a garden in their backyard called 'grandmas garden' and planted many flowers in it. They also made a big pond and a chair for my nephew to sit on so he could think of his grandma. My nephew is 8 now and goes to the garden all the time to cut flowers and takes them to grandmas grave.

    I hope you find what's right for your DD. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Good luck OP.

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  4. #3
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Thanks. I love the garden idea.

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    This is a photo of his garden.

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    My DD1 was 5 when my mum passed away. We were honest with her and gave her a framed photo for her room as well as letting her choose one of Mum's ornaments to keep. We did the same with DSD who was 6 and DSS who was 4. We encouraged them to talk about their feelings and to remember her.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Mil is an unpublished writer and she wrote a story which she dedicated to dd about a grandpa dying. I think she had hoped it would help dd when this time came. She had ordered a couple of bound copies which will probably be at the post office for collection. I don't think she was anticipating they might be used for dd so soon.



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    My dad died when DS was 5. We were truthful with him that Pa was old and sick and his body was ready to stop working. We are Christians so DS already knew about heaven. We bought a beautiful book about heaven which he found comforting. DD was only 2 but we talk about my dad most days (he's been gone for nearly 3 years) so a memory has been made for her. It was tough at the time but we found honesty worked and we just allowed him to grieve in his own way.

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    I haven't had to support my own child but as a teacher, you occasionally come across this issue. There are some great picture books about grandparents passing away-in particular one called Grandmas Shoes

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    I had an uncle die when I was 8 years old. My parents that he was sick. I only found out the whole story in the last couple of years.

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    When I was about 6, my mum's ex MIL died. She was the closest thing I had to a grandmother, and it was a big loss for me. My mum was open and honest with me, which I think helped a lot. The only thing I remember wishing had been different, was that I would have got to spend more time with her. I got to see her once while she was in hospital. I have no idea whether more would have been possible, but I would have loved to see her more before she died.


 

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