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  1. #1
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    Default Help!!! Feeling so overwhelmed

    Hi I was wondering if anyone else is feeling overwhelmed with having children and if I can just chat to some people. I have 2 children a 2 1/2 and an 8 month old and I have gone back to work which isn't really a big problem need the money, but I can't seem to get anything done around the house Im falling behind in everything and I speak to my husband and he kind of understands but gets so tired himself he doesn't help, and our 2 1/2 is throwing tantrums and sometimes really makes life hard.
    Just wondering if other people out there have experienced this with there 2nd or 3rd, i am feeling like I should';t shut this feelings out anymore and so something about it

  2. #2
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    Do not shut those feelings out. Acknowledge them and be realistic. It's tough, particularly in today's society where it's almost a must too have two working parents. Gee, I have a 8.5 year old and a 3 month old and not working and also find it all very overwhelming. But this phase doesn't last forever and neither does the 2 year old tantrums, they just morph into 5 year old tantrums which are a completely different ball game!! Housework is not the be all, as long as your family has clean clothes on their back, are well fed and clean then you are doin ok trust me, one day you'll catch up on the housework, much to your delight, NOT!!! Does hubby help at all around the house?
    Last edited by Luvmyfam; 05-05-2014 at 11:39.

  3. #3
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    Thank you for replying, and the advice with the 2 year tantrums he does help when he can he has realised I am not 100% and is a little worried but with his job and sometimes working a lot he is tired as well and doesn't feel like doing much. I do get a little frustrated at times with that but I am trying to not let that bother me, and I know what you are saying about the housework I just hate having a messy house and hate not being able to get stuff done sometimes i go 2 weeks without washing my hair because i don't seem to get time, I know it sounds crazy but its true

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    Working with young kids is bloody hard! Can you look for short cuts to make things easier for you?
    Eg
    -get a house cleaner
    - quick meals eg slow Cooker, lite and easy, premade chicken Kiev you pop in the oven and microwave steam veg
    - have a family bath (if it's big enough ). Consider bath time your quality time with the kids and make the most of it (playing etc)

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    Can you write yourself up a realistic housework roster? Writing things down might make you ok with not doing certain tasks on certain days

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    I didn't work when my kids were that little, but I have a friend who has always worked full time and her kids are similar age gap.
    What helped for her to keep on top of life (and still does).
    She hired a house cleaner (may not be in your budget to do weekly, but what about once a month for two hours to do the housework you never get time for)
    Every Saturday afternoon she does all the meal prep and makes meals for the working week. Her hubby would go and spend some time with the kids so they were out of her hair (now they're older so they all pitch in and help and it's a bit of family bonding time while getting the work done) and she'd make casseroles, sauces, crumb meat to freeze (that way she only has to cook it when she gets home), makes snacks for daycare/school/work, boils eggs for quick breakfasts, and she has those tupperware containers that keep things fresh for ages so she cuts up all her vegies (except potatoes), and has a container for each night of the week. That way when she gets home from work and it's witching hour it's literally a case of throwing everything in to a pan, or heating up a casserole etc. Also saves her time with the clean up afterwards, as there is no prep mess.
    Do you have an undercover area outside at all? If so put up a couple of lines and in the morning put your washing machine on a timer to be ready for 8pm, and then hang out the clothes of a night. Saves you time in the morning but allows you to keep on top of the washing. If not, hang them on clothes horses inside overnight, and drag outside in the morning.
    And shower your kids, save baths for weekends. Showers take heaps less time and you can put them in with you, get hubby to dry and dress them why you wash you hair.
    Order your groceries online if it's an option for you. We have a small white board in our kitchen, and as soon as we use the last of something, or see that something is low we write it on the board. That way when it comes to ordering the groceries I just look at the board to know what we need that week, but alternatively you could take a photo of it on your phone and use it as your shopping list for the shops...saves trying to find the time to write a list before you go to the shop, and saves forgetting things and having to go back.
    Hope these help, it's a phase and it will pass. It does get easier once they become a bit more independent.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Full House For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (05-05-2014)

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    Having young kids, working outside the home and trying to run a household can be sooo overwhelming and really bloody hard!

    I noticed in another thread that you think you might be suffering from PND and as someone who has experience with this, I really urge you to go and talk to your GP or even to your child health nurse about how your feeling and they can help you sort out a mental health plan (medicare subsidised) and that can really help to get you feeling more in control.

    In terms of the house, I find breaking things down helps to clarify things in my mind so maybe make a list of the five biggest things that you want to get on top of and encourage your DH to make a list as well and then sit down together and see if by taking small steps you can start to chip away at them.

    Another idea would be to hire a cleaner for a one off big clean up or if that's not financially viable, could you enlist a family member or two to help with a bit of a busy bee (you could cook them dinner or buy some takeaways dinner as a thanks) or even ask them to look after your little ones while you and your DH put in a day or weekend in getting the house in order (so much easier without little people under foot). I just find that once the house is put back into some sense of order, I feel 100% better and can manage to maintain it with just a bit of regular effort. When everything is on top of you, it's like looking at Mount Everest and it just feels impossible!

    I hope you and your DH can get some help and that you can start seeing some light at the end of the tunnel

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    VicPark  (05-05-2014)

  10. #8
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    Thank you so much to all of you who have given me ideas I really do appreciate it sometimes you feel like you are the only one going through this even though you aren't and not having a lot of friends with kids doesn't really help, I can't keep talking to my husband about this I feel like its all I do is whinge. I will defiantly look at getting meals ready like that I have tried but I am going to give it another go and yep showers is a great idea thanks so much


 

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