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  1. #131
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    Thanks Bel
    and how are you going btw?
    X

  2. #132
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    It's hard when you first come off BC because it's difficult to know exactly how long your cycle will even be, and when you are going to ovulate. This is only my second cycle of BC (first cycle was 41 days) and going off that I'm 3 days late for AF, but I think I actually O'd 12 days ago...so I might not be due yet - arrgg how confusing. Anyway, I refuse to do a test now unless AF hasn't showed by Tuesday

    Have you had a chat to him about drugs and your expectations of that situation while you're TTC and after a baby is born? I'm placing no judgement or telling you what you should do - I had a marriage where drugs (and hard ones at that) were the norm and now have a marriage where my DH can't stand drugs, so I've seen both. What I'm saying is, if you have an expectation that he shouldn't be doing that now, when you're pregnant or after you have a baby, you might want to have a serious chat with him. You might find out he doesn't want to stop. (And he'll show you that by either straight out telling you he doesn't want to stop, by saying you're overreacting or by saying he will stop but not actually doing that). It will then be up to you as to whether you will accept that and keep TTC or whether it's a deal breaker for that situation.

    It's a difficult situation and I'm sorry you're in it x This is a great thread to be able to share your journey though, and I'm sure everyone will help with advice as much as they can I don't think your user name identifies you too much either, but you can change it if you want to


    Gah, now I can't write DH without laughing, and it already made me giggle before this! Hehe

  3. #133
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    And sorry if any of that was a bit jumbled, I was woken up rather early by the big booming bark of one of our dogs letting me know he could see a small child running around our front yard trying to catch a dog. He was about 3 years old. After catching the dog for him, and establishing that the child had run off after the dog without telling anyone, I walked him and the dog home...in my pyjamas...to a very distraught Mother. It's harder to look dignified walking back home alone in your pyjamas I must say....lucky it was around the corner...

  4. #134
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    Haha love it!
    no, thanks for the response, of course that makes sense but sometimes hard to have those conversations in a direct way. I suppose I always assumed that it would stop once we have kids, but now I'm feeling like we have different expectations.

    Hill Dweller we've both been off BC about the same time - I think. And the one thing I've learned so far is that if I have any symptoms again, I'm going to force myself to wait a couple of weeks before testing! Too disappointing!

  5. #135
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    It is definitely one of the harder conversations to have, I totally understand ! but I think very important to make sure your expectations line up. Minot just about that but about lots of things to do with pregnancy, birth and child raising DH and I have lots of 'what do you think we'd try to do in that scenario?' conversations to make sure we're on the same page (and talk if out if we're not )

    Yep, I symptom spotted like crazy and drive myself mad the first month! Now, no matter how many 'symptoms' I think I have, I'm going to force myself to wait until AF is late to test to save my sanity

  6. #136
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    @AJsyd - sorry to hear about your BFN, but yay for AF not that long after coming off BC!

    As for the drugs issue, my DH and I used to smoke a lot of the green stuff a while back. We planned a big holiday overseas for 6 weeks and when we came back, said no more. It was tough and we had a few relapses, but stood our resolve to not have any more in a permanent/everyday fashion.

    My DH will succumb every 6-12 months or so when at a party, but it's never beyond that one night. I've abstained as I want to keep my body clear (cigarettes are my vice, which I'm now, painfully, trying to give up).

    As HD said, have a chat with him about why he uses them and to see if he'd be willing to give them up for a while.

    I think in the end we realised that we didn't need the drugs for the reasons we were saying (stress, dealing with annoying people, etc), which helped us to "let go" of it better.

    Sure, it's fun being on them, but life is still great when not on them as well!

  7. #137
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    Thanks Shrillian
    yeah I kinda feel like we're at an age where SURELY we can leave that kinda stuff behind & look forward to the next stage in our lives!
    how are all you girls going anyhow?
    Oh yeah, the other acronym I couldn't figure out is BD?!

  8. #138
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    @AJsyd - exactly!

    Doing well. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't track with OPKs, I caved today and tested. Halfway there, so looking like it will be positive in the next couple of days, giving me a textbook CD14 O. Let's see!

    BD = Baby Dance

  9. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJsyd View Post
    Thanks Bel
    and how are you going btw?
    X
    I'm feeling pretty mixed atm AJ. I have had my second tube out recently and is really hit home that the only way I can fall pregnant now is IVF. Its so final. No trying naturally in between IVF processes, no chance that BD'ing will ever make a bubba. I'm a bit heartbroken actually ...
    On a brighter note I am CD3 and am allowed to do a FET next cycle so its finally getting closer...

  10. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by bel2466 View Post
    I'm feeling pretty mixed atm AJ. I have had my second tube out recently and is really hit home that the only way I can fall pregnant now is IVF. Its so final. No trying naturally in between IVF processes, no chance that BD'ing will ever make a bubba. I'm a bit heartbroken actually ...
    On a brighter note I am CD3 and am allowed to do a FET next cycle so its finally getting closer...
    *big squishy hugs*

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Shrillian For This Useful Post:

    bel2466  (26-04-2014)


 

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