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  1. #1
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    Default Hubby needs help

    Hey guys, we're one day away from our first embie transfer with IVF ICSI.

    Here's my problem.

    Hubby, although (mostly 😉) wonderful, caring and supportive towards me has been struggling personally.

    Last night it sort of came to a head and we ended up having a fight.

    We cleared things up and are all good now, but the underlying issue - of him struggling still hasn't been addressed and I'm worried. I feel like I want / need to be more pro-active in helping him. Problem is, I can't do it all myself.

    He won't go to counselling (had a bad experience a few years ago) and he doesn't talk to anyone outside of me and one guy at work about things. The guy at work is not a real friend friend more just a colleague friend.

    He does have friends, and one really good friend and I've encouraged him heaps to open up to him but he won't.

    Does anyone have ideas or suggestions for things I could offer him to support him?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    It sounds like you are doing everything you can. My best friend has a lot of personal issues and over the years I have realised that all she really wants from me is a listening ear. I have given her heaps of advice and tried to get her to seek professional help on many occasions but at the end of the day you can lead a horse to water etc. So keep gently suggesting different options to him, but really you can't do much more than that - keep being a support by being a sounding board, and just make him feel loved (which I'm sure you are already doing) and hopefully one day he will want to try and seek further help.

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Thanks gingerkat I took your advice and made a point to mention to DH a couple of times today that he's not alone and he can talk to me etc and it seems to have made him a bit more relaxed phew. Just wish he would be more proactive with opening up to me *sigh*

  5. #5
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    I feel for you @MrsJoey. My dh was/ is the same.! In the end I started counselling for myself and I think it helped us both. I finally learnt that dh deals with things differently than me. He doesn't like to talk things out like I do. And the fact that he doesn't used to make me try and force the issue. I now tell him how I feel and leave it at that. I also make sure we have a bit of 'normal' time! The whole ivf process can be so all consuming and I think in protecting our dh's we can sometimes isolate him. Good luck

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to frogpossum For This Useful Post:

    MrsJoey  (13-04-2014)

  7. #6
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    That's a good point about him being diff. I actually did think about counselling for me so I might see about booking that tomorrow at our embie tfr date.

    I just wish I felt more normal, would make it easier to deal with. Stupid hormones grr

    Thanks for replying xx

  8. #7
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    Hi @MrsJoey,

    I know this is an old thread, But if you are still on your TTC journey (I hope you aren't) and the trouble is MFI, you or your DH may like to read my DH blog - theonewithjb.com. It might help both of you to hear the thoughts of a male sharing a similar story. I know it helps me to better understand what is going on in my DH head through all of this.
    All the best xx


 

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