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  1. #11
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    I had someone with BPD in my life for several years and I know how draining it is and how needy and attention seeking they can be.

    I think at the end of the day, you have to look after you. I would be staying out of town on Mother's day and worrying about yourself.

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    Summer  (15-04-2014)

  3. #12
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    You are her daughter not her mum. It's a mum's job to look after their children and be there for them. You don't need to be strong for her, she needs to be strong for you. Take your time, you have every right to feel however you feel without being made to feel guilty for it.

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    Summer  (15-04-2014)

  5. #13
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    Thanks delirium - you are so right, dealing with someone with BPD is so draining - I sometimes feels like the energy is just being sucked right out of me and she is left feeling fine, but I'm a wreck...

    Thank you so much CazHazKidz - you are so right, our relationship is totally around the wrong way and I'm really over it and trying to shift it into a healthier direction. It has always been the way though - she left when I was a teen, and moved quite a way away so I didn't see much of her and once on the phone I was telling her about a boy I liked and she said "Anytime any boy pays you some attention you just fall at his feet" - I was so shocked I just hung up in her ear. Then a few minutes later she called back in hysterics that I hung up on her, and it took me an hour or more to calm her down... And that was 25 years ago!

    I'm pretty sure that I'll be looking after myself that weekend, but I'll have to stay tough and not take any crap over it.

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leisylou View Post
    Goodness that sounds cyncial doesn't it??
    Not at all, I have two good friends who are dealing with MILs exactly like this.
    The frustration is exhausting for them so I can imagine you're in the same boat.

    It sounds like you have a great weekend planned.
    I especially like the late brekky and the country drive, lovely.

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    Summer  (15-04-2014)

  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    Not at all, I have two good friends who are dealing with MILs exactly like this.
    The frustration is exhausting for them so I can imagine you're in the same boat.

    It sounds like you have a great weekend planned.
    I especially like the late brekky and the country drive, lovely.
    Thank you - I'm going with this option I think :-)

  9. #16
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    I think that you should just plan to be at the mothers day with your family.......but unfortunately you will eat some dodgy seafood at the ball and you and your husband will have terrible food poisoning and will have to get a late check out from your accommodation because you are too sick to drive. So sad you won't be able to take advantage of the room service .

    Lying. Yes. But if you don't feel that your family are a safe place to land, you might just have do what it takes to protect yourself. And it shouldn't have to be a fight.

    Massive hugs. I lost a pregnancy that was a mothers day conception 3 years ago. I think that really does make it that bit sadder. (that said I am so very blessed to have a 4 year old).

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  11. #17
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    Leisylou big hugs. Mothers Day is so freaken hard when TTC xxxxx

    Take the day to yourself if you need it. Self preservation is essential during this journey.


    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  13. #18
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    I know exactly how you feel Leisy, it sucks. It sucks they don't acknowledge you as a mum on such a day, I would have to agree with PP's-take time out and do your own thing. Make plans to go away and just take your mum out to lunch earlier and give her a pressie and then go be free! Hugs xxx

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