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  1. #1
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    Default i dont love,my husband anymore...

    As it says quite simply in my title i have no love for my husband. I care for him as a person and the father of my children but just not the love that should be between a husband and wife. I dont know how to change how i feel and its just hard because i am having trouble on a daily basis trying to hide my feelings from him so i dont hurt him. I dont want to hurt him we have been through so much together and for so many years. I just dont know what to do...has anyone else ever felt like this and managed to get through it?

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    Yes. I can't help you though because I feel the same way. If it's any help it used to really really concern me (as it obviously is you), but after a little while it's just become the norm. I do love things about him and as the kids dad, and for now that's all that matters to both of us, so it works. I actually don't feel like I need the love of a man, the loves of my life are my children, and I have no desire to have that "spark" or anything else. My husband seems ok with this too, but if he ever decided the relationship we're in now isn't enough for him, well I guess I would understand, but right now, we seem to be happy just keeping on the way we are.

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    Can you go and see a counsellor to help work through your feelings? Do you know why you feel like this?

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    avarose2014  (16-04-2014)

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    I guess im not really all that sure what the problem is. Maybe its just that we have grown apart after so many years or that we were so young when we got married and have changed. I have noticed that he doesnt treat me the way he used to...it seems hes alway on the phone or working. I resent him because im left to the parenting side, every little thing is done by me. I am up at 5am to pack his lunch and make breakfast and then i get a message from him at 9:30am saying "im sorry mate but please dont worry about packing my lunch anymore im sick of cheese sangers and f*cking cupcakes i dont even like cupcakes and dry f*cking biscuts" it just shocked me. I wonder how we ended up like this...it makes me sad

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi avarose. why did he send you a text? that is shocking in so many ways. How long have you been together? have you ever been happy in this relationship.? It seems like it is not even a friendship. so sad. Do you think you can find a way back to where you were glad to see him come home at night. ? I married young, and it has taken some work to still be happy together after nearly 38 years. I hope you can remember some good peaceful times, and maybe work together to save your family. hugs, Marie.

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    oh wow.. ok I take back my post about us being in a similar position.

    My husband would a) never expect me to make his breakast, and b) if for some strange reason I decided to (which I wouldn't) he would NEVER send me a text like that.

    That is unbelievably rude. Who speaks to people like that!! I wouldn't love him either.

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    Super granny the message just came out of the blue I think I'm just making him unhappy maybe he just knows how I feel and can't be bothered. When I look at him he seems so different to the man I married. We used to love each other so much and now I struggle to put on a happy face when he comes home

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    Quote Originally Posted by avarose2014 View Post
    I guess im not really all that sure what the problem is. Maybe its just that we have grown apart after so many years or that we were so young when we got married and have changed. I have noticed that he doesnt treat me the way he used to...it seems hes alway on the phone or working. I resent him because im left to the parenting side, every little thing is done by me. I am up at 5am to pack his lunch and make breakfast and then i get a message from him at 9:30am saying "im sorry mate but please dont worry about packing my lunch anymore im sick of cheese sangers and f*cking cupcakes i dont even like cupcakes and dry f*cking biscuts" it just shocked me. I wonder how we ended up like this...it makes me sad
    It wasn't too long ago that I felt the same for my partner I met him at 19 we have been together just over 4 years now but after 2 year I just felt distant and removed he use to say some horrible horrible things to me. We worked and worked on our relationship and we love each other again even though there's no "spark" but we are happy together. We have 2 children they don't hold us together but they help our love for them shows our love for each other. Tell him how you feel I started not so long ago to do that with my DP and things have vastly improved in the sense that unless we have a huge argument nothing nasty gets said anymore.

    Sent from my LG-D802T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I forgot to say before we have been married almost eleven years.

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    Quote Originally Posted by avarose2014 View Post
    I forgot to say before we have been married almost eleven years.
    That's a long time and it's sad but maybe you 2 need some time apart to think about your feelings and see how it goes there's no shame in taking a break.

    Sent from my LG-D802T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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