I also think 123 Magic is great for learning how to set a boundary, and be consistent with it. It is primarily for stop behaviours - things a child can stop doing in 1-2 seconds (yelling, talking back, mistreating possessions). The behaviours that you mention are "start behaviours" - things that can take a while to start and complete. Dr Phelan (the author) also has what he calls seven strategies for encouraging good behaviour and these are much more effective on start behaviours than 123. I think that these are at the end of the book too but I'm not 100% sure. I know that there is a separate DVD with them on. You may be able to find the DVDs at library.