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  1. #101
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    I would blame the hubby... It's his responsibility to remain faithful. At the same time I would judge the woman as being a morally bankrupt tart.

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  3. #102
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    And I guess the title of this thread was 'is it ever ok to sleep with a married man' or words to that effect,

    So does that mean it IS ok for some people here? You think it's ok for another woman to sleep with your husband? It's ok for her to do it to you but not ok for your husband to be unfaithful?

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  5. #103
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    Morals? Hmm...I'd definitely prefer that my partner remained sexually faithful to me...as I have been to him, and on a personal level I'd be hurt, enraged and would like to think of the other woman as a "something, something tart" (whatever poetry VicPark used, haha)
    However, surely human relationships and people are way too complicated to reduce fidelity to a simple matter of morality...and that seems to be the only road that this conversation is driving towards at present.

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    Last edited by Albert01; 21-05-2014 at 09:29.

  6. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sairz View Post
    I went through the exact same thing at 16. This woman came over to our house to talk to my mum. Mum remained calm and decided to let her in. The woman explained her actions with something along the lines of 'we have needs' well my mum lost her **** and screamed at her that we have needs too, we need our family and kids need their father, get your needs elsewhere. And shoved her out the door again (I was quite proud of my mum cause she's usually very timid lol).
    It's made me pretty untrusting in life now ,though they're still together and we have all moved on. I don't know if I could forgive and move on if my partner did it, I couldn't live with the distrust eating away
    It really is sad how much it happens Good on your mum! My dads gf had the cheek to message my mum and say her marriage was over and that she made him happy so let him go...my mum was trying to get rid if him, he wanted to stay together for the kids. He is now married to her and while everything is civil and I have to be nice to her I honestly still feel like smacking her in the face. I don't care what anybody else thinks, in my story she can have just as much blame as my dad. Both tore their families about it in such an unfair and selfish way. Sorry if I sound narky but I guess this thread has hit a nerve with me.

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  8. #105
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    I think it is really sad that we don't hold ALL people accountable for their actions. We don't let others off in life when they hurt us because they don't know us and because what they are doing is not directly meant to hurt us, just to get them what they want. We don't let big businesses off for ripping us off so they can make money, we don't let people who jump in the line off because they don't know us...so why do we let people who knowingly participate in breaking the enormous promise of marriage off. Their guilt does not detract from the husbands guilt, it does not lessen it or take it away.

    There is also a fair bit of psychological research regarding cheating, and it is not just a case of the heart wants what the heart wants, it's not simply a case of someone falling in love with another person and oops they are already taken. Although, I guess sometimes that can happen, but in many cases committed people may appear more attractive, more exciting, more risky and of course for someone with low self esteem the idea if pursuing someone who will feed into that may also be a factor. So many people who pursue married men are actually attracted by the very fact that they are married, so not quite so innocent as they may be made out to be.

    In the end it all comes down to people wanting what they want, regardless of the collateral damage or the fact that this person who they claim to love is someone who could leave you when something better comes along.

    However as the old saying goes, if they'll do it with you; they'll do it to you, so I guess what goes around comes around.

    I like to think I live in a world where people are accountable for the imprint they leave...and that's what I will be teaching my kids.
    Last edited by Stepwise; 21-05-2014 at 10:30.

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  10. #106
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    I personally think it's pretty bad form for a person to pursue a relationship with a married person. It's not okay.

    However the married person is in control of what they do about the attention they receive from the outside party. If you are committed to your partner, you do not feed this kind of attention. You block it.

    If some guy hit on me, knowing I was married, I'd think he had poor morals and is a general slimeball. I can see how affairs begin and I'm completely closed off to any interactions which may lead me down the wrong path. Not only am I completely disinterested in any other man, I couldn't bare to hurt my DH like that.

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