I'm not even sure if that's the right term. Maybe we've just lost the spark and he doesn't love me any more. He says he does, and he's a good husband in many ways and I'm very lucky in many ways. But there's no emotional intimacy and precious little affection. One day I was trying to let him know how much I appreciated all he does to help with the kids, and he said it was his "duty". He works so hard, he never stops, and if I want to spend time with him then I have to work too, because when he does stop it's to sleep. He gets peed off if I try to talk to him in bed because it's sleep time. He's so incredibly focused on renovating our house that he can't see the damage to our relationship. He says it might take another 5 years to finish, and that there's no extra money to throw at it to finish sooner. But I can't take another 5 years of living with a polite house mate. He won't discuss it, he won't fight - he just gets upset if I try to push it and I can't bear to see him upset.
I'm in the process of organising counselling for us and I'm trying to keep it all together until I can begin to tell him how I'm feeling, hence the vent on here. I don't know if anyone here can help, I just need to let off steam I guess cos I'm at the end of my tether. It's partly my own fault because I haven't communicated how I'm feeling but he's so hard to talk to, he sits down and walls of when I try. Help!