+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 11 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 108
  1. #1
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
    Question those who don't question authority
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    9,661
    Thanks
    3,787
    Thanked
    2,144
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Is it ever OK to have an affair with a Married Man?

    Just interested in experiences, stories opinions etc. I have an acquaintance that I recently found out (with my own eyes) that she is bonking this married man (with kids) she works with, and I was just really shocked.

    I am possibly old fashioned or something, but it's not something I've ever been able to bring myself to do, I know it's pretty common though.

    How do people rationalise it to themselves? Is it just a case of hormonal overload getting in the way of thought?

    Would there be ANY instances where it was OK, and I'm talking about when the other partner has absolutely no idea what is going on.

    The whole thing strikes a bum note with me, especially as when I got rid of my ex, people came forward with all sorts of stories about things that had been happening behind my back. I guess I feel for the wife really.
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 25-04-2014 at 06:27.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MilkingMaid For This Useful Post:

    Gothel  (25-04-2014),Phony  (21-05-2014)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    984
    Thanks
    238
    Thanked
    313
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    No. I can't think of any instance where it's ok

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Justwant2beamummy For This Useful Post:

    KillerHeels  (25-04-2014)

  5. #3
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,026
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    Hmm, let me think for a min-NO!

    Never.

    Not even a man in a relationship, ring or not.

    If there is someone out there who considers themselves to be in a mutual relationship with a man, he is out of reach for everyone else.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    IvyRain  (25-04-2014)

  7. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Personally maybe when I was younger, I haven't (to my knowledge) but I think I wouldn't have cared, now I'm married I have a new sense of respect for the institution, relationships are hard and sometimes people look for what's missing in the wrong places and unfortunately it seems way too easy to find it...
    If a married man made a pass at me I'd tell him to go call his wife and ask her how her day was. My husband goes away for work and sometimes at conferences he tells me it's a free fest married or not, he's had married ladies hit on him, it's shameful really.

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    1,478
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    755
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    No.

    Op I don't think you are old fashion at all I think you have a good moral compass. It's simply not okay.

    In my work i see the fall out for men and women whose partners have cheated - it really, really effects them and there self image. Not to mention the affect of the family (the ones I see have separated as a result).

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I knew someone whose wife became very unwell at the age of 32. They never managed to have children. His wife has lived in a nursing home since the age of 38 and they do not have a conventional marriage (ie no sex or living together, she can barely walk/talk/see these days). It was a dilemma for him as he didn't want to divorce her but he also wanted some intimacy in his life. He would visit her everyday sometimes twice a day and worked hard to provide her with the best care and life's luxuries. The relationship was more of a carer/patient relationship. Anyway he decided to throw himself into his work and pay for sex when he needed to. He never once 'had an affair' because of his marriage vows. I always thought this was admirable.

    So no, having an affair with a married man or woman is not ok.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    PurpleButterfly4  (25-04-2014)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,643
    Thanks
    15,088
    Thanked
    11,253
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Never ok.

    Sent from my SM-N9005 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    7,160
    Thanks
    1,701
    Thanked
    3,395
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    No. Simple as that.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Well, my ex's partner apparently thought it was fine to pursue him when we were expecting DS! And when I found out about them my ex tried to tell me she was a 'good person'.

    I tend end to believe it's fine then, due to the fact there's clearly no consequences, based on my experience alone. Except consequences for me that is.

    4 years later and I still refuse to meet her. I don't care anymore but I know she is not a good person.

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    448
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0
    No. Having been on the other side of it, I just can't understand how the woman could do this when she knew about our marriage and ds. Of course that's not excusing my dh either though!


 

Similar Threads

  1. WWYD? Lawyer Up or call acurrent affair?
    By Mummy Potato in forum General Chat
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 25-04-2014, 22:49
  2. TTC#1 and NOT married...
    By Mamasupial in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 25-06-2013, 20:00
  3. Anyone gotten married in NZ?
    By Eco Goddess in forum Weddings
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 17-05-2013, 16:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Softer than your bub's bum Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Australia's favourite eco brand has delivered a gorgeous baby collection. Made from organic bamboo, Boody's extraordinarily soft and stretchy, skin-friendly tops, bottoms, onesies, bibs and wraps don't 'cost the earth'. Get 20% OFF! Code BUBHUB16.
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim Rostrevor runs learn to swim classes for children and adults. Lessons are run during the Summer months (Oct-Mar). Our indoor centre at Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!