DS ws 3.5 when I had DD and I found it really hard too!
- Whilst your DH is at home make sure you have a shower every morning. When he goes back to work can he mind bubs whilst you have a shower? It does wonders for the soul!!
- Take a walk each morning with the kids, even if it is only just around the block. Fresh air, sunshine and a bit of exercise is very theraputic. If the day goes pear shaped from there at least you've managed to get some exercise for you and DD1.
- Have stashes of activities on hand. Examples:
> Big box with playdo (just wrap it in cling film in between times) and some playdo toys. I keep a box in the kitchen.
> Activity / sticker books.
Don't be afraid to put ABC2/DVDs on. I did play things in the morning and quiet/TV things in the afternoon because DS was feral from a bout 2pm onwards although he refused to nap.
Have DD1s lunch and snacks pre-made so you can just grab them from the fridge when needed.
I found it really helped when I got into a weekly routine. DS went to kindy 2 days a week, we did playgroup one day, swimming lesson another day etc. DD was so demanding as a newborn (well, for the first year or so really) I felt like I was neglecting DS so much. I remember one night I was crying about this and when DS was asleep in bed I climbed into bed next to him and just cuddled him.