DH and I have agreed to see a marriage counsellor after he screwed up our marriage by seeking people online for sex when out of town on a business trip last week. He says he didn't actually follow through and I have no idea whether to believe him. I only found this out today and am totally devastated. He appears very remorseful but I honestly don't know how I can see a way forward and ever trust him again. I can't believe he has ruined our family in an instant.
My question is whether anyone has any advice in choosing a marriage counsellor? There are a few in our area, but I need to make the right choice because DH has been to counselling before for work related issues and that counsellor was a validator and did nothing but tell DH that he was in the right and how to bring others down. I felt the counsellor was there to make DH feel better at that moment rather than looking at how DH could be contributing to the problems. I need a Dr Phil style person who says things straight up without skirting around the real issues.
I'd rather not say where I live, just would like to hear from anyone who might have some tips in choosing the right person.