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  1. #41
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    It wouldn't bother or offend me to be honest i don't think its a big deal at all. As others have said maybe they couldn't afford to cater for a party and that's ok, why should the child miss out on a get together with friends because money is tight. There's no written rule to say that a party has to offer food to be considered a party, to me a group of people getting together and having fun is a party. It could be for lots of different reasons that they chose to do byo but still it wouldn't bother me and i wouldn't judge, id happily pack my child a lunch and enjoy the party.

    I always cater for parties and it can cost a small fortune. On the topic of the McDonalds parties yes all the ones i had as a child and have attended the food has been paid for my the host.... HOWEVER it would not bother me to pay my own way. If it makes you unhappy don't attend but unfortunately its the kids who miss out.

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  2. #42
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    My oldest is nearly nine and we've hosted and attended our share of kids b'day parties and I'm yet to encounter a BYO affair so I find the idea a little unusual but not offensive or anything.

    Growing up it was always the birthday childs parents that provided everything, so it's just what I know.

  3. #43
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    I couldn't invite people to a party/get-together for kids and not cater for it. It is just not in me to do that.. If I couldn't afford to feed everyone, I'd just not have a party that year..
    For family or friends I'd happily do it though.
    My friends and I often have pot luck dinners, complete with plastic plates and cutlery to make the night as easy as possible.. It's loads of fun, especially seeing as though my groups of friends are full of all different nationalities.. There ends up being some pretty amazing food!

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pearlygirl View Post
    Seriously!? So people can't ask for their kids friends to attend a casual party at the park without feeding a load of people? They have to provide everything and asking people to bring something along is rude and a present grab?

    Doesn't anyone remember the days of the 80's and 90's where you went to maccas or pizza hut for your friends birthday? I can guarantee that the parents of the birthday child didn't pay for each kid to attend those parties. If my mum kicked up a stink every time one of those parties came along I would have missed out on lots of fun.

    Unbelievable!

    Sometimes I wonder what I am getting myself into with this whole baby thing! There are so many rules!
    Im an 80s baby. Had a few pizza hut, mickey d's parties. My parents always paid for them. They would restrict the number of friends I could invite based on cost. Ie. two friends for dinner and a movie or 10 at pizza hut.

    I think it's odd op, as we provide everything for parties. I would go though, it's not the kids fault.

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  6. #45
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    If you're going to do it that way you need to word it differently than a standard birthday party invite.

    You aren't inviting someone to a party. You're asking them to join you at a casual get together for X's birthday. You then say something about having cake at a particular time and people are more than welcome to bring something more substantial and have a little picnic if they want to.

    It's the same as asking someone to join you for a pay-for-your-own grown up birthday dinner. You don't say you are inviting them to a birthday party dinner at *insert restaurant name here*. You say something along the lines of 'I'm going to X restaurant for dinner on the night of my birthday - would love for you to come along and join me if you can' and then include menu details and have a cake for dessert.

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  8. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    If you're going to do it that way you need to word it differently than a standard birthday party invite.

    You aren't inviting someone to a party. You're asking them to join you at a casual get together for X's birthday. You then say something about having cake at a particular time and people are more than welcome to bring something more substantial and have a little picnic if they want to.

    It's the same as asking someone to join you for a pay-for-your-own grown up birthday dinner. You don't say you are inviting them to a birthday party dinner at *insert restaurant name here*. You say something along the lines of 'I'm going to X restaurant for dinner on the night of my birthday - would love for you to come along and join me if you can' and then include menu details and have a cake for dessert.
    Yep completely agree.

  9. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    It's easy to not offend and still cater. Shapes are $2 a packet , smiths chips / Doritos are 2 for $4 sakatas 2 for $3.50 and natural confectionary company lollies are on sale at woolies this week. Yes it's not healthy but for under $20 you have nibbles. Put the party on at either morning or afternoon tea time and some packets of shapes, a few packets of chips and a couple of packets of lollies is less likely to offend than byo.
    true...but my kids cannot eat most of those things!

    Cheap brand chips all have milk solids in the flaverings, shapes all have dairy, doritos (other than plain) are pretty horrid with artificial stuff. Could maybe do the Sakata's.

    There is a bigger picture than just people's own experience...and sometimes, if we want to embrace things we do...rather than picking people apart and telling them how they should do it.

  10. #48
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    *shrug* ...wouldn't bother me. Maybe they will provide lollies and chips and cake - but just not a 'meal'? You won't know unless you go I guess.

    If they are valued friends I'd go, If you don't know them all that well and you feel uncomfortable, like it is a 'present grab', then politely decline and move on.

  11. #49
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    My sister asked ppl to bring a plate to share for my nephews 1st birthday. They don't have much money and have another baby due sept so it was fine with me. Parties can be expensive and not everyone can afford 100s of dollars to put one on for their kids.

  12. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by jussi View Post
    I would call that a casual byo picnic, not a party. We did the same for my daughter for her second birthday, but provided cake, drinks and nibbles. Everyone knew it wasn't officially lunch so we had no complaints. We did it that way because of money.
    Agree with this.


 

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