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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I remember that I also remember someone saying in a wedding thread you should be giving a min of 100 per person and that is selfish if you don't, the B&G shouldn't have to pay for you to eat. Ummm it's a wedding?? you wouldn't invite a friend couple over for dinner then demand they give you 50 each! a guest means... being a guest. The poor guests have already parted with a fortune with all the lead up parties, outfits etc.
    Yeah I agree with you there! YOU are the guest, THEY'RE holding the party/celebration, it shouldnt be up to the guests to pay back the amount that was paid for them just to eat, how rude!. I remember my sisters wedding a year ago cost me nearly $500 in total just for hair, dress, shoes etc, not including accommodation. I was broke for her wedding to look nice as I was a part of wedding photos. We didnt have cash to give because of it, but we did get them a nice individual gift each.

  2. #52
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    I love them!

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pearlygirl View Post
    Do people in the real world actually expect for guests to pay their reception costs in gifts? I hear this all the time on bubhub and other places online, but I have never ever heard anyone even mention this let alone expect it outside of the internet.
    I was at a wedding about 9 years ago where the sister in law of the bride was saying this about a gift. 'They only got them a cheap crappy gift & after my in laws paid x amount for them to come and celebrate.'

    A friend is getting married soon & I'm thinking about stealing her 'no presents' bit. 'As our household is well set up & after relieving so many presents at the engagement party, we request no gifts on the day. There will be a wishing well but as your presence is our present we sincerely hope you do not feel obligated to put anything in there.'

    She means every word of it & doesn't expect many people to use it.

  4. #54
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spotdog View Post
    Loathe! Why should wedding guests have to pay for your honeymoon or landscaping? You wouldn't ask for money at a funeral instead of flowers!
    I'm getting married in a couple of months and it's not about getting the guests pay for anything. The fact is that we have been together for 10 years, we have everything we need. We do not have the space for traditional wedding gifts (eg place settings, high end crockery, etc) nor would we ever use it. It would be a complete waste of money. Many people, however, feel compelled to buy a gift so we would much rather that gift be something useful and practical - hence we would request Bunnings vouchers we could then use to contribute to one of our house projects. Personally, I find just cash a bit off but vouchers for a particular item/store not quite so impersonal.

    I do get that some people show a hideous sense of entitlement but I'm guessing that would extend beyond their wedding day and into life in general.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickyBee View Post
    A friend is getting married soon & I'm thinking about stealing her 'no presents' bit. 'As our household is well set up & after relieving so many presents at the engagement party, we request no gifts on the day. There will be a wishing well but as your presence is our present we sincerely hope you do not feel obligated to put anything in there.'

    She means every word of it & doesn't expect many people to use it.
    I like this and I'm going to steal it too!

    The only expense our guests (which is just family) have to incur is their travel. I wouldn't dream of asking guests to pay for anything. Our wedding is going to be off the beaten track a little so we are paying for accommodation for 1 night which is going to be the biggest expense.

  5. #55
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    I'm fine with them, I don't think it necessary that we stick to the tradition of giving items to 'set up home' just because it is tradition. Times change, most people have what they need by the time they get married, and the cost of living is huge these days.
    Lordy, I received a heap of kitchen stuff for Christmas I just want to throw out but won't purely because it was a gift (sigh).
    In saying that, I have been to a wishing well wedding and given a gift that I thought more appropriate for the couple, for many reasons.

  6. #56
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    Love them! (But I am a very practical person...)
    We had one at our wedding over 7 years ago. We were given amounts ranging from $30- several hundred dollars. We also received some lovely gifts. We were blown away by the generosity of our family and friends!
    Although I can't remember the exact amount we received, I do know it was less than a quarter of what we spent on our wedding, but I never expected people to "pay for their meal".
    The money we were gifted helped us set up our home together since we hadn't lived in sin!
    We used it to buy a washing machine, fridge, sofabed for when visitors came to stay, a coffee table and some of our dining chairs. Very gratefully received and all used for its intended purpose!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChickyBee View Post
    I was at a wedding about 9 years ago where the sister in law of the bride was saying this about a gift. 'They only got them a cheap crappy gift & after my in laws paid x amount for them to come and celebrate.'

    A friend is getting married soon & I'm thinking about stealing her 'no presents' bit. 'As our household is well set up & after relieving so many presents at the engagement party, we request no gifts on the day. There will be a wishing well but as your presence is our present we sincerely hope you do not feel obligated to put anything in there.'

    She means every word of it & doesn't expect many people to use it.
    I think this is a reflection on the sister in law, not on the wishing wells themselves.

  8. #58
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    I used to hate the idea of a wishing well but now I'm a busy mum I think it's a convenient option! Like a previous poster said, just stop off at an ATM on the way to the wedding!

    If I had a wedding I'd ask for no gifts, and if a few closer relatives insisted on giving cash we'd graciously accept but never expect it.

    Alternatively I'd ask for a bottle of wine that we could share with the giver when they visit us at our home next.

    Another gift I like giving is a restaurant voucher for somewhere really nice. That way the newlyweds get to enjoy a nice date night after the wedding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dee1 View Post
    I think this is a reflection on the sister in law, not on the wishing wells themselves.
    Absolutely the sister in law is a piece of work. That was in response to a PP asking if anyone had heard the sentiment that a present or wishing well gift should be equal to the cost of the guests meal anywhere off the internet.

    I have no problem with wishing wells myself.

  10. #60
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    I'm not a fan of them. If people want to give cash/gift cards then they can still do so without a wishing well, just pop it in a card.
    We had a tiny wedding and we weren't expecting gifts at all but everything we received (including cash/gift cards) was lovely and totally appreciated.


 

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