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  1. #1
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    Default Grandparents

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    Last edited by maco; 10-04-2014 at 08:17.

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    My husbands parents start getting really antsy if they have to go more than a week without seeing my kids (I have 3 under 5). Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits, and they're great grandparents, but it does get a bit much sometimes. We are a very very busy family, and we make time to see them pretty much every weekend, and generally stay for the entire day - but then on the odd occassion we don't make it for the weekend, they start up on how much they miss them.
    I'm not complaining, like seriously I feel so grateful that my children have granparents who want to see them so much and would do anything for them, but yeh, sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming. On the weekends we can't get there (rare) I do let them facetime my older 2 or at least talk to them on the phone.
    I do get eyes rolled at me when I say no to sleep overs and baby sitting, but honestly, I have a young family and all I want to do is spend all my time with them, I have no desire to go out anywhere without them or have a night to myself. I just don't want it. Plenty of time as they get older for sleep overs at Grandma and Poppy's house

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    jesssalee  (07-04-2014)

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    Both sets if my boys grandparents live interstate. My parents visit about 4 times per year but they Skype twice per week. The inlaws visit once per year and never Skype/call.

    If I was in your situation I would go nuts. You need time together as a family. I would make every second Sunday your own little family time. Do the grandparents visit every second Sunday (at the most). If the grandparents want extra time can they come around during the week (a day time). Perhaps you could invite them around On a Saturday (daytime) when your hubby is at work so it doesn't impact family
    Time.

    Don't converse/argue with your FIL. Dr Phil would say it's your hubby's job to deal with his family and vice versa. So you and hubby come up with a plan and break it to your respective parents.

    Good luck..

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    2BlueBirds  (07-04-2014),penny92  (07-04-2014),smallpotatoes  (08-04-2014)

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    Once every 3-4 weeks. Seeing them too much would drive me batty!

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Both sets if my boys grandparents live interstate. My parents visit about 4 times per year but they Skype twice per week. The inlaws visit once per year and never Skype/call.

    If I was in your situation I would go nuts. You need time together as a family. I would make every second Sunday your own little family time. Do the grandparents visit every second Sunday (at the most). If the grandparents want extra time can they come around during the week (a day time). Perhaps you could invite them around On a Saturday (daytime) when your hubby is at work so it doesn't impact family
    Time.

    Don't converse/argue with your FIL. Dr Phil would say it's your hubby's job to deal with his family and vice versa. So you and hubby come up with a plan and break it to your respective parents.

    Good luck..
    DH works with his dad so they both work Saturday. Only having Sunday off.
    If he is already having a huge argument about what we are doing now I think e would kill us if we did every second week! Hubby is on the same page as me but I'm the one who says anything as I can't keep my mouth shut but I think I am going to not say another word or see him until I get an apology for coming into my home as yelling at me while holding my son and DH can do the talking
    They pretty much want us to be there all day. Make DS have naps there and stay after his nap. We have things to do and also see my parents to that's not going to happen.

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    I hope your dh stood up for you when FIL was yelling at you. In what alternate universe is that ok?

    IMO your immediate family- as in you dh and DS- come first and foremost. You need to spend quality time together first.

    Extended family- as in grandparents- come second.

    I think you should spend alternate Sunday afternoons at each grandparents house. I think that's more than reasonable. Then when belly babe gets here you could extend it to once a month with the two remaining Sundays being just for your immediate family.

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    Mum usually comes once a week or once a fortnight. Mil saw them MAYBE once a month before she left for her long teem holiday.


    Totally in love with our two beautiful little girls.
    Feb 2011 and May 2013

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    My mum and DHs parents live in uk. DHs parents Skype every weekend to see dd (7months). My mum hasn't seen her since jan and never skypes. My dad and stepmum live 20mins away. My dad last saw her in feb, my stepmum came round to see her a few weeks ago. We offered to go round there last Saturday but my dad wanted to watch the footy.
    Basically other than DHs parents and my stepmum no-one gives a cra.p

  12. #9
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    I agree with PP, it would drive me nuts to spend our one family day for the week running from house to house visiting grandparents!

    We see my parents once or twice per week. My mum is our only babysitter and is happy to care for one child while I take the other to appointments, etc. She is absolutely indispensable. My parents and children absolutely adore each other. We generally see them on weekday afternoons after school while DH is at work.

    My MIL and SFIL are not particularly interested in our kids or us. DH doesn't have a great relationship with them. It used to upset me but I've come to accept it over the years. Despite them only living 20mins away, we've only seen them once in the past three months.

    FIL lives 3 hrs away but adores DH and our kids. He comes to stay for the weekend as often as his work allows, usually about 6 times per year.

  13. #10
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    I had to put my foot down when dd was very little with the in-laws. They were wanting to come every weekend. With dh working the hours that he does, he was (and sometimes still is) rarely home to see dd of an evening and time on the weekends was just too precious, especially if he was working them too! Now we see them once every 3-4wks which is much easier

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