+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    4,953
    Thanks
    3,680
    Thanked
    1,949
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Help me cope as a new mum of two

    Dd2 is 6 days old and dd1 is 3.5 I cant believe the shock its been going from one child to two and having a newborn while having a pre schooler to look after as well. The lack of sleep and recovery has been awful but trying to adjust to the demands on me has been really tough. Im breastfeeding but already having to express one side from same issues i had with my first and mainly feed from the other so thats rrally time consuming too. Im lucky to have time to go to the loo or shower.

    Dh is off work for another two weeks and its chaos even with him here. Im so short with dd1 who wont leave dd1 alone and is being naughty alot of the time ( I know its really hard on her too)

    Basically I just need some tips on how to cope and even remotely keep on top of things.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    3,532
    Thanks
    1,313
    Thanked
    1,390
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    First of all, it will get easier.

    Secondly, don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's ok to take a few shortcuts while you adjust. Have eggs on toast for dinner, pop DD in front of a kids movie after lunch while you rest etc.

    You've probably seen it suggested a lot before, but a box of special toys/stickers/playdoh can be kept up high and brought out at desperate times. That way DD1 feels special and you have some time to feed, settle or express.

    Your bub is only so new, you will adjust.

    Congratulations by the way!!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to OurLittleBlessing For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    175
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked
    22
    Reviews
    0
    Subbing, I have a 4wk old and almost 3yr old.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    487
    Thanks
    321
    Thanked
    266
    Reviews
    0
    It's a shock to the system isn't it!! I agree that it does get easier!! I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment. DS1 was 22 months when I had DS2 and I felt totally overwhelmed at times, especially in those first 6 weeks. I prob did the things that other Mums are 'anti' but I don't care - anything to get through it. I used the swing or fed to sleep and probably used the TV too much for DS1. I found my hugabub a godsend as well. It's all a bit of a blur now. Good luck and take care of yourself.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Star Light For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014),Jontu  (19-05-2014)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    31
    Reviews
    0
    It will get easier!! you are doing a great job.

    My second child is now 6 months but when he was born my first was only 15 months and i found the first two months very draining. BUT knowing it wont last forever does help.

    a few tips
    - find whatever your older DD is interested in and use it TOO much. My daughter has just discovered the wiggles and for the first few weeks after my husband went back to work- she watched way too much of it, but it helped us all get through the day.
    - try and keep your older DD to the same nap/bedtime routine so you at least know what time your day ends with her.
    - I found those first weeks when my husband was home, that he virtually took over all care of the older child. my daughter loved hanging out with daddy, they would go out to the park, playdates together and give me time with just the baby to rest and relax.
    - use your slow cooker- i always popped dinner in the slowcooker in the morning so by he afternoon when everyone was tired it was ready to eat.

    the first part is tough, but you will get through it. Do you have family- Mother or MIL/ aunty/cousin who can come over and just play outside with your older DD, burn all her energy out in the morning so you can just let her play inside for the afternoon/watch telly.

    I found when it was time for my husband to go back to work, i was kinda ready for him to go. I wanted to find my own routine for the day.

    As the baby gets older it will get easier and when you see the siblings interaction, it will just melt your heart!

    Keep your spirits up.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to mandmbaby For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,726
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked
    479
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It will get easier. Have you got a sling or carrier? It was an absolute life-saver for me when DS2 was newborn - he was so happy and content when he was awake and he just slept when need be and I had hands free to wrangle DS1.

    Take advantage of DH being around and get him to focus most of his attention on your DD1 - take her to the park to burn some energy etc. and give you some time alone to deal with bub. Often this is a really tough time for older siblings and they will act out no matter what, but a bit extra attention might help her adjust.

    Try to forget about housework, and just do the bare minimum (or get DH to) to get by. We had lots of eggs on toast meals when DS2 was a newby. Sleep when bub does and try to go to bed early to get as much sleep as you can (at least in the next couple of weeks while DH is home to watch DD1 while you sleep.)

    Hang in there and just do whatever works to get you through these first few tough weeks.
    Last edited by decemberbubba; 19-05-2014 at 12:15.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to decemberbubba For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,756
    Thanks
    1,205
    Thanked
    2,112
    Reviews
    15
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It is so tough for the first few weeks something's I used to get us through were

    - Carriers. My hug a bub and ergo saved me! I could get things done while DD2 slept on my chest
    - TV/iPad. I had I feed/express a lot with DD2 as she was prem and a horrible feeder. I pretty much let DD1 watch as much as she wanted because I knew it wouldn't be forever
    - got DD1 special "feeding" toys that only came out when I has to feed DD2
    - If people offer help, take it! My mum did washing and cooked us meals, it was such a huge help
    - don't stress about cleaning
    - do you have anyone who could maybe take your oldest for a day? I know not everyone agrees with this but my parents or sister would take DD1 out for a special "big kid day", lunch and a movie or playground. Meant I could catch up on sleep or just relax

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Anjalee For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It can be very hard adjusting, I had 3 other able adults in the house but still found it exhausting!
    Things I found useful:
    Get some kind of cooking appliance that you can put on and leave, I use the slow cooker a lot and the tefal cook for me (it's like a clever pressure cooker).
    Cook when you can and freeze meals
    Get a real looking doll and some accessories for the oldest child, DD loves to imitate me and will repeat what ever I'm doing with DS with her dolly.
    Get the toddler involved, bring wipes, take nappy to the bin, bring bib blanket and lots of praise.
    Sticker books, coloring in books, videos, games on iPad always have a stock or backup so that when you're busy with baby you can pull out a new something for your toddler to do (doesn't have to be expensive)
    I got big tubs to put toys in, makes tidying up a lot easier.
    It does get easier!

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to ciaomamma For This Useful Post:

    debsch  (19-05-2014)

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    775
    Thanks
    595
    Thanked
    257
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'll be in a similar situation in a couple months - aaaaaaaah!! So thanks to OP for the question and thanks to PPs for the helpful replies full of practical tips!

  16. #10
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7,829
    Thanks
    5,045
    Thanked
    4,430
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/4/15100 Posts in a week
    Subbing, great thread!


 

Similar Threads

  1. How do you cope?
    By mrswatto in forum Parents of Multiple-Births
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-04-2014, 14:05
  2. How do you cope...
    By French Pear in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 18-01-2014, 08:31
  3. Can't cope - need to let it all out.
    By LysnDan in forum General depression and blues
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 10-12-2013, 20:57

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Super soft, fun prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton plus non-toxic wooden toys. • Hypoallergenic - perfect for eczema relief • Everything needed to shop for a baby shower • 10% off + FREE gift with purchase. Use code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
GymbaROO
GymbaROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. Classes are available Australia-wide. Enrol today & help your child to reach their full potential. Visit the website to find out more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!