I wouldn't find the wording 'bring a plate' odd, but BYO food is strange. What do the kids do, each eat only what they brought? Bring a plate would be a picnic not a party.
My friends and I always bring a plate to BBQs, but the host also provides some food and soft drinks.
I get being broke, we were poor growing up (I'm talking struggling to put good on the table poor) but, if we had a party, we had a party. Mum would buy some cheap lollies and chips etc. She knew when we were born so she had a long time to save for it. She also didn't give us a party each year. Sometimes it was just a couple of friends for a sleepover.
If you really cannot afford the $20, then a casual picnic with shared plates works fine but asking people to bring everything themselves is rather odd. Everyone sitting eating their own sandwiches and one kid getting upset because another kid has better good is not a party, that's a school lunch.
It sounds like a family bbq/picnic, not a party.
Oh well.... Id find it odd but not necessarily (intentionally) rude. Whether i attended would depend on how well i know the other parents though.... So we could discuss beforehand!
Seems a bit odd to me. I've never been to a BYO kids birthday party, but if you are on a budget and you still want to give your kids a party experience it must be hard. However I must admit it does sound like a present grab, which is really sad for the kids, especially if it's not meant that way.
I think if I was on a tight budget I might word the invite to say something along the lines of "party food provided for the children, adults please bring a plate to share" Kids party food can be done on a budget - a loaf of white bread 1/2 made into fairy bread 1/2 into vegemite sandwiches, a few packets of cheap supermarket brand chips, same with lollies, a couple of packets of sweet biscuits and some fruit cut up on a plate. Kids won't be too fussed as long as they get something to nibble on. Parents might look down the noses at the quality, but meh, who cares!
Or maybe not call it a party - and word it to say something like "Please join as for a BYO picnic to celebrate NAME's birthday. Gift's not necessary"
I think it's odd. Wouldn't mind if food was catered for kids only and not the adults.
I grew up in quite a poor single parent household (in the 80's) and never once had a birthday party thrown for me.... Ever.... Because my mum simply couldn't afford it. I used to get clothes every birthday as well and hardly ever got any toys. She never would have been able to afford even a simple party as we could barely afford basic nessestities. When I was older I would invite a couple of friends over for a slumber party and we'd watch a movie and eat spag bog and chips. That's as special as it got for me and it was fine and I was appreciative.
I wish my mum had of thought of something like this...
I would have still attended. And I would of brought a fabulous plate of special party treats and a gift for the birthday kid and had a fab time...
Last edited by RipperRita; 22-04-2014 at 15:48.
I am only commenting on what was my normal. I also came from a single parent family in the 80s and like you parties were not big affairs, so I do get that, but if my mum said you were having a party that meant that you invited your friends and had food and cake supplied by us, the hosts.
I was just giving my perspective on what we have always done. I have never been to a childrens party and been asked to bring food or pay to enter a venue, an adult/family bbq get together yes, but never a childrens party.
I understand some families are broke, but I don't think it's really fair to pass the cost off to other people that aren't close family or friends. People are saying why should the child miss out? (and I do see their point), but by the same token, maybe the guests are broke too? not only are they bringing a present but also food too. I know they don't have to let their kids go, but anyone with kids over 3 or 4 know they always want to go to parties.
Can't afford to throw a birthday party? Why not financially burden your kids friends by asking them to bring a plate and a present instead. Yep that sounds reasonable. Sure your kid went to all the other kids parties and ate for free, but you are now asking everyone to pay for your party. Not fair. Like pp said, a packet of snags, bread and sauce, some chips and lollies would not break the bank at $20-$30. Provide jugs of water. I know I sound mean but it really rubs me the wrong way how these days people expect others to pay for their events. I went to a 30th the other week - it was a dinner. No mention of us paying for our own dinners, so I went along and bought a lovely present. It was a proper sit down 6 course degustation menu, and we had to buy our own alcohol. Fair enough I thought, until at the end the birthday girl was going around collecting money! Oh sorry didn't you know she said it's $75 per head!!!! Omfg. Thanks for inviting us to YOUR party and getting your guests to foot the bill.
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