I get bored more than lonely.
I make sure we try get out of the house nearly every day and have joined an amazing mothers group and she goes to daycare one day.. So my week looks like
Monday- day care
Tuesday- mainly music then mothers group,
Wednesday- home day
Thursday- catch up with mates for a play date
Friday- swimming lesson
Try to take her for a walk in her smart trike 3+ x a week too
Dd (15 months) is happy to entertain herself at home so that's when I get bored lol. I try to think of activities etc for her but she loses interest quickly
No, I'm not lonely. I'm a loner. I have been all my life. I have social anxiety and it is really tough for me to make the effort to interact with adults. I just don't know how to do it. I have panic attacks if I have to ring someone. I much prefer to keep to myself.
I don't have that problem with my kids because I feel they are a part of me so I am totally comfortable with them and they keep me company.
I have never had any really close friends even as a child. I do sometimes wish I had a bff.
If it weren't for Facebook and Bubhub, I would never "speak" to other adults except my husband and my parents.
It is way too difficult and stressful for me to take 3 kids under 3 out on my own to attempt to socialise with people. I'm getting a bit shaky even just thinking about it.
*** "Daddy, toast, hat" ***
99% of my friends work or study, which means they are free to catch up with me at night time, when I am bathing , feeding and putting my dd to bed.
My partner works 2.5 hours away and commutes to work, we don't see him much during the week so on the weekends we spend the whole weekend having family time together.
I don't believe that the answer is as simple as you are implying. We all have different situations.
In regards to the OP, sometimes I feel isolated in the sense that sometimes I feel like I am 'just a mum'. Sometimes I feel as though I have lost who I am as a person because my whole life revolves around someone else. I think it's all about balance, I have found that putting my dd in day care two days a week has helped her thrive, but also given me the 'me time' I need to regroup. Even just getting a few simple chores or errands done by myself, being able to have my whole mind focused on the task at hand, being able to try on clothes or go for a shop without having to worry about a bored toddler, makes me feel like myself again. I think anyone who says it's easy all the time is lying.
I don't get lonely during go day, I find there is plenty to do...DS is a very busy & when he sleeps in the arvo I can get stuff done (I work from home for my folks but only an hourish at the most per day)
My hubby is FIFO so when he's away I'm lonely at night, but that would be the same if I worked or not.
It's been 10 years for me, and I've been through every emotion possible with regard to being a SAHM, a fair bit of it has been difficult due to isolation from family, PND, partner working away, and then being a single Mum. However there have been definite blocks where I feel absolutely blessed to be able to watch the boys grow.
It's been a massive learning curve, good and bad, and now I'm studying and transitioning back into part time work, and that feels a lot to get my head around, having been a crazy multi-tasker for so long, I've forgotten how to focus on one thing, and feel like jumping around like a flea, rather than hunkering down to study LOL.
I know some women who seem 'made' for being SAHM's, well, I'm not really one of them tbh, but I've given it a damn good try!
Last edited by MilkingMaid; 03-05-2014 at 15:48.
I did at first, but forced myself to go out and find new friends with kids etc. and that made life heaps easier. But then my third baby came along and he hated the pram, didn't sleep when out at all so would end up overtired and would scream for ages afterwards, and it also took forever for us to all get out of the house (as in three hours type of forever) that we started staying home a lot more and I got very bored with how mundane it all was. I'm no longer a SAHM because, after 7 years, I had had enough so threw myself in to a career to mix it up, but I never get to socialise because now if I'm not too busy studying or working I'm trying to make the most of the little spare time I have with my family so my kids don't just remember a mum who was absent all the time. A lot of the friends I did have as a SAHM I no longer keep in contact with at all because 2 1/2 years of working towards a career and never getting to see anyone outside of my immediate family takes its toll.
Yes, lonely and frustrated and bored. And then other days are fantastic and beautiful! Being a SAHM (at the moment), makes me struggle a bit with identity and the definition of me as something other than DD's mum. I've always worked in a high pressure job, chose not to renew my contract when I went in mat leave. Now I want to go and get a new job, but feel a bit paralysed...very anxious about returning. I feel like the constant busyness combined with the monotonous work and social isolation has made me into a less confident person. Anyway, I ramble, but yes OP, definitely do get lonely, but love it at the same time.
No I don't get lonely. I surround myself with some pretty awesome people and don't stay indoors much. But this works for me and my kids. I feel for people who find it lonely.
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