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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling depressed and pathetic...

    This is such a great forum and I have found lots of great help on here. I have only just now registered with bubhub so I can ask for your advice myself as I feel like I am losing it.

    We moved to Australia at the end of last year with my husband's work. We live in Victoria but due to where he works have ended up in a further out suburb where I have slowly realised I have no friends here and didn't realise just how difficult it would be to try to start making new friends when you aren't a single in your 20s any more.

    I have 2 little ones - the oldest just started Prep when we got here and the youngest is 2 so no kinder or anything like that for a couple of years. I am clueless about all this stuff so have been learning as I am going along. I am so lonely here but I can't afford child care and we only have 1 car my husband needs for work. Although I love being able to stay home at the moment, I am starting to panic about this becoming long term and making no money to help our family. I am looking for evening work but it is so hard to find something that fits in with our lives.

    THe main problem is that since we have been here, our neighbours were really unfriendly and ended up being evicted for breaching their lease agreement. We hardly ever see anyone out and about as I suppose the way of things in the outer burbs is that you get up, get in your car in your garage, leave for work, come home straight into the garage and into your home without really having to even say "hi" or "bye" to your neighbours. YOu can literally see no one, just cars driving around for a long time. I am slowly becoming an old hermit. I feel for my kids really.

    We do get out and about at the weekends when my husband is off and we have the car but I have also got out of the habit of driving as he always has the car and I am really scared driving here because people drive crazy, cutting you up, undertaking on the left, pulling out in front of you and then giving you the finger. I am scared when I have the 2 kids in the car and am worried the whole time now in case someone just pulls out in front of me. If they are not pulling out in front of me they are driving right up my bumper so I can't even see their headlights sometimes. Or I am blinded by their headlights from tailgaiting even if they could a) easily overtake or b) there is no one else on the road so why the need to tailgate me? Do I just need to get used to this? I have therefore stopped driving which is getting me nowhere (literally).

    The other problem is that now when I go to collect my oldest from Prep, I just stand to the side in the playground while some of the other mums chat to each other. I have spoken to a lot of other mums and dads in the past few months but my accent is quite strong and I find it embarrassing that I can't be understood and am losing my confidence to the point where I have almost stopped talking to anyone. What is WRONG with me????

    Please be gently with me - I have been really honest and I don't know what to do. Everything is getting on top of me. Everything is new - even the things that I thought would be straight forward become alien as everything is so almost similar but quite differnt.

    Sorry - I need to go now but I would love to hear from anyone who can even remotely relate to what I am venting about.

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
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    Hi

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Just a suggestion but have you thought about joining a Playgroup with your littlest one, they are usually based in schools or church halls and it only costs $20 a year to be a member. It would allow you to meet other mums and also would be great for your little one to play with other children. If you look online at Playgroup Australia and put in your suburb you will be able to see if there is one in your area, hopefully one you could walk to.
    It's terrible to be lonely, I hope you find some groups to join and make new friends soon. I'm not much use as I live up near the QLD border.
    Hope that info has helped 😊

  3. #3
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    ...
    Last edited by Blue Dragon; 01-01-2015 at 15:08.

  4. #4
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    Having young kids and that feeling of being stuck at home with them can be so isolating.

    To be honest, that is one of the things that drew me to bubhub (many years ago now ). that I could still be at home when bubs is sleeping etc, but chatting with friends, or asking questions or getting support about why on earth my baby wouldnt sleep ...

    to get that reassurance that it really is normal.

    Have you tried joining a local playgroup? you might be able to find one that is within walking distance?

    Have a look in the local area groups (here) to see if there is a bubhub meetup near you, or maybe a local group.

    Kids playgrounds are also a good way to get out without it costing a fortune. you can meet people just there for a play ...


  5. #5
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    Consider doing a defensive driving course - it will give you the confidence and skills to be able to deal and react with other drivers on the road. The only thing as dangerous as unsafe drivers are those too nervous and anxious to react to an unsafe driver.

    Where have you moved from? Perhaps look for a local community group geared towards people from your country, culture or who speak the same language. It's not the most ideal thing for integrating into Australian life, but I would imagine if its your accent that's making you anxious then socializing with people in your own language or won't have problems with your accent would help you get your confidence back to talk to the mums and school etc. They might also then introduce you to some of their friends and so on.

  6. #6
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    Are you in Melbourne.? Where are you from originally?

  7. #7
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    Hi there!
    Hugs. Im sorry your feeling so isolated. Its hard when you dont know anyone.
    I noticed your postcode is 3977, so is mine. What suburb are you in as this postcode is for about 9 suburbs

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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