+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default Single, pregnant and feeling alone.

    Hi everyone,


    I'm 20 and am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my first child. It was an unexpected pregnancy. I had known the father since I was 15 but we were always in and out of contact due to the work I did. I was at the time very much in love with the father. We finally become official last year and six months later I fell pregnant. I was completely taken aback by this as for years he had said he was infertile and had actually told other people he was too.


    When I confronted him about it he admitted there 'may be' a possibility that he could have children. Which obviously he could, I was pregnant. I told him I was and his whole demeanour instantly changed. He told me to get an abortion, broke it off with me and told me he didn't want anything to do with me or the child. Eventually I found out he had been cheating on me with several people (one of them a friend of mine of 10 years), and that he had gotten several girls pregnant before. At the beginning I tried to get him interested and change his mind on the baby, but he didn't want any responsibility or contact.


    It's now been 4 months, he has since disappeared and I have been facing my pregnancy completely alone. I've lost all of my friends and even some of my family who believe you should be wed and have children. Throughout this I've had 'close' friends tell me to abort or adopt the child, but I couldn't possibly. I've grown so attached to my little bean and I've sacrificed everything to keep him. I want to prove everyone wrong, and show them that I can be the best mother for my child. I would do anything to give him the best future possible.


    Right now I feel like nobody really understands what I'm going through and that I'm in this alone. I'm hoping there's someone on here that has gone through something similar and could offer some support. I really need a friend or two.


    also, is it possible to live on centrelink single parenting payments?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Littlebunny For This Useful Post:

    MrsJoey  (16-04-2014)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't know the answer to your question but just wanted to say I think you're doing a very brave and mature thing, you should hold your head high knowing you're going to be the best mum you can be. All the best.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to MsViking For This Useful Post:

    mrsd  (16-04-2014)

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Oh and I also meant to say I have quite a few single parent friends, some who've always been on their own. It's a tough job but they're all fine, most had to return to work sooner than they would have liked but they're all happy and are able to support themselves and their kids on one income. I will get much easier over time, and as one of my friends likes to say, it's often easier when the father isn't in the picture as it's less complicated and you get to make all the decisions without consulting them on everything. :-)

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to MsViking For This Useful Post:

    Littlebunny  (23-04-2014)

  7. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,226
    Thanks
    427
    Thanked
    545
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi little bunny

    I'm sorry your pregnancy has been full of drama and the father sounds like a total loss. Good on you for carrying on and being strong for your beautiful baby. Do you have any family supporting you?

    Welcome to bubhub. There are many single mummies on here who will provide you with support and advice. Please come here for help whenever you need it.

    Sent from my SM-N9007 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Funnels For This Useful Post:

    Littlebunny  (23-04-2014)

  9. #5
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default ...

    I'm probably not one to comment as I am father but I wonder if it's worth preparing to chase this guy up for money.

    Does he work? Are you prepared to chase it up with a collation/legal agency if need be?

    You should not have to support this child on your own financially. I get so angry when I read posts like this.

    If it makes you feel any better my dad chose another lifestyle after having my brother and I. He never paid a cent of child support to my mum who at times had to leave us at home at night while she worked 3 jobs.

    Now he wants back in our lives and may possibly need financial help as he ****ed his money away on his new "child free" lifestyle. My brother and I won't give him a cent, my mother on the other hand will never have to worry, so one thing I can say if you give your child all the love and support you sound like you will it will pay back with love and support.

    Tell this ******** to sterilise himself (hopefully slowly with blunt metallic instrument) or wear a condom for christ sake.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Pharm For This Useful Post:

    Chillies  (16-04-2014),Littlebunny  (23-04-2014),My Beloved Ones  (16-04-2014)

  11. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    113
    Thanks
    112
    Thanked
    35
    Reviews
    0
    Hey little bunny, I'm not a single mum (we're just doing IVF) but I wanted to say I think you're awesome! What a lucky boy you're son is to have a mum like you.

    Must have been a shock about your ex you poor thing 💐

    I agree with previous poster - definitely make him pay child support! Try and get his name on the birth certificate - this will make things easier. Depending on which state you are in you should have access to legal aid organisations through Child Support Agency. Just try googling it.

    In answer to your question, I def believe it's possible. My mum brought us 3 kids up on welfare with no child support (and with a heavy smoking habit too)!

    Lastly, there are sooo many lovely supportive people on Bubhub (of all ages) so don't be afraid to post about whatever you need help with or even if you just want to vent your feelings to some supportive listeners.

    Good luck with everything 🍀

  12. #7
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    216
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    46
    Reviews
    0
    I'm in a similar situation. I can't offer any advice as I'm 19 and 10 weeks pregnant. but I just want you to know you're not alone.

    my whole family are moving interstate in a week. I'll be here in Sydney alone. my ex only wants to talk to me and see me after midnight. so that's stupid. His family now hate me because of all of the lies his sister has told.

    my friends have all left.

    I have no one.

    I have no money. no centrelink. money from work goes straight to bills.

    um struggling with uni because I feel like all i do is work and study. I have no me time. I can't focus. I'm upset and lonely all the time!

    I'm jus
    t waiting for things to get better..

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Bobbielouise For This Useful Post:

    Littlebunny  (23-04-2014)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks everyone for replying. I really appreciate the support.


    I'm fortunate to have a really supportive mother, she's letting me stay at home with her and her boyfriend at the moment and has paid for all of my appointments and such - I can't receive centrelink as her boyfriend earns too much and is expected to support me, even though that is not the case at all. He's agreed to allow me to stay for 6 weeks after the baby is born and then I will be on my own.


    I'm hoping I'll be able to receive centrelink payments in that frame of time to move out on my own. Otherwise I have nowhere else to go.


    Unfortunately the father does not work. Even though he is 23, he lives off centrelink payments, rents his parents second home, has his car and everything in their name and isn't interested in working.


    I don't want to put him on the birth certificate, as I honestly don't believe he deserves to be in my babies life after everything he has said and done. However I do wish to claim child support for my son, that way if the father ever decides to start working the money can go towards my babies future, be it college or a car. He deserves as much.


    Is it possible for the father to not be on the birth certificate, but for me to tell CSA who he is and claim child support? Is there anyone I could contact to find out?


    right now I'm happy the father has disappeared and I don't want him back in my life.

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Bobbie, thank you so much for your message. I'd love to keep in contact with you, maybe we can be supports for each other

    you out can send me an email at adeersheart@gmail.com if you would like.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Can't shake feeling of 'Not feeling pregnant anymore'
    By bindilou13 in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-01-2014, 16:18
  2. Becoming single when pregnant.
    By DreamyMummy in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-09-2013, 20:45

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!