+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    653
    Thanks
    817
    Thanked
    217
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default What just happened? Help me out!

    ...
    Last edited by Mummy Potato; 01-05-2014 at 10:20.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    7,053
    Thanks
    6,263
    Thanked
    5,481
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ending 5/6/2014
    Sorry hun but to me it seems like he is being unreasonable and controlling still. I really don't think in the scheme of things that you've done anything wrong.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to peanutmonkey For This Useful Post:

    Mummy Potato  (29-04-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,884
    Thanks
    3,044
    Thanked
    5,846
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Sounds like his issue is more about control than money, considering you are both pulling in a decent income.

    Maybe because he's made all the other decisions concerning the renovations he doesn't want you choosing anything without his opinion? Nevertheless, it's YOUR house too. Why should he call all the shots?

    I wouldn't apologise without knowing WHY he is so upset, as chances are he is actually being unreasonable. You tried to do something nice and he's gotten angry - he needs to explain himself.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,485
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked
    271
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Has his behaviour been 'off' lately? Has there been other issues cropping up or is this a sudden change?

    I only ask because I can kind of see this from a different angle. You said your DH is house proud so is it possible that your DH is just upset that he was unable to help choose the end product?

    Obviously if this was one of a few incidences then he's being unreasonable but if it really is a one off then I'd have a chat with him when he's calmed down and see of there's a compromise that can be reached.

    Just as an example, DH and I have needed a new fridge for a while and as a surprise- just last month - he went and purchased a fridge that was nothing like I wanted. I was pretty devastated when I found out (yes, 3rd world problem I know), anyway I tried to get over it but DH could tell I was sulking a bit so we went back to the store a week later, picked a fridge TOGETHER and re-ordered.

    Perhaps DH would agree to review the order with you so it's more of a joint decision??

    I feel bad for you OP, must be awful when you try and do something nice and it backfires

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to jade24 For This Useful Post:

    Mummy Potato  (29-04-2014)

  7. #5
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,996
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week

    Default What just happened? Help me out!

    There's no way I'd be following any such 'instructions'. Look, I'll admit it, I'm a bit funny about money. I used to get upset at 'my' money being committed to stuff without any communication about it (as I was the sole income earner and practically sole caregiver and housework doer). But having said that, in a dual income household, as long as expenses are being contributed to by both parties, then I believe what's left over is up to the individual to spend. I probably get a bit twitchy when I've been with people who spend most of their money on booze and takeaway, but...you are spending money on something that contributes to the household, and that you thought was a good deal and would be appreciated.

    This is definitely about control. Perhaps you could meet him halfway and suggest that you can discuss these sort of purchases in the future (or suggest a dollar amount that you BOTH need to clear with the other before spending), but that you're not sure what the issue here actually is?

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    822
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    147
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I agree with the other ladies this is definitely not about the money it is about the control, and I think it is extremely unfair of him to respond in such a manner to you.

  9. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    He's being unreasonable.
    Keep the venetians. 40% is a great deal... let it come out of your contribution to the household if he doesn't agree.
    Last edited by RipperRita; 29-04-2014 at 11:00.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,427
    Thanks
    497
    Thanked
    1,588
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Unreasonable and controlling. I don't think this is about the Venetians but more about the fact that you made a decision without him.

    I would not be cancelling and also would be having a sit down conversation about his behavior.

  11. #9
    LifeInShadesOfGrey's Avatar
    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
    Winner 2012 - Best Username
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    5,674
    Thanks
    2,052
    Thanked
    1,364
    Reviews
    35
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    He's being unreasonable.
    Keep the venetians. 40% is a great deal... let it come out of your contribution to the household if he doesn't agree.
    I agree, keep them.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    It does sound unreasonable to me.

    My suggestion?:

    You have done councelling before. Maybe when he gets home tonight explain that you do not understand where he is coming from - use the example about the granny flat or something like that. Suggest a "refresher" session to try and work this out as you think it is about more then the blinds.

    If it were me i would keep them but then every time you see them you will remember about trying to do something nice and the argument but if you guys can work through it then there will be better memories?

    Does that make sense?


 

Similar Threads

  1. So this just happened...
    By Vonnie89 in forum Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-02-2014, 08:57
  2. What happened when you used gas and air?
    By Kazza78 in forum Third Trimester Chat
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 03-02-2014, 18:06
  3. Well that's the first time that has happened!!
    By Theboys&me in forum General Chat
    Replies: 147
    Last Post: 16-11-2013, 10:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Be In Blossom
We offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a focus on optimising posture, body awareness, pelvic floor support, back care and maintaining fitness, aiming to assist women prepare and recover from their birth.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!