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  1. #1
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    Default When do others decide to stop trying...

    ...to have another baby?

    I'm 37 next week and DS is 2.5. DH and I have been trying for 10 months. I have an appt with out FS on Monday. I had a lap 2 months ago and was told try naturally for 3 months and then iui.

    I guess now we are getting to the iui part and I'm wondering whether others who have travelled a similar road have made a time to let it go? How do/did you decide to do that? How hard do I try? I feeling pretty confused as to how long we go on for

    I know there are others who have been on a much longer journey than me also and I'm also wondering what has impacted your decision to continue?

    TIA

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    ...to have another baby?

    I'm 37 next week and DS is 2.5. DH and I have been trying for 10 months. I have an appt with out FS on Monday. I had a lap 2 months ago and was told try naturally for 3 months and then iui.

    I guess now we are getting to the iui part and I'm wondering whether others who have travelled a similar road have made a time to let it go? How do/did you decide to do that? How hard do I try? I feeling pretty confused as to how long we go on for

    I know there are others who have been on a much longer journey than me also and I'm also wondering what has impacted your decision to continue?

    TIA
    Good question, I'd be interested to read what people who have stopped say.

    I guess it really is a personal choice huh?.....you'd want to make sure that you are hands-down, 100% certain so that you don't wake up one day when you're like...47 (!) and think "duck! What have I done?!!"

    I started trying for my dd when I was 29 and finally had her a couple of days before I turned 32. I tried naturally for months, then with a fertility naturopath (and weekly acupuncture) for several months then booked in with a FS who diagnosed me with PCOS. I then moved onto 6 months of Metformin&Clomid and then was blessed with my dd on my second cycle of FSH injections with IUI and juuuust before starting IVF.

    We started actively trying (naturally) for our 2nd bub when my dd was 10 months old in January 2013 and finally booked back in with my FS in July 13 thinking "well....we know what works so let's do this!". Well...4 cycles of OI and 3 IUI's later found me finally pregnant....which ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks. Then miraculously I found I was 6 weeks pregnant again NATURALLY 6 weeks after that loss....only to be rocked with a second loss and a D&C at 11 weeks So last month was the only month we didn't "try" since Jan 2013 as that was the doctors order post D&C. Now we're trying naturally this current cycle and ready to start IVF next cycle.

    Sorry, I tried to make that brief but just to give you a little insight as to why I'm thinking I *might* give up and stop trying if I have another loss. As scary a thought as it is to me...I really don't think I could go on after going through all of that m/c saga again...specially after everything else I've put myself through to become a mom also....it just gets to be way too *much*. Another worrying thing is that my DH said he would most definitely want to keep trying even if we have another loss so....I really have no idea what would happen there if we're faced with that. How does yours feel about stopping??

    In hindsight, I can now reluctantly say that my "rest cycle" last month was actually very much needed as I'm feeling happier than I have in a long while and it let me at least *imagine* a glimpse of what it could be like if it was just the three of us. I've come to the conclusion that maybe my little 3-person family is fine and "enough" right NOW and in the next few years will be fine also but, when I think of us further down the track....it just doesn't feel like my family is complete. I really want to be a "foursome" for some strong reason? So.....onto IVF I go. For how long, I'll have to get back to you on that one..... Good luck in your decision!!!
    Last edited by Ladydee; 08-05-2014 at 10:44.

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    babyla  (08-05-2014)

  4. #3
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    Thanks for posting this question it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I have just turned 36 and have 2 boys 14 and 2 1/2 y/o. We have been trying for #3 for 16 months with no luck at all. I have had blood tests done and a HSG so we are now off to see a FS. I guess I never thought that I would need to go down this path as I have already been able to conceive 2 children without any problems.

    i have been talking to my husband quite a bit and decided that we are not ready to give up yet as we still feel that we would regret the decision if we gave up now and when i think about giving up now it makes my want to cry. So I will wait to see the FS and see what information and what options we have to try and get our BFP. I never imagined that this would be such an emotional road that we would have to travel to have a 3rd child and yes I agree sometimes I wonder if I can make it through another tww and think it would be easier to move on and be happy and content with the little family we are already so lucky to have. I can only hold onto the hope that one day we will be blessed enough to to get our BFP and if it doesn't happen that we will be ok and that we are lucky to have 2 healthy boys.

    Good luck with your decision

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    babyla  (08-05-2014)

  6. #4
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    Thanks for the replies and sharing of stories. We also conceived first go with DS so I guess this has been a bit of a surprise. I guess I feel that we have put things on hold whilst trying for another, if we decided to not continue then I would start pursuing life a little differently. I feel like I'm in limbo and have no control over where we are headed.
    @Ladydee DH is happy, he really doesn't yearn for another child. Although I have been feeling like I'd like another, I have spent today wondering what it might be like to just leave it and get on with things - it has kind of felt like a bit of a relief.

    It's really hard continuing and it's really hard not continuing - I have this awful voice in my head that rears it's head when I think of stopping - "you really haven't tried hard enough" - that's why I'm wondering when can I say I've tried hard enough? when is it ok to say alright we're done now? - these are questions for myself I know no-one here can answer it for me - just the stuff that goes around in my head...


 

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