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  1. #1
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    Default Just need to vent

    I had not long separated from exdh and I met this wonderful man. I felt we had this wonderful connection and that everything was great. This weekend we spent the whole weekend together and it was wonderful, until Sunday afternoon when he told me he just wants to be friends because the idea of 4 kids bother him, if I had only one kid the. It would be ok.
    I'm absolutely devastated really and feel so hurt. I'm upset at letting myself fall so quickly for another person. I had just started telling those close to me that I was seeing him and how wonderful he is. He has said he loved me and all that and says its just the kids. I don't know what to do or what to think. I can't stop crying. I have never been through this before.
    He wants to meet and talk and he has asked to be friends

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    Big hugs EmeraldDolly I'm not backing him but maybe a friendship is at least somewhere to start. If he doesn't have kids of his own maybe the reality of 4 kids over the weekend took him by surprise. He could have been a real jerk and ran for the hills but he has asked to talk. You do have 4 great kids who obviously need to be your no. 1 priority. If he wants to turn you into a 'friend with benefits' then you will need to think carefully about his motivation but if he just wants the friendship and there's a possibility to build on that then it could be a slower progression of the relationship. I can imagine that your heart would have been hurt though especially since it was feeling so good and going so well x

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    penny92  (11-04-2014)

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    Oh hun, how heartbreaking. He may be just feeling a bit overwhelmed with the 4 kids at first. Maybe he wants to be friends and see how he feels later? He is doing the right thing in the long run as he maybe doesn't want the kids to be hurt.

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    Thanks for the replys. I know it's best. He doesn't have kids so it would be very overwhelming. And I am wanting to at least be friends and then maybe see what happens. Things moved quickly really. It might be nice just to slow down.

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    yeah I'd say by the sounds of it he wants to just go slow.. see how it goes. 4 kids might grow on him with time of getting to know you better

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    He wants to see me today and to talk. So this will hopefully be good or at least helpful. I'm glad that I asked on here because your replies have helped me think about it from his perspective.

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    It seems to have worked out ok. We have both agreed to go slow and work on the friendship side of things. So last last couple of days we have had some time just hanging out. I know he is still very keen on me, I also read up about "taking things slow" and it says that couples who do that have a much better chance of lasting longer.
    I know that I can tick a box in regards to discussing issues and working stuff out. He could have just given up or got annoyed that I got upset, but he didnt. He kept checking I was ok, told me to think about it and then we talked about everything. I have never had a relationship like that

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    Quote Originally Posted by EmeraldDolly View Post
    It seems to have worked out ok. We have both agreed to go slow and work on the friendship side of things. So last last couple of days we have had some time just hanging out. I know he is still very keen on me, I also read up about "taking things slow" and it says that couples who do that have a much better chance of lasting longer.
    I know that I can tick a box in regards to discussing issues and working stuff out. He could have just given up or got annoyed that I got upset, but he didnt. He kept checking I was ok, told me to think about it and then we talked about everything. I have never had a relationship like that
    I'm excited for you. You deserve someone awesome. I hope it goes well and that you keep us posted

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    Good luck OP. 4 new kids would be daunting to anyone at first, much less someone that isn't a parent! Give it time x

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Good luck OP. 4 new kids would be daunting to anyone at first, much less someone that isn't a parent! Give it time x
    I agree with this. Good luck x


 

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