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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I think it's more the type of person you are more than luck really in regards to how you cope in a majority of cases.
    I found it quite ironic that I judged others for not breast feeding or not putting a little effort in to be able to breast feed when suddenly I found myself in the predicament of not being able to produce enough milk to feed my baby after trying everything to increase supply. Then again I found it ironic that I feel dread at the mere thought of having more biological kids because I was certain I wanted at least 4. But I feel comfortable at the idea of being a foster carer instead. I had big hormone issues especially after having dd2 that wreaked havoc with my emotions and coping mechanisms.

    I guess what I'm saying is some people can be very confident of their expectations because in the past things have gone accordingly but they are the same people who often crash and burn as a result of failed expectations. Then add a busy home life to that and before you know it you can't remember the last time you went for coffee or even spoke to another adult other than a dp/dh etc

    Quote Originally Posted by lemonpancakes View Post
    I met an older lady with adult children who told me she went through depression being a SAHM, and when she went through therapy she was told that adults need to interact with 7 other adults per day to feel connected, happy, human etc.

    The life of a SAHM can be very isolating.
    And this as well. That first year all you feel like your doing is eating, barely sleeping, and barely showering while trying to keep this little miracle you made fed, rested and content. Some people don't realize they have inadvertantly isolated themselves until they need to vent to someone and realize there is no one. That's when the loneliness begins.

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  3. #72
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    I've been a SAHM for 8.5 years now and the first 18 months were very, very hard. I'd moved to a small, country town, knew no one, DH worked long hours, DD was possessed and I was lonely, bored, desperate, suffering from PND. So, so hard.

    Now, I'm very content at home, I'm involved in running the business, two big kids are at school and the little dude is a happy chap. I'm happy with my own company, but I have a great group of friends that I've developed who I can catch up with if I want company, plus there's school helper stuff, after school activities, playgroups etc.... and I have to dialyse four times a day, so that keeps me occupied. It was quite a journey to get here though - lots of ups and downs!

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    I just had a year off work and while it was a great year for me and DD, my god was I lonely and became increasingly isolated and probably a bit strange and anxiety was starting to creep in, I think it was a combination of being an older mum who didn't know any older mums and my previous job which wasn't a popular one, basically I would find myself sitting next to a mum at play group that I had previously evicted ( small town) it's not a nice feeling, I just completely dreaded things like that.

    Anyway recently I changed up our whole lives, sold my house moved to a much bigger town and secured a job I am loving. It's really hard to be a SAHM unless you have a great circle of friends and family.

    Edited to say Bubhub helped me feel connected and in touch with other adult women, many thanks!
    Last edited by Mokeybear; 02-05-2014 at 20:12.

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  7. #74
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    I saw this and just had to share lol
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    Yep, especially when my other SAHM friends do things without me =(

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    Some of the issues that have been raised in this thread such as anxiety, no close friends, family not nearby, would perhaps haven existed to the same extend whether someone is working or not.

    I no longer interact with my colleagues or clients but as a sahm I have the same number of friends, in fact I have more and I still interact with my family to the same extent as when I was working.

    I know some people suffer from psychological illnesses such as pnd and anxiety, but if you put those cases to one side, I don't understand why being a sahm is isolating. There is so much more time to spend with friends and family once work is taken out of the equation.

  12. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    OP are you finding it tough? Just curious why you asked.
    Sorry I wrote it and walked set and haven't had the chance I sit down til now!

    To answer your question: no, not finding it really tough. I have always been happy with my own company- but myself and a small baby is a different dynamic- I can't do the things I want to do and the conversations are very one sided!
    I have always revelled in the hours my boys aren't with me, but today was thinking about how as the school year has gone on, I'm starting to miss them more. Never really experienced that before

    I guess it's quite hard to articulate, but honestly I was thinking a jumble of thoughts and looking at dd and realised I was a bit starved for people to talk to. I can't conplain though because df is home and in action (not sleeping off night shift) every 3 in 8 days + 2 more evenings, my mum visits every Thursday and as has been mentioned I do school drop off pick ups etc.

    I'll stop rambling because I'm not explaining myself well at all, but thanks for asking

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Some of the issues that have been raised in this thread such as anxiety, no close friends, family not nearby, would perhaps haven existed to the same extend whether someone is working or not.

    I no longer interact with my colleagues or clients but as a sahm I have the same number of friends, in fact I have more and I still interact with my family to the same extent as when I was working.

    I know some people suffer from psychological illnesses such as pnd and anxiety, but if you put those cases to one side, I don't understand why being a sahm is isolating. There is so much more time to spend with friends and family once work is taken out of the equation.
    You don't have to understand it. I'm not trying to sound snarky, but different babies have different temperaments, some babies scream ALL. THE TIME - not so easy to go and catch up with childless friends or have a coffee etc... plus sleep deprivation can often mean that you aren't motivated to have a shower, let alone put on clothes, leave the house and go and socialise.

    I'm glad that you are loving being at home but you don't live in anyone else's house and you don't know what their day to day life is like. Just because you have vast acres of time, it doesn't mean that everyone else does

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Some of the issues that have been raised in this thread such as anxiety, no close friends, family not nearby, would perhaps haven existed to the same extend whether someone is working or not.

    I no longer interact with my colleagues or clients but as a sahm I have the same number of friends, in fact I have more and I still interact with my family to the same extent as when I was working.

    I know some people suffer from psychological illnesses such as pnd and anxiety, but if you put those cases to one side, I don't understand why being a sahm is isolating. There is so much more time to spend with friends and family once work is taken out of the equation.
    99% of my friends and family work, so not working didn't mean I saw them more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Some of the issues that have been raised in this thread such as anxiety, no close friends, family not nearby, would perhaps haven existed to the same extend whether someone is working or not.

    I no longer interact with my colleagues or clients but as a sahm I have the same number of friends, in fact I have more and I still interact with my family to the same extent as when I was working.

    I know some people suffer from psychological illnesses such as pnd and anxiety, but if you put those cases to one side, I don't understand why being a sahm is isolating. There is so much more time to spend with friends and family once work is taken out of the equation.
    Because its not so simple to take it out of the equation. Being a SAHM mum isnt like that for everyone. Not everyone enjoys it all the time and thats perfectly ok.

    I suffered from anxiety before having children but never ever to the extent it is now. I dont have the option of just spending more time with friends. My son doesnt always cope and people dont understand. I cant just go out anywhere anytime I want to. routine and quiet down time is crucial to a happy household for us.

    It really isnt as simple as just separating the issues from being a SAHM. clearly judging by the responses in this thread that it's something many struggle with.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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