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  1. #1
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    Default 4 year old girl and concentration

    Hi,

    Not sure where to put this but my 4yo girl seems to find it hard to concentrate and as a consequence is finding it hard to fit in at kindy. It is like talking to a brick wall sometimes, not concentrating on what we are saying to her. She is still trying to learn how to wipe her bum properly after she does a poo and is coming home from kindy with poo in her undies. And is finding it hard to even doo poos but thats another story.

    Eg we tell her that it will dry up and stick to her bum if she just sits there and plays with the toilet roll etc but she will have no intention to be quicker. She just cant seem to understand what will happen if she doesnt do it right.

    That goes for anything... she cant take in the consequence of things if they are done incorectly. Even getting dressed after a bath we know she can do it herself but insists we help her with it with a nasty screem to boot. Next time im gonna tell her to get dressed herself and dont come out of her room till she is dressed. She is very easaly distracted.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like normal 4 yr old behaviour to me. The part of the brain the understands consequences is underdeveloped in young children so they aren't especially good at understanding consequences in a practical sense, unless of course it is something that stands out like something fun or something bad and I guess poo is not very interesting, well not enough for her to really care too much about it.

    I would jut try to reinforce as you are doing that it is important to do as you say and eventually she should get it.

    We have time each day where we do puzzles and games to help improve my 4yr olds attention. She has come along way over the last yr but still wanders off at times.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Stepwise; 21-05-2014 at 20:53.

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    Bubbles10  (22-05-2014)

  4. #3
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    I forgot to add that we got a call from her kindy teacher to ask us in for a chat about her as they are concerned about her general devolopment. They are saying she hardly does things for herself and has to be supervised to make sure she eats her lunch. She has a really bad eating disorder. like a phobea of trying new things. She will tell us she doesnt like it and she hasnt even tried it! Im side tracking abit now but i just want advice on how to get her to do what she is told without making a fuss. She is very single minded and stubbon and we hate hearing her screem for not having her own way.

    So is it ok to let her screem it out? Threatening her with no ipad doesnt seem to help. if she doesnt want to do it, she wont no matter what we say

  5. #4
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    There's a great technique in a book called "1,2,3 magic" to help with combating negative behaviours, maybe try to use some of the approaches in there - it is only a short book and worth the read. Most of the psychologists I have spoken with recommend it.

  6. #5
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    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Have you had her to your gp or pedi with your concerns?
    I have boys with asd and sensory issues and a daughter with anxiety possibly adhd (waiting to see the pedi about that one) and hose things are something I would have a closer look into.
    They may be nothing, but if other care givers are noticing it's worth investigating.
    The food refusal sounds sensory. My son refuses food from just looking at it.
    I have had to let my daughter scream it out more times than I can count. She's 7 now but started with interesting behaviour at two. Taking things away from her doesn't motivate her either, it never has.
    Mentally she is very smart and gets straight As for school, but emotionally we are still having a really hard time, so I understand where you are coming from.
    Good luck, hope you can find some help understanding what she needs.

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    Bubbles10  (22-05-2014)


 

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