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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by lexim View Post
    Would you stay with him if he repeatedly cheated on you?

    I think I could move forward if it was a once off thing. If we sought help for it and he admitted to it being a huge mistake.
    I couldn't however turn a blind eye to him doing it again and again on a regular basis.
    He could say he loves me but how could someone hurt you like that and love you?

    I'm not sure? Not putting you in the firing line but interested in your opinion considering you've been in the situation before?
    What is repeatedly? More then once? Every weekend? More then once in a life time I could & would actually forgive, every other weekend I would struggle. If it happened from the get go I would defiantly walk away, but if my hubby of 8 years, father of my child, suddenly started seeing other women I would be asking 'do you love her?' 'Do you love me?' 'Do you want to be with her?' 'Do you want to be with me?' And as long as the response was 'no, yes, no & yes' I would work through it.

    If it continued to happen we would be in therapy & I'd try anything to make it work.

    How could someone hurt you like that & love you = it's not about you, it's about them, you could be the best wife/girlfriend ever, and they could still get wrapped up in someone else/take you for granted/not consider the impact of their actions/have behavioural or mental problems, they're are many reasons.

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  3. #42
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    I can only speak about my relationship with DF.

    Of course you can never say never but faithfulness is absolutely expected and assumed from both of us. I don't doubt for a moment that if I was unfaithful it would be over - and vice versa. But that is the sort of relationship we have. We are very blessed to be in a very loving, committed relationship. Although we have only been together for 10 years in that time we have never raised our voices at each other and have only gotten 'huffy' with each other a handful of times. I am still desperately in love with him and if I think about it too much I get overwhelmed with emotion when I think how much I love and adore him and how lucky I am to have him in my life and for him to be the father of my children. He feels the same way about me.

    I think society needs to raise their expectations of blokes.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by lexim View Post
    That's pretty sad.
    What do you think she would say/do if she found out?
    She would be devastated but I don't know if it would be a deal breaker. Hard to say really.

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    Dp cheating on me would be a dealbreaker for me. I can say that with 100% certainty. My previous dp cheated on me the entire 6yrs we were together, and I only found out after we split, I was disgusted, heart broken and betrayed, so if I were to find out dp cheated is feel the same and I don't ever want to put up with that again. He knows it too.

    Dp is fifo and there has never been one second that I've worried if he was faithful. I know in my heart he would never cheat, and he knows I wouldn't either. We have both been cheated on and we respect each other so wouldn't cheat.

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  8. #45
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    http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Why-Men-Cheat_2#!

    *Edited This article references 1/2.7 bit shady on my percentages today. I remember it from one of the library books I borrowed to make sense of it all when it first happened. Will find it and post it up.
    Last edited by made2bAmummy; 06-04-2014 at 16:43.

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    Ummmm.... I don't think its unrealistic??

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by made2bAmummy View Post
    http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Why-Men-Cheat_2#!

    This article references 60% or 1/2.7
    So one man interviews "over 100" men and 60% of them have cheated?
    That's not a very big study and certainly not one that would make me think 60% of men are cheaters.

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  12. #48
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    Another thing, DF had to fly to the US for 2 weeks earlier this year. In one skype conversation he told me he got hit on in a bar - but he was really excited and happy about it. I was happy for him too, it was a big ego boost for him. We laughed about it. He is the classic nerd, never confident at talking to women so he was really chuffed.

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  14. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Busy-Bee View Post
    Another thing, DF had to fly to the US for 2 weeks earlier this year. In one skype conversation he told me he got hit on in a bar - but he was really excited and happy about it. I was happy for him too, it was a big ego boost for him. We laughed about it. He is the classic nerd, never confident at talking to women so he was really chuffed.
    Hahaha that's cute.
    I would laugh to. And Sometimes they are so oblivious to it.
    DH gets hit on often and he really has no idea. I'm like "how's your new gf Honey?" After noticing it and he's like "what are you talking about?"

    He's even had girls mums trying to set him up with their daughters!!
    The other day he did a job for a lady and she was all like oh please let me set you up with my daughter!
    Last edited by lexim; 06-04-2014 at 16:42.

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  16. #50
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    for me, no it's not unrealistic to expect my partner to be faithful.

    i love him with everything i have. but i also love me just as much, enough to easily be alone for the end of my days if the other option meant to stay with a cheater.

    grown adults should have 100% control over their actions, that might mean not allowing yourself to get so drunk you end up cheating, or ending the relationship before beginning a new one; emotional and or physical. i dont buy the 'i slipped up excuse' tbh there is not a good enough excuse for cheating.

    people fall out of love, sure.. but that's no excuse to hurt and betray the person you once did love, especially when you haven't ended things with them.

    husbandface knows that choosing to cheat would be the death of our relationship, if he willingly decided on that, i guess i'd be better off without him anyway.

    *end rant*

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