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  1. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    Yes, but they were asking about *after* you had kids :-p
    Well how else was I meant to find a husband?!

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  3. #242
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I did the same with both girls and one was a crap sleeper and the other slept through at about 2 weeks. From 3 weeks I was getting 12hrs. That's on cuddling to sleep. Woohoo high 5 my awesome cuddles! Surely it's the cuddles I give not the temperament of the baby?
    Sometimes it's temperament. Sometimes it's parenting.
    - I can understand why some refuse to acknowledge that parenting may play a role in some cases of babies sleeping through. Because that would insinuate that in some cases parenting choices have led to babies being terrible sleepers. And few people like to self reflect like that.

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  5. #243
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie Pallie View Post
    what are you going to drink for me? I can't drink until after September
    Sorry Allie I've reached my limit for the night. Perhaps tomorrow!

  6. #244
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    Well then we are very very different parents. I too have those 'one last drink/toilet trip/kiss' but I ALWAYS say yes to the kisses. Life is too short to not kiss your child good night. I learnt that when I attended a 4yo's funeral in February.

    Dd1 yesterday wanted daddy cuddles for bed. Dh snuggled in with her. I'm sure when he is deployed overseas for the next 7mths he won't regret that cuddle.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I'm not sure what you are implying... Well actually I am.

    I don't engage my ds1 in his games, but then I kiss him on the forehead when he is quiet and settled. Then when I check on him through the night. I stand by my comment disagreeing with the statement that all cuddles are a NEED. Pfftttt!!!

  7. #245
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie Pallie View Post
    Genuine question... What happened come the 4 month sleep regression, with your cuddle to sleep bubba?

    I actually consider a bub who can be cuddled to sleep and doesn't wake every 2 hours at night an easy baby, especially after the 4 month sleep regression.

    i also think a sleep whenever, wherever type babies to be easy babies. Mine unfortunately needed routine and to sleep at home to sleep well at night.
    Well DD2 is my good sleeper and she's 5 months old in a few days . This week she started waking at 4am and I rocked her back to sleep, then she woke a couple more times. It was only the next day I realised she was getting sick. The next night she woke every hour as she couldn't breath lying down. So I let her sleep on me in the recliner so she was upright and could breath easier.

    Without the cold I'm not sure there would have been a regression to be honest. She's a bit better and slept in her own cot till 4 last night, woke up snuffly and I fed her and rocked her back to sleep and she slept till 8.

    So my answer is just keep rocking/cuddling back to sleep each time they wake. DD1 was a nightmare so I wouldn't have noticed a regression with her! Each time she woke I fed her and rocked her back to sleep. She now sleeps ok for a 2yo. Ends up in my bed about once a fortnight for part of the night if she wakes up crying. Bit too big to rock back to sleep now!

    I just love it when DD1 is in bed and I'm cuddling DD2 to sleep watching old episodes of 90210. I can barely get a cuddle out of DD1 now so I get what I can from DD2.

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    I know with my kids many of my parenting choices definitely reflect in their sleep patterns. I am still feeding and rocking and cuddling my nearly 9 month old over night as if I leave her to "self settle" she wakes her brother up, and I can't be bothered settling them both back to sleep.

    I gladly own my parenting style and the impact it has in my kids. But I think @VicPark you need to remember that if you want to own the great parenting choices you made that impact on your kids you must also own each and every bad one as well.

    One of the leading sleep clinics (not sleep schools but a sleep disorder clinic) released information on babies and sleep when DD1 was about a year old and basically concluded that of 100 babies 15 would always normally follow a routine, 15 will never follow a routine and the other 70 will shuffle between feral and routine. Parents can have an impact on that but cannot fundamentally change the nature of the baby they have been given.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    But there's also research that says control crying (respond and return--not crying it out) doesn't have negative effects. I know of a couple articles but they're from another parenting site so can't be posted here.

    I also think you should stop putting crying and grizzling in the same ballpark. They are very different. Maybe you have a baby that doesn't grizzle and always goes straight to crying but I have a baby that grizzles and is ok when he does it, he's tired and trying to transition to a deep sleep, having me interrupt that would mess it all up for him.
    But even most cc and CIO professionals do not advocate using this method before 6 months!

  10. #248
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    But even most cc and CIO professionals do not advocate using this method before 6 months!
    Definitely, sorry, I should have included that.

    Eta: sorry baby all of the sudden went from sound asleep to crying my arms so couldn't finish!

    I just felt if research was going to be discussed then you give both sides of the coin, and there's research that suggests CC (not CIO) isn't damaging. But yes, even that research says after 6 months of age.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 22-04-2014 at 23:15.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sometimes it's temperament. Sometimes it's parenting.
    - I can understand why some refuse to acknowledge that parenting may play a role in some cases of babies sleeping through. Because that would insinuate that in some cases parenting choices have led to babies being terrible sleepers. And few people like to self reflect like that.
    I often used wish I could have given my DD to a better mother because she just cried and cried and cried - and then I had my boys and I responded to their needs and I honestly slept boobs out, buffet style and we were all happy and now I just wish I could give her to me - the me that knows better!

    I do believe that it most cases it's temperament - my DS2 was a kilo at birth and still mewed for cuddles in the NICU.

    That's funky - I was quoting Sonja and I got VicPark....the universe is weird!
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 22-04-2014 at 23:11.

  12. #250
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    Just leaving opposing parenting philosophies aside for the moment... To those who've read a range of parenting books - do the other books leave this much room for interpretation/misinterpretation, or are they more 'idiot'-proof?

    Because that keeps leaping out to me as the main issue. Not the semantics about whether a cup of tea literally means having a cup of tea or not, but the fact that this distinction is being made in the first place.

    And surely, if this book can be misinterpreted to the extent that even some of SOS's biggest proponents are saying that some people are getting it very wrong, then that's a massive problem?
    I'm not getting into the SOS debate, but yes I did find some other approaches far more idiot proof. Eg, I followed the safe sleep space approach with DD (which worked quite well) which says- allow them to try to self settle. Any little whimpers or grizzles, keep listening. Three loud 'waa's' and you go in immediately and offer comfort until calm. Idiot proof. No mixed messages about what constitutes 'protesting' and saying in ones breath 'it's not CC' then in the next 'be prepared for some crying'
    It actually tells you exactly what to listen for.

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