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  1. #1
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    Default Do I bring Husband to booking in appointment?

    Hi everyone,

    I'm booked in at they royal women's in Melbourne and will have my first "booking in" appointment in a couple of weeks. Mr snowman expressed interest in coming along but I'm not sure if he needs to be there. I've read in a couple of threads that some hospos prefer partner to not come, but nothing on my letter indicated that he wouldn't be welcome. I'm not really sure what happens at this appointment and if he would just be bored.
    Has anyone else taken/not taken DH to to their booking in appt? What do you think?

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    I think they often give a tour if the hospital then which would be helpful. It's his baby too I would bring him (I'm a solo mum so wasn't an issue!)

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    Ive just made my appointment at my hospital and the paper work stated that partners were welcome to come along.. I suppose if he is happy to go along then take him?

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    You will get a tour of the maternity ward and know where everything is. It's fair for your partner to go too.

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    I think this will differ from place to place. At my hospital the booking visit is a long chat with a midwife that goes over your medical history, family history, emotional history etc. It's a lot of answering questions and filling out forms so quite boring. They say partners are welcome but they will sometimes ask the partner to leave for a while so they can ask about any potential domestic abuse and feel that the answers aren't being skewed by the partners presence. There's an information session at another time and that's when we get a tour of the birth centre etc.

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  7. #6
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    My husband came to the booking in appointment both times. They involved him, it wasn't boring for him at all. He wanted to be involved and I wanted him there.

    Also, they asked him some family history health questions as well.

    If your dh wants to go, bring him.

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    Booking in visit is filling out your pregnancy health record. So taking you medical, obstetrics, psychosocial history and deciding your model of care (Midwives, GP, obstetrics etc) It's a lot of asking questions and filling out paperwork. There are questions that they'll ask that he can't be present for.

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    Depending on how many weeks you'll be, they might check fetal heart rate (usually over 14-16 weeks) and that is a nice thing to share with DH.

    As for the booking in, they will require family history from your DHs side of the family so it can be helpful to bring home along if you don't know much about his family medical history.

    There will likely be questions about domestic violence, history of abuse etc, so if these things are an issue, don't take him along. It's harder to disclose that info when the parter is either involved or doesn't know the history. (Plus we want women to be honest so if there are issues we can put in plans to ensure safety)

    They will also ask about previous pregnancies - including any terminations or miscarriages. If you've had either and DH doesn't know then again don't take him. (You'd be surprised how often this happens, particularly with terminations)

    All of these questions are routine and asked of every woman that is having a baby. Please don't feel like they think bad of you when they ask! If he does come along, they can as him to wait outside when they ask you those questions, but it's always a little awkward (I hate doing it).

    Many partners do come but it can be very tedious. We allocate 90min to each history/booking in appt and sometimes that's not enough when there are issues. My only advice, tell DH to only speak to answer questions related to him or if he has any relevant questions. When they men start answering for their partners about how their DP has been feeling (need to hear it from the horses mouth) or regaling the midwife with stories about his great aunts cousins nephews son who had twins etc, it can be very frustrating and hard to get back on track.

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    Dh came to mine with dd - for us it was just a lot of questions and he was asked to leave for a few minutes at one point whilst I was asked about DV but he was fine with that. I was given a quick check over so it was a nice thing for us to hear DD's hb for the first time together.

    We didn't have a tour (was at a birth centre so tour done prior to booking in)

    I have my first appt next week with the mw and dh won't be coming this time (nor will he come to my monthly appts until we get to the end). Its not because he doesn't want to, its more because we know what to expect this time.

    I would say for you both to go since he is wanting to be there with you

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    You won't get a tour at that appt at the Women's - mine was done during antenatal classes.

    I didn't bring mine - I'm pretty sure I was told they prefer partners not to come as they ask questions about your personal safety, etc.

    But of course he can come if you want him to. It's a long and boring appointment though!


 

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