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  1. #41
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    I love them. If I'm going to give someone a gift it's important to me that it's something they will use otherwise I've pretty much wasted my money.

    With weddings/engagements if the couple have lived out of home it can be really tricky to know what they already have or what they need and so I'd rather give money and know that every cent will be appreciated and used. We didn't specify with our engagement and were given 4 photo frames, 2 photo albums, 3 vases, sheets that didn't fit our bed and many other things that we just couldn't use. A few people gave us Myer gift vouchers for $20-30 and we were able to put them together and buy a beautiful quilt cover that we loved and still use 6 years later! We therefore had a wishing well for our wedding and that enabled us to buy an air conditioner, rip up the carpet and polish our floor boards, go on an extra tour on our honeymoon and a few other specific things that we cherish and were so grateful as these were things we would have had to save for a while to afford! I certainly appreciated the $20 in my wishing well that helped us to do those things than another vase or photo frame.

    Me - 30, Dh - 38 ttc #1 since June 2011
    natural bfp June 2012 - mc 5.5 weeks; 5 cycles clomid; 2 unsuccessful ivf.

  2. #42
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    I don't loathe them as such - I can see why people think they are a good idea, but I think it's poor taste for a couple to insist on cash only, no gifts.

    I don't appreciate the expectation some people have that think you have to cover the cost of your attendance. In other words, they expect at least $200 per couple. That's a lot of money as far as I'm concerned.

    I'll never forget being berrated on here by one member for admitting to gifting $50 to a friend for an engagement party wishing well because it wouldn't have covered our meal. I paid around $300 in accommodation and fuel to attend said engagement and the $50 was all I could comfortably afford at the time. It's this kind of attitude regarding wishing wells that I take exception to.

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  4. #43
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    @Degrassi - That's my feeling on the matter too.

    I LOVE weddings! And more importantly I love my friends and family and it is a pleasure to give them a gift (money or otherwise).

    It is the expectation and the demands that put me off.

    I have zero against wishing wells in themselves, or when presented as an option.

  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post

    I'll never forget being berrated on here by one member for admitting to gifting $50 to a friend for an engagement party wishing well because it wouldn't have covered our meal. I paid around $300 in accommodation and fuel to attend said engagement and the $50 was all I could comfortably afford at the time. It's this kind of attitude regarding wishing wells that I take exception to.
    I remember that I also remember someone saying in a wedding thread you should be giving a min of 100 per person and that is selfish if you don't, the B&G shouldn't have to pay for you to eat. Ummm it's a wedding?? you wouldn't invite a friend couple over for dinner then demand they give you 50 each! a guest means... being a guest. The poor guests have already parted with a fortune with all the lead up parties, outfits etc.

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  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I remember that I also remember someone saying in a wedding thread you should be giving a min of 100 per person and that is selfish if you don't, the B&G shouldn't have to pay for you to eat. Ummm it's a wedding?? you wouldn't invite a friend couple over for dinner then demand they give you 50 each! a guest means... being a guest. The poor guests have already parted with a fortune with all the lead up parties, outfits etc.
    Ohhhhh I've seen people say they ask for contributions when they invite people over for dinner ...
    @Degrassi - I remember that thread too. Unbelievable. To this day I'm gobsmacked they were serious.

  8. #46
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    Totally agree - I can't believe some people expect that you would cover the cost of your meal! Our wedding reception was $120 per head, but it was our choice to pay that much. We could have chosen a cheaper venue and I would never expect a guest to give a larger gift because that.

    I did get really cranky a little while ago when I was invited to a family member's wedding, and we were only invited to the ceremony and canapes not the full reception (that was fine) however we were asked to pay $35 per person to attend the ceremony and canapes! I thought that was so rude!

    Me - 30, Dh - 38 ttc #1 since June 2011
    natural bfp June 2012 - mc 5.5 weeks; 5 cycles clomid; 2 unsuccessful ivf.

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  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by phee83 View Post
    Totally agree - I can't believe some people expect that you would cover the cost of your meal! Our wedding reception was $120 per head, but it was our choice to pay that much. We could have chosen a cheaper venue and I would never expect a guest to give a larger gift because that.

    I did get really cranky a little while ago when I was invited to a family member's wedding, and we were only invited to the ceremony and canapes not the full reception (that was fine) however we were asked to pay $35 per person to attend the ceremony and canapes! I thought that was so rude!

    Me - 30, Dh - 38 ttc #1 since June 2011
    natural bfp June 2012 - mc 5.5 weeks; 5 cycles clomid; 2 unsuccessful ivf.
    Oh wow! That is all kinda of rude!

  11. #48
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    I am happy to contribute to a wishing well if that is what the Bride and Groom request. I also love choosing a gift from a registry, just because it is an excuse to go shopping.

  12. #49
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    I used to dislike wishing wells a lot but now I am used to them and don't mind at all. When I got married 4 years ago we hadn't been to any wedding where wishing wells were a thing - the last 2ish years every wedding we have attended have had wishing wells. I do prefer that the bride and groom let us know why they want money though - as in for honeymoon/reno's etc. I would like thank you cards though! We have been to a few weddings now where we never received thank you's - now this I find rude!

    When we were engaged we got a lot of gifts that we didn't need which was a waste of money for our guests - which is why we went for a honeymoon registry instead as we literally did not need anything (we had been living together for 7 years by this stage) - we also have a small house and not much storage and I don't have any room for loads of vases/platters/towels/wine glasses etc.

    Do people in the real world actually expect for guests to pay their reception costs in gifts? I hear this all the time on bubhub and other places online, but I have never ever heard anyone even mention this let alone expect it outside of the internet.

  13. #50
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    Love them. Saves having to try and think what to buy. I don't think it is rude to ask for a wishing well at all. Otherwise you end up with stuff you don't need or already have. I do like it though when you get a thank you card back and they let you know what your money went towards buying


 

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