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  1. #51
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    No it's not ok.
    I was cheated on by x-H and I still remember how I felt when I found out. It made it worst that I'd already given him a second chance.

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    Personally, I would rip them both to shreds!
    The DH/W would cop the brunt of it but there is no way I would let the other party just walk away all innocent it they knew the person was married in the first place.

    I'm pretty black and white but IMO they are both to blame.

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  4. #53
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    No. I get that life is shades of grey but I could not be friends with someone who thought it was acceptable to have an affair with a married/attached man, especially if there were children involved.

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    No. I get that life is shades of grey but I could not be friends with someone who thought it was acceptable to have an affair with a married/attached man, especially if there were children involved.
    I'm not so clear cut on this. Years ago my closest friend had a long term relationship with a married man. I hated it but we stayed friends throughout.

    It's definitely a sliding scale but if I ruled out friendships with people who didn't share all my moral judgments and values I'd have far fewer friends. I have friends who voted for Tony Abbott and quite frankly I struggle with that just as much.

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  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by summastarlet View Post
    I can't see how it's ever ok. If a person is married (or in a committed relationship) then they are supposed to be committed to someone else. Why on earth would you want to get involved in the complexities that this type of relationship would bring anyway?!
    Exactly. If you're not happy have some guts and end it rather than doing the dirty on the side. To be honest I think everyone involved is guilty, those who pursue a married person have no respect for marriage and for family, and those who are married and cheat (without their partner knowing or agreeing to an open arrangement) lack self control and respect for their partner.

    Often I think society has become way too self indulgent. "Do what makes you happy", at all costs? Even hurting other people? Sometimes people need to grow up and realise that it's not just about fulfilling your own desires. You do actually have the capacity to control yourself, it's not impossible.

    There are very few scenarios that are in the "grey" area, to me.
    Last edited by Justwant2beamummy; 25-04-2014 at 12:15.

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  10. #56
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    Question those who don't question authority
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    No. I get that life is shades of grey but I could not be friends with someone who thought it was acceptable to have an affair with a married/attached man, especially if there were children involved.
    I'm far less inclined to put energy into building a friendship with this woman due to this, my estimation of her has definitely dropped.

  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    It's definitely a sliding scale but if I ruled out friendships with people who didn't share all my moral judgments and values I'd have far fewer friends. I have friends who voted for Tony Abbott and quite frankly I struggle with that just as much.
    I get that life is shades of grey but having an affair with a married man who has children would be a charcoal grey on my scale. I've never been in this predicament (ie, having a friend who is having the affair) so I obviously can't say exactly how I would handle it, only on paper (or rather in binary) I would distance myself from them.

  12. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    I get that life is shades of grey but having an affair with a married man who has children would be a charcoal grey on my scale. I've never been in this predicament (ie, having a friend who is having the affair) so I obviously can't say exactly how I would handle it, only on paper (or rather in binary) I would distance myself from them.
    It definitely tainted our friendship. But did I cut her off completely? No.

  13. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    No. Absolutely not ever. There is only one circumstance that is ok - 2 seconds before it ends and that's when the woman doesn't know he's married!

    I found myself in a relationship with a married man in my 20's. I had no idea and when I found out I was not only devastated but sick to my stomach as it was against everything I value and believe in!! It ended there and then.

    Men who cheat and women who knowingly enable them are bottom feeders (and vice versa!)

    Sorry if that seems harsh but fidelity is a black and white issue for me.
    I was 100% with you.. until my bestie old me she had one with a married guy. Ill admit I judged her and I do sort of think less of her. . But we are still friends because she was experiencing some intense self esteem issues at the time and is very remorseful.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    When I was 15 I had a relationship with a married man that went on for a few months. I was just a kid really (not that that is an excuse!) he was 28 and he knew how to seduce me - flowers, expensive presents, so much romance etc. Now I'm older I think about his poor wife, he used to take me to their house when she was at work and...well you know. Strangely enough I spoke to him about 8 years later and he told me he divorced his wife when he caught her cheating! Big double standards there.
    Last edited by Just*Ace; 25-04-2014 at 12:54.


 

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