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  1. #21
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    I was going to say the same as wannabe, I'd be holding back on the 2 and 3 yr old, but would it work having just your 5yo go? Good luck with it, it's not the 'right' thing, but considering what you've been through, you've got every right to call all the shots. Xx

  2. #22
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    The decision is entirely YOURS as the day to day carer, just follow your instincts on this one, it is not as though there will never be another opportunity for the kids to go on holiday with their dad.

    I have 3 sons, their dad lives in Oz, we are in NZ, and he has been pressuring me to send the boys to him, I'm not comfortable with it, so the answer has been no thus far, he has to come here to visit them, and that's the way it is going to stay until I DO feel comfortable.

    I personally think 2, 3 and 5 is far too young especially considering the small amount of time they usually spend with their father.

    I would have absolutely no problem saying no to it. Follow your gut.

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    If your XH had more time with the kids - like 50/50 or even 60/40 maybe the 5 year old would be ok but I think they are all too young and you are their primary carer - 2 days a fortnight with their dad does not prepare them for two weeks away from their primary carer in another country meeting a whole host of strangers.

    My older kids are 8 and 6 and they wouldn't cope as they only see their dad every other weekend. My 6 year old gets upset when he goes for one week of the school holidays.

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    Personally, I wouldn't be allowing my kids that young go for so long (maybe the 5yr old if he didn't mind going on his own).

    2 & 3 yr olds that have only ever been with Dad for 2 nights at a time could struggle with that long away from Mum. But that's just for me though, all situations are individual.


 

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