I generally don't follow Tizzie Hall's approach but on this aspect she helped me. From memory (and it was a long time ago I used it) when a baby keeps getting up, you sit beside the cot and let her stand fully up, then scoop her up, give them a cuddle (I might have added that part) and then lie her back down and shush and pat. As soon as she tris to stand up again, let her do this then repeat the same comforting approach. Her explanation was every time a baby stand up fully they tire themselves, and if you let them get themselves up every time they will soon become too tired to stand and will fall asleep. You are with them and comfort them, but don't stop them getting up.
We did this with DD1 and the first time she got up nearly 25 times, the second sleep was about 12 and the 3rd sleep twice. She didn't do it after that.
As a nanny/night nanny/doula/ I've done controlled crying many times and I don't think it's bad, it's giving a baby an opportunity to self settle but comforting them if needed.
I have a friend currently using SOS, our babies are the same age so we're constantly back and forth about what we're going through and what we're trying.
I messaged her a little video of DS crying over the monitor, to me it was clearly a distressed cry but she felt that it was only 'grizzling' (protest cry) because he didn't have tears. Is she interpreting Tizzie's message wrongly? He may not have had tears but he was definitely distressed (hot, coughing, etc). Like you, I think I can tell the difference between him grizzling and crying.
I'm happy to let him grizzle but not properly cry for four minutes (coming from my friend). This particular day I was feeling overwhelmed with resettling, hence leaving him until actually crying. Definitely not up for doing it again!
Eta: I also love a routine, as a nanny it's how my days went and everybody was always happy and calm knowing what to expect next. I think that's what I struggle the most with now, I almost wish I didn't have so much experience and expectations of how things can be because trying to do it as a breastfeeding mom is much harder than doing it as a nanny that gets to go home at the end of the day or night!
We do have a loose routine right now, definitely one at night and he sleeps well I think, it's the current phase of catnaps that are doing my head in!
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 22-04-2014 at 05:46.
How do I unsubscribe from this thread? I'm finding it way to disturbing
I've read only the routines but never used the book otherwise. I can say that because my DS cries so much I have had to leave him for a minute to breath then head back in the to try settle him again. I believe babies do cry for a reason but find that reason could be as simple as crying to be held because that's what they are use to. Still they deserve to have their needs attended to and to have a cuddle when one is needed. My DS woke at 4.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep so I simply took him to my bed where I co sleep with DD 3 yrs and I put him next to me and just kept popping his dummy back in he was quite happy to lie there watching nothing lol
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I've read it. A couple of times. But I dont follow it. I believe in instinctive parenting. My instincts tell me to pick my baby up and comfort him when he cries. So that's what I do.
I have 3 children. 2 didnt sleep through until at least 2.5. My littlest slept through at about 12 weeks. All parented similarly, but DS3 was cuddled to sleep and co-slept for 9 or so weeks. I actually believe that that helped him to feel safe and secure enough that he found the move to his cot quite easy.
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I found it very difficult to distinguish between a grizzle and a cry - DS is a belter so that's another reason it wasn't for me - I couldn't interpret it properly and I was left feeling confused, frustrated and tbh a bit depressed about how hard I found it all. When I just stopped trying to control everything it all fell into place much better for us.
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