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  1. #61
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    People can say no if they don't like the idea though.

    If it was one of DS's kindy friends i would simply ask the parents what they'd like me to bring. I try to go to all the parties, the kids have such fun! Thats what its all about.

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  3. #62
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I would find it rude. If the parent/s are broke, have some chips, cheap lollies, fairy bread and cocktail franks. That wouldn't even cost $20. The fact they made people pay all the costs for the play centre last year tells me this is a pattern and probably a present grab. They get to spend zero on the party every year while the guests pay for the food, then give presents. Very very rude.
    Said it so well

    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    If you're going to do it that way you need to word it differently than a standard birthday party invite.

    You aren't inviting someone to a party. You're asking them to join you at a casual get together for X's birthday. You then say something about having cake at a particular time and people are more than welcome to bring something more substantial and have a little picnic if they want to.

    It's the same as asking someone to join you for a pay-for-your-own grown up birthday dinner. You don't say you are inviting them to a birthday party dinner at *insert restaurant name here*. You say something along the lines of 'I'm going to X restaurant for dinner on the night of my birthday - would love for you to come along and join me if you can' and then include menu details and have a cake for dessert.
    This too This wouldn't bother me at all, I have been to lots of family get togethers where they just supply a cake at a certain time (given the size of my extended family it's pretty standard) usually the closer relatives bring a present but it's not expected at all, I try to bring something for the b-day person but it doesn't always happen and it's a perfectly acceptable, we all go to just have a good time and celebrate.

    The OPs situation sounds like a present grab..that is totally different IMO.

    I grew up in the 80's and if we had a party my parents paid for it/catered as previous posters mentioned, we were not well off at all either. Most of our b-days were just our favorite meal at home with a cake.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 22-04-2014 at 17:27.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    People can say no if they don't like the idea though.

    If it was one of DS's kindy friends i would simply ask the parents what they'd like me to bring. I try to go to all the parties, the kids have such fun! Thats what its all about.
    But then you get situations like previously mentioned where only 1 guest shows up poor munchkin.

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  6. #64
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    Maybe it's different here in NZ, but whenever we are invited to a party, the first thing I always ask is 'Is there anything in particular you'd like me to bring?' It's pretty much a given that you always take a plate to share over here.

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  8. #65
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    Yes that's common curtesy @MilkingMaid, something us Australians do possess believe it or not. However when nothing is provided by the party holders and all the expense is placed on the invited guests, that's when some of us get a bit miffed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    But then you get situations like previously mentioned where only 1 guest shows up poor munchkin.
    well, its better than no-one. I don't know, can't people just talk to each other?? Whatever happened to good ole communication? I'd honestly just chat to the other parents. The point is, they want to have a party for the kid, nothing bad about that. Its not a bother to spend a bit extra and bring a bit of food is it? And I'm by no means well off.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 22-04-2014 at 17:29. Reason: Spelling!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    Its nit a bother to spend a bit extra and bring a but if food is it? And I'm by no means well off.
    But that could be said for the parents of the child as well. Surely they can spend $20 for a few bowls of food for their own child's party? Why should it be the guest's responsibility? as I said, the guests may be broke as well.

    Look at it this way. My DD probably attends easily 20 parties a year (shes in primary). $20 for a gift and say $15 for me to make a slice/plate of food for every party. That's $700 a year!! That's huge!

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  13. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    Yes that's common curtesy @MilkingMaid, something us Australians do possess believe it or not. However when nothing is provided by the party holders and all the expense is placed on the invited guests, that's when some of us get a bit miffed.
    Why the eye rolling? Sounded like fully catered parties were the norm there, I was commenting on perhaps a cultural difference. Massive apologies to you.

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    If they cant afford to cater but still want a party then invite after lunch. Supply cordial or somethinh amd a cake. Who cant afford that?
    We have been invited to parties to bring a plate that's fine.. they also cooked not just waited for everyone else to cater it.
    I grew up in the 90s and never once did my parents pay tp attend a party for me.
    I have also been to a play centre and we didnt pay anything.

    I also wonder why some kids need a party every year if they cant afford it. . I only did every couple or few years.

    I also hate when kids open gifts throw to the side to open another.. makes u feel like sh.it I dont like people who are ungrateful. . So if someone asked us to attend a party where we had tp cater it ourselves and they werent grateful I would never attend again.. all about manners

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But that could be said for the parents of the child as well. Surely they can spend $20 for a few bowls of food for their own child's party? Why should it be the guest's responsibility? as I said, the guests may be broke as well.

    Look at it this way. My DD probably attends easily 20 parties a year (shes in primary). $20 for a gift and say $15 for me to make a slice/plate of food for every party. That's $700 a year!! That's huge!
    Yes thats a huge expense. But assuming not everyone has this type of party, I don't know, I think it's different but not necessarily wrong. Like I said, it's an invitation, you can decline. But it's about the kid, not their parents so I'd try to keep that in mind.

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