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  1. #31
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    Oh and there wont be and signs on our house, we can not have our psycho neighbor knowing when we're selling. It will be just done privately.

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  3. #32
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    Then no I wouldn't tell her, it will only cause you unnecessary stress which you don't need whilst selling a house. It's none of her business in my opinion.

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    Op I wouldn't tell her nor would I give the $$ back, you fulfilled your end if the bargain by moving near her, you now need to move for other reasons. It's unreasonable to expect you to stay in the one place forever.

    I think you need to prepare yourself that she might find out about the sale, even with no sign. Unless you're moving first then selling

  5. #34
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    I think what ill do is once the house is on the market ill then let her know casually in conversation. And then mention where we're planning to move to, and then just make sure i remain calm when she gets nasty and not let it get to me.

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    Either way - she has you hooked into her game - by virtue of the fact you are stressing already means she has some form of control.

    Re-write the rules to suit yourself and only give her what information she needs to know when it suits you to give it to her.

    My father is a malignant narcissist and his wife is his minion - I simply walked away and never explained anything to him - I did not give him the satisfaction of having the last whinge and I stopped feeding the monster.

    *If* you feel that you have to wean yourself out of her manipulations, start by not giving her any information. Ask her for nothing and give her only simple matter-of-a-fact decisions. Good Luck - the relief of being free is so sweet

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  8. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingClassMum View Post
    Either way - she has you hooked into her game - by virtue of the fact you are stressing already means she has some form of control.

    Re-write the rules to suit yourself and only give her what information she needs to know when it suits you to give it to her.

    My father is a malignant narcissist and his wife is his minion - I simply walked away and never explained anything to him - I did not give him the satisfaction of having the last whinge and I stopped feeding the monster.

    *If* you feel that you have to wean yourself out of her manipulations, start by not giving her any information. Ask her for nothing and give her only simple matter-of-a-fact decisions. Good Luck - the relief of being free is so sweet
    You're so right with that ... i need to just do things my way and forget about including her and i need to stop feeling guilt all the time just because i want to live my life my way. I should have learned my lesson by now after including her in planning my very simple wedding of which she then set out to ruin (she admits to that now as well, but thinks i should get over it as it was 3 years ago so she doesn't have to apologise now) I am still somewhat traumatized by my wedding day and feel sick every time i think of it. So bugger it. Every time i give her involvement, consideration.. anything... she uses and abuses it and walks all over me leaving me feeling distressed every time. So bugger her.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 09-04-2014 at 15:16.

  9. #37
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    I would just organise the move, tell her when it's confirmed and then ignore the drama! 40 min isn't very far so she's being selfish if she can't make an effort. Tbh I would have gone further lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpmakes2 View Post
    I would just organise the move, tell her when it's confirmed and then ignore the drama! 40 min isn't very far so she's being selfish if she can't make an effort. Tbh I would have gone further lol
    Oh i so want to go further - id love to just move to a different state and start over!! I fantasize about it all the time. But DH's work is in the area we plan to move to. He is very dedicated to his job. But there might be a chance he will be offered a transfer to their Brisbane office. Then that's when we'll pack up and leave! Im sure ill be cut off completely if that happens too, as just going to Brisbane for a holiday when i was 23 resulted in mum not speaking to me the whole time i was away and threatening to cut me off is I ever went away like that again. She's a shocker.

  11. #39
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    Am I your sister?? This is my mother too, go about your business with your hubby, buy that house, give her the ten grand, ask if she'd like to help you move.... Hey least you involved her but seriously, it's tough., once you start packing maybe tell her. My mums best lately, is 'of course I judge you, you and your sister need to get over it this being judged thing and realise people judge you ,....yep.. Ahhh. Yep. This was after her standing and watching me tell dd to sit on her chair, then critiquing my tone of voice. I dream of moving... And she's an hour away!! **** 5 mins down the road, you need a medal!

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    Blessedbe I wouldnt tell her either. You are an adult. Its a financial and life decision you and your husband are making to better life for your family. She doesnt get to have an opinion regardless of how much she wants one. It sounds like you are 100% aware of the backlash you will get regardless of when you tell her. Doing it afterwards will allow you the time to make a good decision on your new home minus some stress x

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