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  1. #1
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    Default angry!

    I had a traumatic birth with DD1 and seven years later, I'm still not over it. I am absolutely furious at the way I was treated, the permanent damage their negligence (kaleeya hospital midwives and obstetrician) has done to my body and mind, and I don't know how to get past it. After the birth they asked me, straight away, how it was. I said "okay i guess?" not really knowing and still recovering from this traumatic labor that left my daughter hypothermic and in an incubator, all due to their incompetence. When I complained later, they refused to listen to me because of that single sentence i said a day after I gave birth. In retrospect, I realize they do this on purpose knowing that it takes weeks or months to process a birth experience, particularly a traumatic one. I am so, so angry even after all these years. I once wrote a letter telling them I'd rather give birth on a roadside than in their hospital, which they ignored, but it's true.
    Does the anger ever go away? Trying to TTC has brought it all back.

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    *hugs* Have you tried talking to a counsellor about this?

    Tbh the only thing that healed me was giving birth again and it going the right way at a DIFFERENT hospital.

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    Hi Oliveaux

    I had a traumatic delivery with my DD1, and it took me 11.5 years to want another baby. I was terrified of having a delivery just like my first, but I discussed my fears all through my pregnancy with the Midwives so they knew my state of mind.

    It turned out that my second birth was totally different to my first! A polar opposite in fact. Find someone you trust to give you support and when you get preg, make the midwives listen to you so they can note on your file your past experience.

    Best of luck

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    thanks, my birth with DD2 was an amazing homebirth, absolutely perfect despite a long labor with a big bub and posterior. They were polar opposites, really. I think my anger is especially at the fact that what I really want is some recognition and an apology from the hospital (kaleeya hospital, never go there btw) but i know i'll never get it.

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    Hugs. You are right, you won't get an apology so you need to try and let that anger go some other way. I would definitely seek birth trauma counselling.

    I also requested my hospital records and reading through them helped me make sense of it all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Hugs. You are right, you won't get an apology so you need to try and let that anger go some other way. I would definitely seek birth trauma counselling.

    I also requested my hospital records and reading through them helped me make sense of it all.
    I think this is a great response. Best of luck Op

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oliveaux View Post
    thanks, my birth with DD2 was an amazing homebirth, absolutely perfect despite a long labor with a big bub and posterior. They were polar opposites, really. I think my anger is especially at the fact that what I really want is some recognition and an apology from the hospital (kaleeya hospital, never go there btw) but i know i'll never get it.
    No, you wont ever get it. My hospital actually blamed me and lied through their teeth about what happened. It made everything so much worse for me.

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    I do agree with kw. I had a traumatic birth with my first and requesting my notes was really helpful in helping me process what happened.

    Birth trauma really is horrendous, I hope that you are able to find some peace with what happened.

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    Exactly. However blaming the patient is not called for. How could i possibly be at fault for inadequate anaesthesia during a c section.

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    I got a written apology from the hospital, but it still felt empty.

    Have you had a look at the articles at http://birthtalk.org ?


 

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