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  1. #11
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    We chose to hyphenate. The only issue I have come across is some online forms don't allow the use of a hyphen so you just have to join the names together or leave a space.

    I personally have not had any issues with space on name forms etc with having what amounts to a relatively long name.

    Having both our surnames as the official last name was important to us, so for that reason I would personally choose option 1.

  2. #12
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    My partner and I both have long surnames with unusual spellings so we didn't want to give our children double the trouble by hyphenating or double-barrelling the surnames. As a result DD has my surname as one of her middle names and DP's surname as her last name. DS has DP's surname as a middle name and my surname as his last name. The more old fashioned members of my family are horrified, but we think it's a fair way to approach baby naming.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauzy View Post
    Yes and paperwork is a pain for her. Especially when her uni degree has both but she prefers one.
    Is it just because she prefers to go by one name that it becomes a hassle? Do you mind if I ask why she prefers one, is it just to have a shorter name?
    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    I personally have not had any issues with space on name forms etc with having what amounts to a relatively long name.
    That's good to know
    Quote Originally Posted by EvilWombatQueen View Post
    My partner and I both have long surnames with unusual spellings so we didn't want to give our children double the trouble by hyphenating or double-barrelling the surnames. As a result DD has my surname as one of her middle names and DP's surname as her last name. DS has DP's surname as a middle name and my surname as his last name. The more old fashioned members of my family are horrified, but we think it's a fair way to approach baby naming.
    Awesome approach, I love it!

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    Aren't they your children too? ...
    Off course they are which is why I wanted my Surname included in her name; however our cultural and religious norm is for children to have the Father's Surname and I was happy to continue that tradition as well as including something new which suited us both. At the end of the day you have to do what suits you and what you will be happy with.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    Is it just because she prefers to go by one name that it becomes a hassle? Do you mind if I ask why she prefers one, is it just to have a shorter name?
    She prefers her mother's surname. Her parents are separated.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    Off course they are which is why I wanted my Surname included in her name; however our cultural and religious norm is for children to have the Father's Surname and I was happy to continue that tradition as well as including something new which suited us both. At the end of the day you have to do what suits you and what you will be happy with.
    I get what you mean, I thought it was just a funny way of putting it It is a remarkably strong tradition! I'm actually a little surprised by how few women do pass their surnames on to their children, even as a middle name.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauzy View Post
    She prefers her mother's surname. Her parents are separated.
    Ah, thanks. This to me is a good reason to give both parent's surnames, even if both are needed for official papers it sounds like it would be easier to go by the preferred name for day to day things if it's already part of the official name.

  7. #17
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    I hated my hyphenated surname and don't think it would've been any different if it was double barrel instead. It was long, hard to spell when I was little and confusing to explain to people.

    However I was never given the option of using another name/just using one. It wasn't the norm when we were kids and I guess because my parents had the same surname it would've been a little strange for me to go by something different.

    DH joked that we should triple hyphenate our names when we got married. I told him I wouldn't marry him

    I am keen to give this bub one of my surnames as a middle name should it be another boy.

  8. #18
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    My DH's family name (the surname he was born with) was hypenated. And he hated it. It had too many letters and he was forever spelling it out *Jones HYPHEN Smith* for an example. Last year he changed his surname legally and dropped the first surname, so now he is only "DH Jones" instead of "DH Smith-Jones".

    I wouldn't go the hyphenated option. Anything but the hyphen!!

  9. #19
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    If you're ever likely to take your partners name then I would use your name as a middle name

  10. #20
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    Ooh more replies! I really should pay more attention when I start a thread :P

    Quote Originally Posted by shani2 View Post
    I hated my hyphenated surname and don't think it would've been any different if it was double barrel instead. It was long, hard to spell when I was little and confusing to explain to people.

    However I was never given the option of using another name/just using one. It wasn't the norm when we were kids and I guess because my parents had the same surname it would've been a little strange for me to go by something different.

    DH joked that we should triple hyphenate our names when we got married. I told him I wouldn't marry him

    I am keen to give this bub one of my surnames as a middle name should it be another boy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    My DH's family name (the surname he was born with) was hypenated. And he hated it. It had too many letters and he was forever spelling it out *Jones HYPHEN Smith* for an example. Last year he changed his surname legally and dropped the first surname, so now he is only "DH Jones" instead of "DH Smith-Jones".

    I wouldn't go the hyphenated option. Anything but the hyphen!!
    I really don't like hyphenated names either! We decided straight away against that but for some reason using a space in the middle still seems like an acceptable option. Maybe because it keeps the names separate so I perceive it as being easier to casually drop one if desired?

    Shani - your hyphenated name does seem marginally 'too' long, but it's the same number of syllables and only 2 letters longer than what I'd be considering, which isn't significantly different… hmm.
    (And it's a nice boy's name)

    And Cicho - that's a good point, he would have to spell it out every time. But both DP and I already have to spell out our relatively simple surnames every time anyway, so I'm not sure if this would make it twice as annoying, or only a little bit more since he'd have to spell something anyway! lol

    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    If you're ever likely to take your partners name then I would use your name as a middle name
    The more I think about it, I'm really not likely to. For me personally, I just don't see a reason to do so (social tradition isn't a valid reason for doing anything in our house)

    I really don't want to burden him with a long, difficult name but I'm also really apprehensive about choosing one name in case he grows up wishing he had the other. Grr why can't children just have nicknames and then choose their own legal name once they're adults!


 

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