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  1. #1
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    Default Choice, luck &

    How much of each has factored into the life you're living right now?

    For example, I chose to be a SAHM with DS and the plan was for me to return to work once #2 was sleeping through the night. Well nobody ever plans to have twins, so now through necessity I'm at home with them until they start school as daycare costs would make us worse off.

    Would like to hear others thoughts


    (Dropped the phone halfway through typing & it posted before I was finished!)
    Last edited by ChickyBee; 30-04-2014 at 14:07.

  2. #2
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    Both I guess. I returned from overseas 10 years ago with the intention to get a government job, find and marry a good man and have two kids as I felt that is as many as we can afford to have. All of this has come to fruition however like yourself if we had have had twins the second time round we would've been up the creek. All it takes though I suppose is for DH to pass away or the like and it quickly comes apart. We obviously have insurance for those sorts of things but they are things money can't buy.

    Having said that I do believe you make your own luck - no one is going to hand you anything on a plate.

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    It's a bit long winded. But how I met my husband comes from years and a long chain of chanced events.

    I left high school and went to a different one. Where I made a friend who owned a Livejournal account (Before Myspace) and the only way to have an account was to have a member code. (now it's free to all) This friend only had 1 left and gave it to me.
    I made a friend on there and caught a comment made by someone with a video game character I was heavily obsessed with. It was my future husband.
    By chance he was staying in Australia on a visa and was due to go back to scotland in a few weeks, and we were lucky to meet before he left. Falling in love.
    When he left, we both didn't think we would see each other again. But unknowns to him his parents were already underway in getting permanant visas into the country, and they were granted it 6 months later.

    Conceiving my eldest the same week we were told I wasn't able to get pregnant. Says plenty there.

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    I think a bit of both, mixed in with 'accident' concieving dd but I don't like using the term accident so lets say she was luck also.

    I chose to move out of home and in with a mate at 19

    By luck I met my dp, we lived in the same town but prob with our different lifestyles would have never crossed paths if it wasn't for our roommate moving out and dp moving in thanks to a flyer at the local shop.

    Our accidental luck brought us dd and further luck landed dp his well paying job which allows me to stay at home and for us to work towards our goal of owning a home......

    So mostly luck actually lol!

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    Both. We planned to have all 3 of our kids, and I went back to work when DS1 was 3 months old and worked nights so I could be with him during the day, also planned.

    Once DS2 came along I planned to take 12 months off and then go back. It never happened. DS2 was basically sick for the first 2.5yrs of his life, it just wasnt worth it to go back to work. He also has SPD which has made daycare something we're not willing to do.

    DS3 was planned, but before we found out about DS2's special needs. and I intend to go back to working nights after his 1st birthday.

    I absolutely adore DS3 and I wouldjt give him up for the world but if we had of known about DS2's SPD before we conceived DS3 we might have been a lot more reluctant to have a 3rd child, our life is insanely busy, hectic and sometimes its quite mentally draining to deal with it all.

    So a spanner was thrown in the works for us by the universe but ultimately its worked out well. We're happy with where we are.

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    Last edited by peanutmonkey; 30-04-2014 at 18:19.

  6. #6
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    Interesting topic

    Definitely luck plays an enormous part.

    Luck is both good and bad though :
    - I met DH very young
    - we had the opportunity to have 2 incomes and no kids for a long time, so got financial secure before having a family
    - once we decided to have a family, it took a LONG time ... and we only get one
    - I was diagnosed with Leukaemia, so cant have any more ... and working full time isnt really possible for me
    - DH is on a good wage, and because of working and general luck, we are financially able for me to stay home if I choose

    So yes, the choices we make (Uni, delaying having a family, marrying young etc), and the luck - good and bad - (getting a good job, babymaking issues, health) play a HUGE part in the life I have.

  7. #7
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Mostly it was choice.

    But i didnt plan on my children having special needs. That stops us from having the life i thought we would have. I thought i'd be able to return to work but it wont be possible for a very very very long time, which stops us from being able to own a home etc.

    Wouldn't trade them for the world tho.

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    Not a big believer in 'luck' per se... like when it comes to your life.

    I chose to get married to the man I did. .. it was all a choice. .our jobs/home/location... it was our choice to have a baby.
    BUT we didn't choose to have a baby with heart problems or a syndrome. I mean who would choose that? But she's amazing and worth everything just to see her smile.
    Of course. .. This has meant financial hardship..inability to return to the workforce etc. I didn't choose that.
    But I don't believe that's luck/unlucky. It's just life.

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    Loving the answers! Another thread got me curious about choice vs circumstance (which is a better word than luck for what I was thinking of) and I was curious as to how much of a role both had played in other peoples lives.

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    Bit of both. We chose to move here from UK and start a family. We were lucky (through sad circumstances) that my hubby got an inheritance that helped us afford to move to oz with visa costs etc.
    I was lucky enough to get a job in a school and year level I loved (and also luckily was able to work long enough to qualify for maternity pay!)
    We are lucky that we can afford to live on just hubby's salary but we choose to be frugal which keeps our living costs down,
    We were lucky to get some financial help that allowed us to have enough in our savings for a house deposit which we move into in June.
    My hubby chooses to do extra tutoring work which allows me to be a SAHM until DD is 5 and in school.


 

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