I haven't read it myself but I've taken aspects from it and used it on my 3yo DS. I ask him to stop or redirect between every number. If no improvement on 3 I put him on the designated time out chair. I explain why he is there and that he stays until he can apologise and behave nicely again. He usually complains and makes a fuss, I ignore it until he says he wants to say sorry. I remind him again why he was timed out and what I want him to do.
Seems to work well for us.
I haven't read 123 Magic but I have read another book aimed at parents of toddlers and found it made sense... It's Ok Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids by Heather Shumaker
Look up her blog and read some of her posts if you want to see her parenting style. If it suits you then I highly recommend her book.
And, re buying 123 Magic, I know our local library will get books in for you if they don't have it. You just need the title and author, and the ISBN is useful to them too. Maybe yours will do the same? Then you can 'try before you buy'.
Yeah I totally respect different parenting. It's just not for me.
It just seemed to concentrate on bad behaviour and being in control .. It is also fear based rather than making choices to be good .
What happens as they get older and they stop listening to 1 2 3. It never taught them to stop and think about what they did.
Of course jmo..
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Still mummy to Agnes Ronald and Beryl.
I'm a fan. When DS was smaller I found it really useful to have a 'strategy' that when things looked like starting to escalate into an arguement, I could take a deep breath and calmly start counting. It saved my sanity many times!
I found doing that also calmed him down in a way as he knew what the expectations and consequences were if I had to keep counting.
Mind you, it has only been recently that has usually stops at '1'. For ages he would keep the behaviour going until I got to '2' as he knew he had until '3' to start behaving!!!
Now DS is 5, we have adapted it a little bit. We don't really use time outs anymore but something more situation appropriate - ie taking away the toy he's teasing his sister with etc.
I'm a fan too. My 2 and 4yr old have responded well, abs as we started doing it at 2 with DD2 as she approaches 3 and her tantrums become more challenging the strategy is already something she is familiar with.
I can understand why some people don't like it, but I personally think that it helps to remain calm in myself as I too know just how far an argument will escalate, it removes the frustration and emotion on my part from the situation. Also as they know what will happen at 3 they learn to make good choices in stopping the behaviour which is undesirable. I rarely get past 1 with my 4yr old now as she chooses to stop most times. It takes time (months) to be truly effective but I think it is worth it. At the end of every time out I sit with them and explain exactly why they are there, get them to repeat it back so I know they know why and then we finish with a hug and usually an apology.
Thanks everyone for the replies! I'm going to read it and then go from there. I guess it's a book that you can take a little or a lot from so I just have to decide for myself. At this point I'm willing to try anything that will minimise the conflict.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!